Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[PTTG?]

GRANTED. You practice every day, to the exclusion of all else. Gradually, you become better and better, and after many years, you are recognized world-wide. Enormous crowds come to hear you play, and you could be a billionaire and never so much as hum again, but you refuse the glory and donate all but what you need to a hospital or something, because for you it ts all about the music. You are are the reluctant leader of a cult of followers, and despite your objections, these rabid fans worship the ground you walk on due purely to your fantastic talent. You still become better, however, your devotion to music driving you to beyond-human feats of symphony. At the very crescendo of what will be critically acclaimed as a universal 100%, 5-5, 10-10, 4-star, perfect performance, by universal acceptance the best musical production in human history, at the very peak of this event, I say, a cultist of yours, attempting to 'harvest' your power, stabs you 78 times with a crusty shiv. Also, due to unique solar-magnetic ion flux activity, roughly two hours after you expire from the excruciating wounds, all musical data is erased.

I wish I got a totally awesome pair of pants.

[Armok]

Asgtar Eawer, marble pants:
this is a pair of marble pants.
they mences whit spikes of iron.
they are entangled in hanging rings of lead.
on the item is a image of a elf and a demon in uranium, the elf is speaking with the demon.
on the item is a image of a elephant and a dwarf in elf leather, the elephant is striking down the dwarf.

I wish for the next post to be at least 150000 tokens long and contain at least 200 unique words.

edit: grammar.

[ October 08, 2007: Message edited by: Armok ]

[Gaulgath]

So do I, but I don't have that kind of time.

I wish that I had some apple pie right now.

[Lightning4]

Granted. An apple pie monster the size of Godzilla is rampaging around your neighborhood. It steps on your house.

I wish I had a spaceship.

[qwertyuiopas]

Sure, but it just crashed into your house.

I wish I had the dwarf fortress source code...

[Armok]

you get the code... in dwawen runes on stone tablets, in a big pile, whiteout page numbers.  

Hey, someone didn't corrupt my last wish  :roll:

[Lightning4]

Granted. You are poisoned by http://www.othyr.com/titin.html  by eating Lopado­te­macho­se­lacho­galeo­kranio­leipsano­drimhypo­trimmato­silphio­parao­melito­katakechymeno­kichlepikossypho­phatto­peristeralektryonop­tekephallio­kigklopeleiol­agoiosirai    o­baphetraganop­terygon, at an Antidisestablishmentarianism meet at Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu, where the band is playing "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." Unfortunately you catch pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis and pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism.
The spinning ☼Long Words☼ hits you in the head!
It flies off in a bloody arc! You have been struck down before the 200th word.

I wish my dwarves were all legendary.

Edit: heh, decided to make that a link. 180k letters is funny for two seconds, then you have to scroll down for an hour to get to the bottom

[ October 10, 2007: Message edited by: Lightning4 ]

[Roara Wolf]

Wish granted. Your dwarves are now all legendary, and have been from the start of your fortress. Not only that, but they've also worked on, as your fortress was being built, engraving it with countless masterwork engravings which you had to mine out to bring your fortress to its current status.
And they've just realized that you just did all that.
And they're pissed. Pissed enough to drag you through the screen and do such horrid things that I could potentially go on describing for entire books, but I don't want to spam the forum, so I'll just say they were really horrible and you really don't want more description.

I wish humans are a fully functional as a playable race in the next version of Dwarf Fortress.  

[Lightning4]

(From what I know of the new version, you would only need to change them to the player race. As far as I know you can rewall to make wooden buildings outdoors and give them roofs, and I keep seeing something about outdoor crops in the devlog. Don't let me make any false hopes though, but just mentioning what I see.)

Granted. Unfortunately, your humans constantly drink beer. As they are not alcohol dependant, they become drunk and barf all over the place. Then a goblin siege comes and wipes them out while they're having hangovers.

I wish I could control a kobold fortress and steal shiny things.

[ October 11, 2007: Message edited by: Lightning4 ]

[Roara Wolf]

Ah, sorry for replying so quickly but I just had to do this one.

Wish granted. Unfortunately, the only "shiny" things to steal are the vermin that liter your kobold dungeon.
Also a lot of people think the only point to your dungeon is for low level adventurers to level up at.
So your dungeon is doomed to be killed by a party with three people, each named "givmelootplz", "gokuss9", and "SSJArmok", who respectively later die to spiders, remake as gokuss10, and get killed by the actual elder God Himself.
Plus, you wasted a wish on something you already could have gotten.

Hm... let's see what I wish....
I wish I wish I wish I had a fish!  

[ October 11, 2007: Message edited by: Roara Wolf ]

[Armok]

The spinning !!Whale shark!! strikes you in the head!
You have been struck down!
(poor burning shark   )

I wish for koboldkind!

[Pnx]

GRANTED! You find yourself surrounded by friendly kobolds that tend to your every need... But pretty soon you start to wonder where all your shiny stuff went and then suddenly they are gone.

I wish for more wishes!... Failing that I want telekinesis.

[Roara Wolf]

How 'bout both?

Wish granted. You get two more wishes, the first of which is retroactively spent to allow you to wish that you want telekinesis. At this point, you want telekinesis so badly you're willing to do *anything* for it, and every second you live without telekinesis makes you want to claw your eyes out in suffering. So, you quickly use the second wish to wish for telekinesis.

Unfortunately, the second free wish you got required a unusual sacrifice, designed specifically to make you never want to use it.

Enjoy being Abraham Lincoln's mindless (and therefore telekinesis-less) sex slave for the rest of eternity.  

I wish that as of right now, 1+1 is 3 instead of 2, without anything else about Math changing as side-effect or consequence.

[qwertyuiopas]

granted, but you are using a computer programming language that I thought of but never told anyone that is just like C except that all the numbers are treated like letters, and the only ACTUAL numbet that can be used is P and P is equal to 3.14159265358979 and to make the wish trye, you set the VARIABLE 1 to be p/p+(p/p)/(p/p+p/p). note that p/p is 1 and (p/p)/(p/p+p/p) is 0.5. so, 1 is 1.5, and no other math is affected. at least as long as 3 is p/p+p/p+p/p

I wish that that ^^^ was the number system of the entire world.

[LSTAR]

Granted, and OHGODNOWHATHAVEYOUDONEWE'REDYINGDYINGDYINGANDYOUDON'TEVENCAREARRRGHARRRRGGGHHHHARGHHHH!

I wish for 2 and a half more hours in a day.