PART 33 – Hippiemancy
Tatooine/Ebon HawkThe will of
the people A Thing has spoken: abridged conversations to reduce boring conversations and my workload!
Obligatory transition screen. I initially started using these to show which area I was going to, but now I am just fond of them.
:
I’m sorry? What are you talking about?Maana Demknot:
You should be sorry for sharing a species with that… that creature. I swear, “Helena” must be your word for pit rancor.:
Just get out of my way.Maana Demknot:
Get out of your way, out of her way. I’ve already left the cantina and now I can’t walk down the street. Arrogant humans! All of you!Anyway, we’ve been nice long enough. Time to go full
goth dark side.
:
I’ll take however as long I want. Understand?Mechanic:
Uh, is there some kind of a problem? I’m just doing my job, I don’t want any trouble from you.:
I think you’re my problem. Maybe I should do something about it.Actually I don’t say that, it doesn’t give any dark side points so I don’t care. Anyway, he explains how the sandcrawlers we eventually see in the movies being manned by the Jawas are built and owned by Czerka. Things got a heck of a mileage on them if they lasted around 4000 years. He also mentions how the sand people love to attack them and how Czerka is offering a bounty. This bounty, my friends, is how we’ll balance our alignment scale to match the thread title.
Hippie Duros:
And don’t tell me to take my concerns to your corporate kiosk! I know when I’m not wanted.!:
What’s going on? Who are you?We are the most polite darksider.
Duros:
I’m done talking in this office. They aren’t interested in listening to me. I doubt they will even acknowledge I was here. Typical corporate evasion. That’s what happens when they own everything. No accountability. Don’t even bother bringing it up.Does this mean we’re shadowrunners?
Poor lady doesn’t even have a name. And she’s a pretty big part of the plot here. Even if only as the dispenser of our blood money.
Protocol Officer:
If this is about employment, I’m afraid all regular mining positions are full. And before you ask, we are also no longer selling hunting licenses.Don’t do this, lady. You won’t like me when I’m angry.
:
I’m looking for a miner named Griff.Oh yeah, we’re also doing this. I won’t blame you for forgetting. If I had been doing this blind I probably would’ve.
Protocol Officer:
Griff? Uh... there’s no Griff here. Never heard of him. No, I… I don’t remember a single Griff on the Czerka Corporation payroll.Wow, he sure left an impression.
We can use persuade or force persuasion to deal with it, but we can also just shell 20 creds and be done with it. This is what she has to say about the grifter (oh BioWare, you are so clever with names, it’s like you are doing this on purpose.
Protocol Officer:
We hired that Twi’lek some time ago. Not a good worker according to his crew chief: always complaining and faking injuries to get out of work. He entered false time sheets and slept through his shifts. We even suspected him of stealing Czerka Corporation supplies, although we could never prove it.:
Yes, that sounds like him.Protocol Officer:
We would’ve fired him but we needed workers. It would have been better for him if he had been fired. Then the sand people wouldn’t have gotten him.:
You mean he’s dead?Protocol Officer:
He was lost in a Sand People raid we suffered not too long ago. There were prisoners taken, but our rescue parties never found anyone alive. In the it just wasn’t cost effective to keep searching. All miners sign a waiver absolving Czerka Corporation of liability in these circumstances.:
Did the sand people kill Griff or not!I AM NOT SHOUTING!
Protocol Officer:
We didn’t find his body so we have to assume he was taken prisoner. Whether he’s still alive, I couldn’t say.So it was a Disney-esque death. Huh.
Protocol Officer:
That’s all I can tell you. I shouldn’t even have said this much; this is all privileged corporate information. I could lose my job!:
Is there some type of reward for saving him?Protocol Officer:
As I said, all employees have signed waivers absolving Czerka Corporation of any financial liability if this occurs. It is the industry standard. I suppose you could apply for special dispensation from Czerka Corporation Representative Kisosk on Corsuscant. Business hours only, please.This is how you say “ha ha no” in corporate.
Anyway, asking about the licenses has her tell us there are too many people “cavorting” outside the walls. But there may be a way…
She wants us to
massacre go Anakin on the sand people living nearby. If we agree, we get the license, plus a bounty for each of their gaffi sticks, and an extra for their chieftain’s stick.
:
Why pay for the gaffi sticks? Why not their heads?You thought blood money was an euphemism?
Protocol Officer:
Which would you rather have dumped on your office floor? Besides, they are ceremonial weapons unique to each warrior. It’s just as good.Yeah, it’s not like they can be falsified or anything. This better pay more than monkey hunting though, or things won’t end well for Czerka. Either way, we agree to it because we are too light-sided.
Protocol Officer:
Excellent. Now, just so we understand each other, this is an enforceable contract. Czerka Corporation takes this very seriously.Wait, but we didn’t sign anything. Are all contracts purely verbal in The Galaxy Far Far Away?
There’s this guy who basically runs another general store. Trying to grill him for info will just end up with us being pointed to the nameless protocol officer. With that done, we go outside, only to be interrupted by an angry hippie bent on preventing us from completing the neutral challenge.
Yeah, hello to you too.
:
Is this about Czerka wanting the sand people chieftain killed?Thank you anonymous writer, thank you for writing just Czerka.
