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[crazysheep]

Granted, but this means that you are obsolete and you thus need several tonnes of upgrades to be competitive.

I wish for some brain bleach.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Granted, but it's not very good. In order to erase any traumatizing memories you'd need to apply more of it than you have.

I wish for a blessed fixed greased wand of wishing.

[Iosyn]

Granted, but wishing for more wishes/ items that grant more wishes is in breach of the celestial Wish^TM charter.
Please see your nearest Angel Solar for Judgement.

I wish I was a girl magnet.

[Rose]

Granted. You attract guy magnets to you. You are soon carrying a baby magnet.

I wish I didn't need sleep.

[TSTwizby]

As it turns out, sleep isn't actually needed, just a very good idea. You find out why after the first month of not sleeping. The results aren't pretty.

I wish that sandpaper could be easily made out of pasta noodles.

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted, however the pasta noodles rise up in rebellion against their cruel treatment and take hold of the world's nuclear missile systems. Then, by firing one down an insanely long shaft to the planet's core initiate an earthquake of apocalyptic proportions, leveling all cities and costing thousands of lives.  Slowly civilization rises from its ashes and never again makes pasta, however because of this, a runner at the 1st Alompac Games from a small country collapses from the lack of carbohydrates and humiliates his country.  Then in shame he retreats into the mountains and creates a robotic army from the ruins of the civilization that used to live there and razes the entire earth to the ground.

Hope your pasta-paper was worth it.



I wish I had a cup of tea.

[Hanslanda]

Granted. It is american tea, filled with a ton of sugar and served ice cold. Or, if you're american, it is british tea, but served with dog **** in it.

I wish I had all the abilities of a 20th level wizard from 3.5 Dungeons and Dragons, including spells and knowledge of how to cast them, with an intelligence score of 20.

[Corai]

Granted, but then you get killed by SWAT sniper.

I wish this wish was corrupted.

[Hanslanda]

Granted, your wish is corrupted by chaos.

I wish I was a fish in a dish.

[Azthor]

Granted, thou art ikizukuri, rejoice!

I wish for the Trident of the Red Rooster.

[Skyrunner]

You get nothing, because red roosters don't have tridents.

I wish I didn't have to go to school tomorrow.

[Blizzlord]

Granted. You do no longer have to go to high school at all. As it turns out you were going to have a great and fun time there, and you lose out on the education.
Actually, nobody forced you to go there in the first place. Would you look at that...

I sort of wish there was a single girl in my high school class. There are none currently, and it feels strange to be in an all boy class.

[Zecro_The_Scourge]

Wish granted: The Kai queen comes and slaughters you all and make broodlings from the corpses.

I wish for fhtagn.

[Blizzlord]

*drops Necronomicon*
"You are not alone..."
*leaves*

I wish I spent some time actually reading the work of Lovecraft rather than watching the movie adaptations.

[TSTwizby]

Granted. As it happens, the slight barrier provided by the adaptation of the stories from print to film was the only thing keeping you sane all this time. The day after you finish, you complain of faint scratchings in the walls. Your use of the words 'daemoniac' and 'cyclopean', among others, skyrockets. You are found dead in a week, lying on the ground in front of a crude effigy made out of rolled up newspaper with a plate of calamari sitting on its head, that being the closest thing you could find to a squid.

I wish that the wish made in the third post after this one will be interpreted (before corruption) as meaning the exact opposite of what was written, with the interpretation of 'opposite' being determined by whoever makes the fourth post after this one.