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[wer6]

granted the turkey was made out of land mine.

i wish for a elf that is bounded to me and i am also bounded to everyone so if i die everyone dies.

[misko27]

Granted. You die and so does everyone else. They, however kick you to shit in the afterlife.

I wish my dog was as polite as my cat when it came to stealing food.

[wer6]

granted now the cast is in a lust to eat your hand: so does the dog too.

[Lovecraft]

Granted.

I wish I had a stradivarius Violin.

[Canisaur]

Granted.  You had a stradivarius Violin sometime in the past, but you lost it.

I wish I had a cookie.

[Jellycat12]

Granted. It is an EVIL cookie with deadly poison in it.

I wish that.

[jaxy15]

Granted, but.

I wish I didn't have such boring wishes.

[wer6]

granted however now they always involve a slow agonizing death and you have to with every day.

i wish for hurricane sandy to not not exist: it affects my forum games.

[pisskop]

Granted, Hurricane Sandy comes back into existence, but the double negative turns its eye into a Mist Generator.  Ass.

I wish I hadn't half-assed my essay on the orgins of auditory hallucinations and the effect it has on patient awareness.

[wer6]

granted instead you halfassed it on visual influences.

i wish for... hmm... i guess i wish for a elven space ship, since i cant think of anything else.

[Jellycat12]

Granted. YOU GET KILLED BY AN ELVEN SPACE SHIP! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I wish for HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[wer6]

 granted,your heart is replaced by a nitrogen bomb: you die laughing.

i wish for a rednecks.

[pisskop]

Granted, a pissed-off mountianeer will be by shortly to give you a red neck with a twitch...

I wish the psychology club would hurry up and meet already.  My resume will not fill itself in...

[wer6]

grantd however all the memebers are now angry rednecks that hates books..

i wish for elf.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Granted. It eats you.

I wish I had the 100% voluntary ability to divine the true answer to any question I thought of within seconds simply by thinking about it, with no negative side effects, and subtley enough that I am not taken by any organization to be forced to use my power against my will. (The one bit was ignored last time.)