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[Argonnek]

Due to the lack of a wish above...

I wish that I had perfect balance.

[Rose]

Granted. You are now always perfectly vertical. good luck sleeping.

Better better better, better better, betterbetterbetter.

[jaxy15]

Better, better better better.

I wish for a mommy cat and a daddy cat.

[Argonnek]

Granted. They have a litter of fifteen kittens (because the RNG hates you) and your FPS is reduced dramatically as a result.

I wish I had a US Navy officer's saber, which I acquired legally.

[DarkWolfXV]

Granted. You have your hand pierced with it now.

I wish i was even more awesome.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You are so awesome that EVERYONE wants to reproduce with you and only you. The mutants born from your children reproducing with you, and those children reproducing with you eventually result in savage mutants that destroy humanity.

I wish for the ability to control time.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. You can make time pass at any speed you wish. However, doing this permanently screws up everyone's sense of time and perception of the world, leading to widespread insanity.

I wish reality was digital instead of analog.

[Blizzlord]

Granted. Now everything either moves too slowly or too quickly.

I wish that Dwarf Fortress had simpler controls.

[sayaks]

Granted, now you only need one button to play, this button build you entire fortress for you, and plays the game for you, and never ends because the computer is awesome. Eventually it overloads your computer and it blows up.

I wish i got an A in every subject.

[Devling]

Technically using magic wishes is cheating.
Though you get and A in all classes, the grades were repealed and replaced with all F's.

I wish that i could tell Me a good story.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You tell http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?action=profile;u=52503 a good story. He is not interested, though.

I wish for a stand, like in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.

[Devling]

You

What is this madness! I said i! silly.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Granted. You tell http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?action=profile;u=52503 a good story. He is not interested, though.

I wish for a stand, like in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.

Granted, the stand can only be sustained for one second, and you must wait one thousand years to use it again.

I wish to become a planeswalker with the ability to control red, blue, colorless, and white mana.

[EveryZig]

I wish to become a planeswalker with the ability to control red, blue, colorless, and white mana.

Granted, but it doesn't stop the slivers from getting you.

I wish for a jar of delicious BRAINS.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Granted, yours is amoung them.

I wish to be able to terraform the universe and the multiverse, including all universes therein.