PART 25 – Growling Simulator 2015
Last time in Knights of the Neutral Republic, we stood up to the Man and got some nice money out of it. This time, we must face our worst trial yet: having more than a single Wookiee in a single conversation.
Why, Bioware, why did you include “Grrrowwlll!!” in the subtitles? Why?
Wookiee guard:
Especially when you bring filth such as this with you. This madclaw has no place here.:
Who are you to question my place? You follow Chuundar into the arms of outsiders.Wookiee guard:
And yet you travel with outsiders yourself! Speak no more! Chuundar will decide if you are permitted to enter the Shadowlands.:
What was that about, Zaalbar?:
We should proceed to the village. I’m sure we will both get answers there.Again. WHY?
:
Stand aside! This human is with me and I want access to the home of my people!Behold! The first and last moment Zaalbar acts like a true badass instead of either moping about or just being the token Wookiee.
Wookiee guard:
You have no rights here, mad-claw! This human should not have brought this taint upon our land! You must answer to Chuundar!:
What does he mean, Zaalbar? What taint?:
He means me. I am the taint that you have brought back.Wookiee guard:
Shut up! GROWWLL! You are nameless with dishonor, mad-claw! Yours is a foulness that disgusts me!Just imagine me retching in disgust every single time I have to transcribe an actual growl.
Wookiee guard:
RRaaaghh! [sic]
Enough talk! You and the outcast mad-claw will be taken to Chuundar now!After this… enriching conversation, we are immediately transporter to Glorious Leader Kim Chuundar-un.
Chuundar:
Ah, brother Zaalbar. You’ve been exiled a long time. You shouldn’t speak in that tone. Things are different now.If only Chuundar didn’t speak in animal noises, his characterization could’ve actually been awesome, since he is perhaps one of two carpets who isn’t a clone of Chewbacca. (MSWord actually recognizes Chewbacca as a word!)
Chuundar:
You are a mad-claw without honor. You have no voice among your own people. I, on the other hand, am Chieftain.:
A nice nest of lies you have constructed.Chuundar:
You may talk, but no one will believe you. I’ve had a long time to guide what my people think. They trust me, the mighty Chuundar. Even with my brother insane and father enslaved, I rose to protect my people despite it all.:
Father was enslaved? “Mighty Chuundar”? What are you talking about? You were the runt!Chuundar:
I am no runt! *ahem* Like I said, Zaalbar, a lot has changed in your years away. We will discuss this soon enough.:
What do you want? Why drag us here?Chuundar:
I haven’t killed Zaalbar because he is my brother, and I hoped he and I could come to an agreement. You are irrelevant. I may be able to put you to use on a menial task. Zaalbar will have to stay here, of course.:
What is this task?Chuundar:
A simple thing. Another Wookiee has suffered the same fate as Zaalbar, gone mad and been exiled. He now lurks the Shadowlands. More importantly, he’s pestering my Czerka allies during their Shadowland expeditions. It is not good for business.:
He’s standing against you. The first of many, perhaps?Chuundar:
No one will follow a mad-claw. He is merely a nuisance. Besides, he cowers in the Shadowlands. My people know nothing of him.:
I want to ask about the Shadowlands.Chuundar:
We only enter the Shadowlands for ritual hunting. I’d leave the troublemaker down there but he has proven too good at surviving. He has managed to linger a number of years, cowering in his madness and shame. You are expendable. You will remove him.:
I’ll consider what you’ve said. I’ll go now.Chuundar:
I’ll allow you access to the Shadowlands. You will track and kill this insane Wookiee, and maybe then you will earn my favor. Zaalbar stays here to ensure your loyalty. The Czerka would never let me hold you, but they don’t care what I do with fellow Wookiees.:
You’re a fool. You’re making the job harder.Chuundar:
What made you think I wanted this to be easy for you? Besides, you won’t need him. My people are trained to understand you. I tell them it’s to better understand the enemy. They think it will make the Czerka easier to fight. Actually it makes them easier to obey. Remember, you can’t beat me here. No one would dare oppose me to join with an outsider or an exile.:
You are wrong, brother. Someone would.:
Who are you talking about, Zaalbar?Chuundar:
Do you speak of Freyyr, our father? Why? He was the one that ordered you exiled when you attacked me. He went as mad as you when he finally discovered the slavers. He dared challenge them alone and has not been seen since. That was years ago. Let him go, Zaalbar. I rule now. I’ll take the Wookiees forward, but there are prices to pay.:
Don’t listen, Zaalbar. It’s not worth it.Chuundar:
No more words, outsider. I’ve given my orders. I can’t hold you here, but Zaalbar will stay until you kill the mad-claw in the Shadowlands.:
I don’t like leaving someone behind, but I guess we don’t have a choice.Chuundar:
The guards will let you pass now. Leave the village through the northwest and follow the platform to the south and then east. You’ll eventually see where Gorwooken waits for you. He’ll lower you to the forest floor. Go.Well, that was a lot of plot dumped on us by Glorious Leader. It also means we (temporarily) lost Zaalbar as a party member. To keep up the furry quota for the planet, Juhani will be replacing him.
Now that we are outside, we can speak to the generic Wookiees wandering about. So might as well show some of their dialogue.
