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[Zephyr]

Granted, you were right about being wrong

I wish I Diablo 3 and the new Dwarf Fortress patch would come out o,o

[rarborman]

Granted your a Diablo 3, now you cant enjoy the new Dwarffortress patch that has just came out for real.

I wish for Aliens.

[Sparrorf]

Granted, now you are in lost in another planet and also hungry

I wish to become a ninja

[rarborman]

/gasp! how you know that?

Granted you'll ninja a post soon.

I wish I didnt have to hide.

[Zecro_The_Scourge]

Wish granted, you are shamed by everyone for being a ugly goblinite.

I wish for everything and nothing

[rarborman]

Granted you get something lost.

I wish Toady was more forgiving.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Granted. However, due to his forgiveness, he no longer believes in the gory violence DF contains, preferring the diplomacy route over goblin limbs flying into magma pits. He cancels the development of DF and you are lynched for making that wish.

I wish that I could write an SCP.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted. You write an overly cliched, mary sue of a Keter class SCP. It is subsequently killed off by Dr. ██████ for [DATA EXPUNGED]

I wish [DATA EXPUNGED]

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Granted, the Klingon monkeys from Mars take over Ponyville and create horrible hyrbids of monkey-alicorns, then Armok blows up the world and everyone dies for some reason.

I wish I had a phone, any phone.

[Trapezohedron]

Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring, banana phone~

You get a banana, shaped like a phone. It is made out of banana, and menaces with spikes of cake frosting. It is non-functional.

I wish I was IamanElfCollaborator.

[terkiey]

You are dropped into the magma pit for being an elfcollaborator.

I wish that the signature limit was fireproof.

[IamanElfCollaborator]

Granted, however there is no need for a fireproof sig, therefore you see no significant improvment.

I wish I was a bucket, and someone would kick me. :3

[The Fool]

That is so... I don't even know where to start. Granted, you're kicked and you go flying down the stairs, and then you get turned into a bucket.

I wish I was the Swedish Chef from the Muppets.

[Trapezohedron]

Granted. Too bad the industry told me there can only be one Swedish Chef per universe, so I transform you into the Squeamish Chef.

"Aieeeeeee!"

I wish I wadn't typimg kn an iDevice.

[Vorthon]

Granted. You are typing on a typewriter. No internets for you!

I wish I had a decent singing voice.