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[RAM]

All the coolest people in the world die and haunt you as shadowy figures...

I wish that I hadn't posted this.

[Vgray]

Granted, you don't exist.

I wish DZA would start updating his forum game more often.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. He can only post one letter at a time.

I wish to know a man to be a man with certain skills, skills that make him me a nightmare for ant-killing monsters. And by monsters I mean people.

btw, how in the hell was that

incredibly lucky

of him?
And how did they kill him?
And how did I not hear?

[RAM]

Lucky to be of value, which could potentially have been manipulated to selfish ends. Getting butchered has little to do with luck and a lot to do with economics.

You are now part of a nightmare for a small child that stepped on an ant. You cease to exist after a few moments due to the child waking up.

I wish for a heart, a brain, courage, and to get home.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted, you are ET and have just finished harvesting organs from your foster family.

I wish elastic cuffs on shirts were 100% elastic and wore out 100x slower.

[Xantalos]

They are so tight that they strangle you for 100x as long!

I wish for all munchkin gamers to be staked Dracula-style, left to die, spitted, roasted, and served to me on a platter to devour.

[Drago55577]

Granted, but the stake team loses their instructions, so they impale you and roast you.
On the bright side, you taste delicious with gravy.


I wish the universe didn't die an entropic death around everyone in the forum.

[Frelus]

Granted, but now we will be the eternal slaves of the Illithids...

I wish I had a pet Bronze Colossus that followed my every command.

[RAM]

Try as hard as you might, you just can't come up with a single command to address every scenario, so it just sits in a field and very very very slowly rusts.

I wish for lions and tigers and bears.

[Remuthra]

You get lions, who proceed to eat you. The other two are counted as separate wishes, and you only have one wish.

I wish for the ability to force people to listen to classic rock when I make a hand gesture at them.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. Prior to making the handgesture, if you attempt to force anyone to do anything you get extreme, debilitating head pain. Once you make the sign, you gain the ability to force them, physically, with your own hands, to do whatever you actually can...while you're maintaining the sign. Good luck.
This is the hand gesture.

-edit
forgot my wish.
I wish to be better at finding good, factual, relevant lay-man research/quotes on the interwebs.

[Drago55577]

Granted, but all literature in the world fails, including internet and written (Don't ask me how that works, it just does.), and you can't find out how to restart them. (Restart the books!)

I wish i could restart books.

[Remuthra]

You can now restart books. You do this by flipping the pages the other way, and the books magically get unread!

I wish wishes were horses.

[RAM]

You cease to exist...

I wish for three primary colours to split into six primary colours.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. They are brown, brown, brown, brown brown and brown.


I wish to be excellent at doing homework.