:
I’ll be going, then.Guard:
Return when Chuundar’s task is complete. That is what the Chieftain wants.Wookiee:
Chuundar allows you to be here, outsider. You would be dead if he didn’t.Wookiee:
I won’t speak to you, outsider. Chuundar allows too many of you here.Wookiee:
Chuundar may tolerate you, but do not expect the same from all of us.Wookiee:
Rorworr has not returned to the village in days. If slavers took him, they had a fight on their hands.Here’s a shot from the village to show off how it looks like:
:
I wanted to ask you about Kashyyyk.Jaarak:
I have nothing to say to you. Go and learn what you can while bleeding our planet of its people and honor.Woorwill:
Should we ask if they’ve seen Rorworr? They understand us. Most outsiders don’t bother to learn our language.Jaarak:
I will not speak to them and neither will you, Woorwill. I won’t allow it.:
I’m Deth Sord, and I’m here with Chuundar’s permission. Show a little respect.We are leaning too far towards the light side, so expect me to be an asshole.
Jaarak:
You are an outsider. Your kind have done more damage here than any one of you could ever hope to fix. You taint us… and bring out the worst in everything. You will get no respect from me.:
I must leave.Jaarak:
Good riddance. Don’t come back, outsider.Woorwill:
What are you doing here? Have you come to laugh at us? Come to gloat about how many of us you take? Can you even understand me?:
I understand you. I’m not here as a slaver.Woorwill:
Then why are you here?:
Can I ask you some questions?Woorwill:
Oh, please don’t . I haven’t been paying attention to anything since Rorworr went missing. Do you know anything about that? I hope not. I hope you slavers didn’t get him. N-not that you are a slaver. I’m sorry. I’m very tired. I haven’t slept much lately.:
Who was Rorworr?Woorwill:
Rorworr? Oh, he’s the greatest! He’s led hunting parties to the Shadowlands, and even fought outsiders! Slavers… like you probably are. He’s taught me a lot. He said I could grow up as strong as him, that I’d fight you too. I will, too. I will.:
When did Rorworr go missing?Jaarak:
Stop bothering the boy, outsider! He doesn’t need you taunting him.Woorwill:
But what if they know something? Maybe they could help?Jaarak:
An outsider? Help? Look at you, Woorwill. Outsiders do nothing but steal and lie and taint the best among us! Outsider, you talk to me if you must bother us at all. Leave him alone.:
Goodbye.Woorwill:
Goodbye, I guess.Sadly, no points earned either way there.
Oh boy.
:
Can I ask you some questions?Worrroznor:
I’m sorry. Like most of my village, I’ve been preoccupied by these troubled times. I don’t really want to speak with you. Well, not unless you can tell me where young Rorworr is. Do you keep track of slaves taken?:
I am no slaver.Worrroznor:
I have no way of knowing one way or another. You‘ll excuse me if I don’t take you at your word.:
When did Rorworr go missing?Worrroznor:
It could be ten days or more. He was planning a hunt, and nobody seems to know when he was leaving. He is now overdue. I don’t know where to start. It is strange…:
Why do you think it is strange?Worrroznor:
I don’t believe he was taken by slavers. Their slave transports haven’t been seen around here. If it wasn’t slavers, perhaps he fell in the Shadowlands… but he knew them well. I would search for him, but I don’t know where to start. My days of hunting the lower forest are behind me.:
I could look for him.Worrroznor:
You could. I’ve never had an offer of help from an outsider. I’ll reserve my judgment for when I see results.:
I’ll be going now.Worrroznor:
Farewell then. Bacca keep you well.And so we return to the walkways now that we had our fill of animal noises.
The guard will let us pass now.
Guard:
Gorwooken climbed to the basket from the upper branches, but you will have to walk, outsider. The path is seldom used. There may be vermin nesting along it. Be ready to fight.Go back to the last update and look at one of the screenshots of me fighting the wildlife, and you’ll get the idea of what lies ahead.
We also level up, where I notice we are not morally ambiguous enough.
Oh, great, it speaks in third person.
:
Don’t test me, Wookie. I go where I wish.Chorrawl:
You can’t push me into battle, outsider. I know what happens to Wookiees that are said to be “difficult”. I won’t be your trophy, dead or as a slave. Leave me. You have no place here.:
I am Deth Sord, and I act for Chuundar.Chorrawl:
Chuundar! Bah! Why should I care if you act for him when he does not act for us?:
Show me proper respect or you’ll regret it!Chorrawl:
Your kind threaten my very planet. I live with it daily. Why should your words now goad me into battle? No, I won’t fight you. At best, my warrior comrades would slaughter you, only for ships to burn our homes later. Go away, rabid fool. I won’t listen to you anymore.Being an asshole not only makes him refuse to answer, but we also get NO DARK SIDE POINTS, DAMN YOU BIOWARE!
Gorwooken:
Walk with care! Only our bravest return from these lands. Your soft feet are a barely tolerated insult.:
Just unlock the thing and lower me down.Gorwooken:
The descent is long. Be still, or we will attract… unwelcome visitors.I know this update is shorter than most, but I want to cut it here anyway because it would be pretty abrupt otherwise.