Why are dumped corpses ignored for so long? When I have burial-ready coffins
Coffins have to be built before they can be used. Then you can either assign dwarves to them manually or set it up for auto. Make sure to turn off pet burial or they use the coffins for dead cats and dogs too.
Why are there no goblins even though I'm one overworld map tile from a goblin fortress with maximum world aggression settings?
When you set up the fortress you need to check the neighbors screen to see all civs and their relationship with you. Plus, you won't have other civs appear on your list until you first encounter them, which could be years in game time - assuming you meet the wealth criteria. You need to build up wealth before invasions are triggered. If you're too poor, goblins can't be assed to attack.
Why is there no ore despite prioritizing mining at 1-3 priority for years
That's site-specific. Did you customize the world to have more ore? "prioritizing mining" doesn't do anything to ores. You should dig thin criss-crossing exploration tunnels on each level, don't waste time digging out whole levels if there's no ore veins. Metal veins run for long distances.
Why haven't my farming plots after a year despite having a high traffic area leading there and three farmers?
Traffic zones don't affect which jobs dwarves go for. They only affect pathing once a dwarf has already decided where he wants to go. don't bother with them.
You need (1) seeds (2) farmers with grower/planter labors on (3) farm plots where you have selected what type of crop to grow there each season. Cooking destroys seeds, so it's also a good idea to turn off cooking for raw plants if you build a kitchen. Eating raw plants, or brewing raw plants creates seeds, so brewing plants gives back plantable seeds. So making a lot of booze is a good way to ensure a steady seed + booze supply. Drinking booze give dwarves a huge productivity boost too, so if you're not keeping up the booze supply then that's an efficiency problem.
Since you have many prepared meals, maybe you accidentally cooked all your crops with the seeds in them (which destroys the seeds).
Why do I have to dump axes before woodcutters will use them?
I've never heard of this one at all. Are you sure you're not doing something else. Dumped axes should be forbidden, so not usable.
Why can't I pacify moody dwarves?
"Moods" are when dwarves go insane and want to make an artefact. If they can't get the materials they want, they either go hikkomori and starve to death, or go insane and kill everyone. It's a game feature. you can only try and help them make the artefact, or wall them up before they start going psycho.
Had a married mason go mad and become a craftsdwarf
"Moods" always target a random skill. If they complete their little mission, they make an artefact and become Legendary in that skill
him for a month and he dies of dehydration
Yeah, because he failed to create the artefact, he stops eating and dies or goes insane. You're lucky he didn't go beserk and kill his wife, it was a 50/50 chance. This is a deliberate game feature.
How do I prevent dwarves from trapping rodents that escape their cages while getting them to trap animals for food
Trapping vermin isn't a source of food. You want hunting, which needs bows, quivers and bolts, or fishing, which needs a usable river area with a fishing zone.
How do I butcher tamed animals?
Have a butchers building, give 1 or more dwarves the butchery labor. Go into the animals screen and click "b" next to the animal you want to kill. you can also use the cursor on an animal on the map, and tag them for slaughter.
Is there a way to heal possessed
No, "possessed" is a Strange Mood which makes an artefact. It can only end in an artefact (and the dwarf becoming Legendary in the crafting skill) or death/insanity.
Does dumping water on animals and dwarves prevent disease and ticks?
Being dirty doesn't make dwarves sick. Unless it's poison slime or dust from some monster or evil dust clouds/poison rain, which you sometimes can get in evil biomes. Cleaning is generally for fortress housekeeping/FPS, not health (other than keeping poisonous Forgotten Beast secretions out). You can make a small depression in a corridor, fill it with a few levels of water. This "foot bath" will wash stuff off any dwarf passing through. Otherwise, use the dfclean (I think) cheat in dfhack.
Why isn't the priority of obtaining those resources automatically increased when other dwarves need them (to the point of suicide over lack of logs)?
The priority system is new, so it's only been implemented in a basic fashion. And it's up to the player to manage that. Are you sure it was lack of logs? did you check the dwarf message against the wiki page on Strange Moods? Managing resources for the moods is part of the game, not automated.
it would be nice to be able to focus on those without constant resource shortages and migrants.
If you're having resource shortages, that's your issue not the game. You had
too much of lots of stuff, like 2000 prepared meals and 3000 ammunition. You need more experience in how to manage production. If you get that covered you never have shortages of anything.
Are you saying you have too many migrants as well? Because migrants = resources. Just ignore their "profession" and re-assign them to whatever labor you need. Turn OFF hauling on the most important specialists so that they focus on doing important jobs too. Use custom names and custom profession labels on all dwarves to help keep track of who does what.