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[Trapezohedron]

Granted. However, by the time I grant that wish, you are already neck-deep in sloshy feces. And then you drown...

I wish that the next corruption would end with ellipses...

[zomara0292]

Granted, it ends in ellipses, but . . .

I wish a were the Almighty Beat God from Patapon

[Devling]

To bad, lacking ears, you can't hear the beat.

I wish he could hear the beat.

[xdarkcodex]

Granted, he can hear the beat, he can feel the beat. He ends up in the ER and his mugger gets 5 years in jail.

I wish rum was a currency again.

[mainiac]

Granted.  Cue the burning sock.

I wish I was a lesbian.

[Devling]

To bad your really a man! wait what 

I wish rum was not currency anymore.

[borno]

Granted. Rum (And any other types of alchohol) turns illegal.

I wish that I was rich.

[xdarkcodex]

Granted, you sell alcohol illegally and then you got thrown in prison for 5 years.

I wish all prisons have swimming pools.

[Scelly9]

Granted, all prisons have swimming pools of magma

I wish I had a million dollars.

[Devling]

To bad the money is in a volcano... YOUR VOLCANO! awesome...

I wish

[xdarkcodex]

No you don't.

I wish for a magnificent and mighty chocolate mousse moose presented on a marble stone.

[Argonnek]

Granted. However, the mousse moose melts, making massive messy mounds of muck. Multiple municipalities mete many maltreatments upon you.

I wish I could stop and restart time for everything and everyone but me at my leisure.

[mainiac]

Granted but you end up procrastinating shit and stopping time to make it up so much that your entire life flies by in a few real world days.

I wish the noisy assholes in the next unit over would fail out of college and not be around to be noisy assholes.

[Greiger]

Granted, they fail out of college.  But they fail out by catching a horribly contagious rare disease that prevents them from going to class.  Unfortunately it spreads a bit before it is caught and quarantined.  As you can probably guess, you have it too.  See that strange rash expanding all over your body?  Don't itch it.

I wish the game I have been furiously clicking the refresh button on 50 times in the last 15 minutes just to frikkin pre order, would give full access to the game for beta testing purposes to everybody who pre-orders.  (and not this two days once a month thing they are already advertising.  I mean FULL access.)

[mainiac]

Okay, but the game sucks.

I wish the noisy assholes will have their speakers break.