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[Vorthon]

Granted. It teleports into his vicinity so that it intersects his brain, killing him.

I wish I could find players for the D&D campaign I've been playing. Who aren't total jerks or douchebags.

[werty892]

Granted, but since they like eachother, and start to think you are a douchbag, they play without you.

I wish for a 100kw laser that has no negative modifiers.

[lemon10]

Granted it works perfectly with near zero energy consumption, sadly the goverment takes the laser away for research purposes before you can even fire it.


I wish I has a million watt laser that I could fire once for a period of fifteen seconds (without it breaking down or anything).

[pisskop]

Granted.  but you stole it from the Feds, and they don't seem too happy about your terrorism.

I wish I had a perfect understanding of human anatomy.

[Mr Space Cat]

Granted... You never realized how disgusting people are.

I wish I had a delicious sub sandwich.

[jaxy15]

Granted. It contains cyanide and you die shortly after eating it.

I wish for complete control over frost.

[lemon10]

Granted, you have perfect control over frost, for a half second until someone rips open your head and steals your power from your brain.

I wish for a giant meteor would hit Mercury and blow it to pieces.

[pisskop]

Granted, Mercury bits crash into the Sun creating larger solar disruptions.  Our magnetic poles swap as a result and birds fly down.  You are a casualty of a bird attempting to migrate through your head.

I wish for my psychology club to get its arse in gear and hold a meeting.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Granted. They disband.

I wish this wish turned out well for me.

[misko27]

Granted. It turns out all right in the end. Utill then though, You're fucked.

I wish I was sane.

[Omegastick]

Granted, you are now sane. It turns out everyone is actually insane, though, and you have to live your life surrounded by crazy people.

I wish I could eat as many cupcakes as I liked and never get full or run out of money.

[Mr Space Cat]

Granted. Every cupcake you eat contains the innards of people you know. You never make the connection to how every time you eat a cupcake, another acquaintance goes missing.

I wish Valve could release TF2 updates that didn't end up messing with servers, or performance, or game balance, etc.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Granted. They make an update that makes playing TF2 cost 5¢ per ten minutes playing, rounded up.

I wish that I was a real-life Mary Sue in a non-deconstruction work.

[Vorthon]

Granted. The Protectors of the Plot Continuum decide to branch out from just dealing with Sues in bad fanfics to dealing Sues in any and every situation. You're their first non-fanfic target. It doesn't end well for you. But your glittery blood does end up making a small dwarven child very happy.

I wish I could figure out what to make my next blog post about.

[Spinal_Taper]

You do. How much you love tween pop artists.

I wish that GIVE ME FLUX NAOW, DWARF FORTRESS