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[Remuthra]

Granted, the thumbs are perfectly formed. The hand itself? Well, the nerves haven't quite recovered. I'm sure your hand will be able to move again someday.

I wish for absolutely nothing to happen as a result of this wish.

[Agent of Avarice]

Wish granted the universe ceases function, absolutely nothing will happen for all eternity as a result of your wish.
I wish for the next Dwarf Fortress version.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. It's on a memory card fused to your face and encrypted in a completely unknown programming language. Good luck.
-edit
btw the "memory card" is actually a 20-ton slab of concrete, and the program is an *engraving*.

I wish to amend my previous wish to the following, then having it retroactively granted.

I wish for 2 fully-(and perfectly, no pain)-formed & functioning opposable thumbs on each of my fully-formed & functional hands which are also attached to my fully formed and functional body instead of 1, to the effect I have 5 phalanges on each hand with three standard phalanges between the two thumbs. Here's an image for clarification (shows the genie the image):

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

-edit
wherever they are, they have to be fully-formed and functional.

[Darvi]

Granted. But you didn't specify where they were attached to your body.

I wish for entertainment.

[pisskop]

Granted, http://www.gapminder.org/ .  I spend hours here.

I wish for a second orange.

[Remuthra]

Granted. Sol is now consists of Sol-I, a yellow star, and Sol-II, another orange star. Due to the extreme heat the Earth becomes a volcanically hyperactive desert world. Most people die, but a few survive by living entirely underground. They quickly are mutated by the natural radiation of the environment into hideous eyeless monstrosities that run about the subterranean passages that make up their home, eating each other. All except for you. You won the new wish lottery, and recieved the grand prizes of immortality and immobility. You spend eternity in excruciating pain, having your skin burned off your body by the suns' rays.

I wish for a piece of paper that is perfect in every way, except for the fact that its edges are incredibly blunt.

[Just Some Guy]

Granted in its entirety. You get a piece of paper. What a waste.

I wish you had a better wish.

[Agent of Avarice]

Granted, Remuthra instead wishes for two pieces of perfect paper.
I wish for a 30 foot house cat (with an appetite reasonable for a beast it's size) that preys on my enemies, reality TV stars, and common domestic cows.

[RAM]

Granted, but, well, modern weapons...

I wish that cats were immune to permanent effects of physical violence.

[Agent of Avarice]

Granted, a race of psychic monsters invade and massacre the cat population, you monster.
I wish for a 30 foot house cat (with an appetite reasonable for a beast it's size) that preys on my enemies, reality TV stars, and common domestic cows, and is functionally immortal, invincible and eternally youthful.

[intelligentmoron]

Granted, unfortunately a persons worst enemy is all to often themselves so the cats kill you to prevent you from screwing up your own life.

I wish for a perfectly white, clean, and pressed t-shirt

[Remuthra]

Granted. Here's your prize.

I wish to be told what the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is.[/invisible edit]

[Aseaheru]

You forgot your wish...

[Remuthra]

Did I?
(fixed)

[Aseaheru]

No its not.