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[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. It turns into a platinum dragon and eats you!

I wish....

For peas.

[Zako]

Granted, you are smothered by a ocean of snow peas as you fall in a storage tank full of them.

I wish for...

A new LCD TV.

[Neoskel]

Here you go, a new Lava Creature Dispensing TV! Congratulations! Enjoy your fireballs!

I wish that people wouldn't have such an inflated opinion of themselves.

[The Doctor]

Granted, now they're rock hard opinions. Nothing you do will ever deflate they're ego.

NOTHING.

I wish I had a giant Tower full of stone, with a fortified position at the top, and on top of that 4 catapults.

[Zako]

Its spelt their. FEAR MY ENGLISH SKILLS!

Granted, but due to bad construction it caves in. Stupid dwar- I mean builders...

I wish for the best DF experience possible.

[The Doctor]

Granted. You lose.

I wish Losing was More Fun.

[Helmaroc]

Granted, losing if more fun, but the game is much easier, and you can't seem to lose no matter how hard you try. Even after completely destroying your entire computer set-up, you can't seem to get the you lose, hooray message.

I wish for more paper. Magic paper, that didn't require trees to be made, instead it's made out of grass. But it's just like normal paper. Yeah.

[Neoskel]

You get paper made of elephant dung. What? It's made from grass...sorta.

(They really do make paper out of elephant dung too.  )

I wish for a DnD universe based RTS game to be given to my nemesis.

[eerr]

who is your nemesis???

[Zako]

Granted, its the best game ever made, and ever will be made for that fact! And he has the only copy and brags about it daily to you.

I wish I hadn't sat on that fish...

[The Doctor]

You wish, oh wish, you hadn't sat on that fish?

I wash, oh wash, that you sat on the hash.

I wish, oh wish, that we all spoke in Dr.Suessian...ish.

[Zako]

Granted, you are aducted by aliens and probed fircely because you insulted their mothers gender.

I wish that humans hade made peaceful relationships with an alien race.

[Helmaroc]

Granted, humans hate making peaceful relationships with aliens, and we get blown up. (you said 'hade', the genie spell checker fixed it)

I wish for more levers.

[Zako]

I COMMAND THIS THREAD TO RISE FROM THE DEAD!!

Wish granted, all the levers tormet you in some way, from deducting money from your bank account, to showing your diary to the general public as well as making a steel-cap boot kick you in the groin.

Each one is pulled liberally.

I wish for the powers of god!

[qwertyuiopas]

Granted, you get all the powers of a lesser sub-god in the current version of DF, aka to exist in name and description only. Oh, and it is an elf god, so you don't get hordes of loyal slaves, all you get is an army of tree-hugging pansies.

I wish that the blue ball machine was required viewing in all schools everywhere.