Duros:
So, you are the killer that they hired. Just going to walk out there and wipe them out? I’d expect no less from fools. The sand people aren’t animals. I’ve watched them, and they are intelligent.This never stopped any
murderhobo RPG protagonist before.
Duros:
There must be a way to peacefully stop the attacks… I know it. But no one will try, of course. You can’t even leave the city without Czerka approval and they want the sand people dead.:
Why would you know any better?Duros:
Perhaps I’m no expert on diplomatic situations, but I know when there is a lack of due care for the environment and the residents of it.What would be the Tatooine equivalent of a Green Party anyway? Brown Party?
Duros:
What would you have done? To the sand people, it must have seemed like an invasion. There were no negotiations for territory or resources.Keep in mind Duros are pretty much a race of ayy lamao.
Duros:
I don’t think the killing has been justified, but as a conservationist I’m hoping someone at least tries to talk this out.And now he shows his true colours.
Anyway, we can ask about why no one has tried talking it out and he admits no one knows their language. Also a Jedi showed up and tried, but it “ended in blood”. We can actually find the body later.
He mentions (THIS IS A HINT, PLAYER, ARE YOU GETTING THIS HINT?) that maybe with a protocol droid you could do it, and what do you know there is an unique one right here in town on the droid shop!
We just say we’ll think about it and he walks away.
But since we bothered to ask about Griff, let’s check on Mission.
:
I want to talk to you about your brother.:
Talk? What is there to talk about? Those sandpeople [sic][/i] took my brother prisoner! Griff may be a slime but we have to go rescue him! We can’t just leave him with those… those… those monsters![/i]
Something, something, Skywalker, something.
:
Don’t worry Mission – we’ll get him back.:
I knew I could count on you! There’s definite fringe benefits to being friends with a Jedi!And since we’re resolving sidequests…
:
It’s not that I look forward to seeing her, I just can’t help but wonder what she wants. But… perhaps we have better things to do.And since we bought the damn skull plate…
Not what I expected, didn’t even know he had this dialogue.
:
I have something to sell you.Fazza Utral:
So I see. That’s the biggest desert wraid skull plate I’ve seen in a season. Whoever got that was a skilled hunter. I’ll give a premium price on that one. I’ve a buyer that put in a special request. Does 500 credits sound fair?That’s how much we paid for it. Somewhere, a space monkey is laughing.
By the way? No persuade or force persuade or bargaining or anything. Take it or leave it. So it’s literally free light side points. Damn it and damn me for not checking beforehand.
We also get threatened by a Jawa.
Could it be?
Yes, it is. Swoop racing is back. We can talk to the racers, but most are jerks. That’s ok, though, since we can be jerks too!
Also this lucky guy.
Of course, any remotely semi-legal thing has to have a Hutt nearby.
Motta:
Let’s have a look at you. Hmm… just a human… nothing really special. You race? Maybe own a swoop.:
I raced on Taris. I won the season opener there.Motta:
Ha! You and twelve other liars. Planet blows up, race records are lost, and now everyone is a champion.:
My friend tells the truth. I am a Jedi… are you going to imply that I am lying, as well?Motta:
Ho ho! Now you are champion and travel with Jedi? Does the story get bigger with every telling?Motta is the best jerk in Tatooine.
:
Nobody here can compare with the racers you rode against on Taris. You’ll wipe every record from the books on this backwater track!Actually, Taris is the easiest race in the game due to being mandatory.
Motta:
Okay, okay, enough of the funny stuff. You think you’re a racer, you’ll be one. You have your own bike?:
I have my own bike stored on my ship.Motta:
You got a bike, then you can race. I don’t care about experience, so long as you can get out on the track. And if you crash and burn, that’s your problem. I just need warm bodies to pad the roster between the pros.Gotta pay 100 creds to get in, though. I pity the inexperienced player with no cash (read: me when I first played this). He also offers us a job on the side. He has a star racer, see, but he wants more. An exclusivity contract where Motta pays for expenses but takes a pretty big cut of the winnings.
:
I talked to Motta about you.Nico:
Did you? I’m not sure that it’s any of your business. Top racers keep to their own. I don’t know you. Maybe if you were better on the track I might feel like talking about it. Someone who can turn out the fast times might understand.So we gotta race. First race has a time of 0:23:90 we need to beat. I make it in about 22 seconds.
Oh yeah, he also pays us in racing bonds instead of actual cash. They’re worth about 60 each, but only once per race tier. The time we beat was Garm’s , the rodian we talked with.
Still not enough for our boy Nico it seems. I didn’t bother screencapping the second tier, but I won anyway.
We can be an asshole to Yuka Rill here, whose time we beat in tier 2.
Yuka:
You don’t look like anyone I owe. Stop fooling with me.:
[Force Persuade] You know you need to pay me.Yuka:
[Success] I know I need to pay you. It’s obvious my old loans have caught up to me. I knew it would happen.:
*whisper* The Force should not be used for profit and personal gain. As Jedi we should be above such things.Yuka:
Here, this is everything I have. Now just leave me to figure out how I’m going to pay for track time.Dark side!
Garm:
Uh, I didn’t mean anything. I don’t want any trouble.:
[Force Persuade] Go away. *Now.*Garm:
I’m not waiting around for you to snap. I’m no fighter. I just race.Sweet karma meter.