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[RAM]

You find your bacon floating upside down at the top of its tank, you cry for days...

I wish for a steam-powered mecha.

[DrPoo]

Granted, it requires extensive maintenance after a single hour of operation, loss of limbs while operating the machine is also a quite high risk.

I wish that i, like Cthulhu could grow tentacles out of my neck, for arbitrary uses.

[javierpwn]

You grow tentacles from your neck, and everyone you once knew, now cringes at the sight of the monstrosity you now are.

I wish I had me some churros.

[pisskop]

Granted, they have toothpaste in them as topping, but you won't know that until you bite into them.

I wish the city would have prepared for this blizzard better, instead of having to scramble for out of town bulldozers and dump trucks.

[Remuthra]

Granted, instead they erect a sort of net to catch all the snow, they store it in a massive reservoir uphill.
Which conveniently breaks when the snow melts.

I wish the topics I liked didn't die.

[Emral282]

Granted. They are instead horribly derailed.
I wish for all the luck. All of it.

[Remuthra]

Granted. You are so lucky that anything you think about happens. Too bad you can't control what you think about.

I wish to Take Over The World!*

*Of Course

[Emral282]

Granted. But you soon go bankrupt from the property taxes.
I wish for a ton of vanilla ice cream.

[javierpwn]

You now have a single ton(2000lbs) of ice cream dumped onto your body. Your body freezes shortly after you suffocate from the sheer pressure.

I wish my skin was scarless.

[Zephyr]

granted, however it becomes dark green and people mistake you for a sexy goblin (and kill you anyway).

I wish the Playstation Vita had Dwarf Fortress so I could take it ANYWHERE.

[Remuthra]

Grante-ERROR, THE SYSTEM HAS CRASHED!

I wish for hard copies of the DnD 3.5e books.

[Gentlefish]

Granted. They are very, very hard. In fact, they are made of solid granite.

I wish for a nice glass cup full of water sitting on my nice and clean table.

[Zephyr]

granted. Your chair is a pile of manure

I wish I could remember before I forget.

[RAM]

Granted...

I wish that someone would reply to this post.

[Remuthra]

Granted, peanut butter is awesome.
Which kind is better, crunchy or smooth?