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[misko27]

Granted. However, everyone ELSES name suddenly became cooler as well, leading to no net relative increase in coolness.

[Komra]

I wish for the best possible pizza to be delivered to my door.

[Corruptor]

Granted. The pizza is delivered to your door while you're asleep, and the delivery guy neglects to knock. By the next morning it's been stolen by the ninja turtles.


I wish that elves in DF would accept wooden items in trade without freaking out.

[scapheap]

Granted, they look at the items, nod their heads, go home and come back with a huge army. At least they didn't freak out.

I wish for a better computer.

[Corruptor]

Granted. The computer is a Mac, and possessed by Steve Job's control freak ghost, who deletes any video games immediately after they're installed.


I wish for an army worthy of Mordor.

[Just Some Guy]

Granted.

But it cannot just walk into Mordor...
Unless it does the silly walk from Monty Python. You conquer Mordor, but feel like an iditot while doing so.
I wish for a husky.

[Facekillz058]

Granted, you get a coat made of husky pelts.

I wish for more wishes, of which nothing can go wrong.

[javierpwn]

You get infinite wishes, but nothing goes wrong, if by nothing you mean everything

I wish I was A BRONTOSAURUS

[rabidgam3r]

Granted. You are a quadriplegic with a pack of raptors armed with chainsaws descending upon you.


I wish, to be on a comedy.

[misko27]

Granted. You are the Buttmonkey.
 
I wish for a emptry soda can.

[wer6]

Granted: it is in A jar of salt and barbed wire.

I wish for A one hundred dollar bill.

[Jbg97]

It's coated in anthrax.
I want to rule to universe in its entirety.

[Jellycat12]

Granted. You're in charge of everything, nothing can move without your permission. That's a lot of managing you've got to do!

I wish for my cats happiness.

[rabidgam3r]

Granted, but the thing that makes your cat happy puts it as the tyrant of the world, and your mouth is his litterbox.


I wish to be the Heat-Death of the universe.

[Komra]

Granted. As entropy, you feel yourself becoming ever more chaotic; eventually going absolutely nuts to the point that you simply disappear and the laws of physic break down.

I wish for this wish to not be granted.