PART 26 – Space Monkey’s Revenge
Kashyyyk ShadowlandsWhere we last left off, the Glorious Leader of the People’s Republic of
Kashyyyk Edean sent us on a mission to kill a dissident while keeping Zaalbar hostage. Now we descend onto the Shadowlands to continue our mission and maybe find a Star Map while we’re at it.
Oh hey, looks who’s here.
Calo Nord:
You got Lucky on Taris; the Sith attack saved you from a quick and gruesome death. But I promise you, the Sith won’t be getting in my way this time!:
You travelled a long way just to die, Calo!Calo Nord:
Let’s go, boys... it’s show time!Calo will always attack you on the first planet after Dantooine, and always with a group of goons. I don’t know if it is always natives of the planet in question since I’ve always done Kashyyyk or Tatooine first.
Like the last time, he deals a ton of damage, but is fragile. Unlike last time, he has no Davik to tank for him. You can tell by the above picture, where you can see his body.
He has some nice loot.
This fight is also the trigger for Juhani’s next conversation. I guess killing Calo was a bonding moment.
:
Well… I suppose I have not talked very much about the Jedi I met back home. They, all of them, were so… invigorating.:
Invigorating?:
They were so very alive? So full of hope and energy and zeal. In retrospect I can see it was a little bit tragic…:
What do you mean?:
These Jedi were going to fight the Mandalorians just after they had invaded. Many of those Jedi perished in the fighting. But to us, they seemed invincible, especially their leader, who they talked about all the time. Paragons of light and justice, sweeping away all iniquity before them. It was like looking at gods…:
If that was the case, they seem to be misrepresenting themselves.:
I was merely using poetic licence.Our hero doesn’t have enough intelligence (or anything other than speed really) to understand such matters.
:
Those Jedi… They were enthralling… Everyone wanted to just touch them. Some people thought it would bring them luck. Not that the peace they brought lasted very long…:
Did they leave?:
Of course they left! They had a war to go fight, so that we would not all be killed by those psychotic Mandalorians! The Jedi left. The people grew complacent. Those who had been wronged saw their chance at revenge… and so the cycle continues. The oppressed became the new generation of oppressors. The human oppressed, that is… The non-humans were never treated well in any case… We felt the brunt of both administrations…:
Was it that bad?:
Of course it was! They took their frustrations and hates out on us because the people they wanted had already fled or were too well proctected! But no one looks out for the injustices we suffered! Oh, no! But… I am sorry, I should not have outbursts like that.:
It is alright.:
No, it is not. Anger can lead to the dark side and I must be ever careful that I do not fall back into those ways. I… I thank you for your support. My outburst was uncalled for, but you did not lash back at me. You are a much better Jedi than I, it would seem. But let us not speak more of this now. We should continue on our journey. Perhaps later we will talk again.There wasn’t much commentary to be done there, really.
On the other hand, new enemy!
Also these things:
You can’t see them well here because they are a bastard to get close to, but are passive. Look a bit like monkeys. Space monkeys. Thing is, though: they make some really annoying noises, and they are loud. So the whole time you are in the start of the Shadowlands, you’ll have to deal with not being able to hear anything else until you move onwards.
Once you move a little bit further…
Action!
Jedi!
Excitement!
Animal murder!
Baldness!
:
What, do I have to fight you as well now?You can probably notice that I switched to Jedi robes from the armour. I probably won’t be equipping armour anymore, with perhaps a few notable exceptions.
:
I’m Jolee. Jolee Bindo. Follow me to my camp and we’ll talk a bit.:
You use a lightsaber in battle. Are you a Jedi?:
Ah, don’t start fawning just yet, I’m too old for it.Jolee is the best senile
Jedi not-Jedi.
:
*Sigh* I… I know a few things, but we can talk about it at my camp. Keep close. It’s nearby, under a log. Yeah, I live lime some burrowing rodent. I fought the Sith… now look at me. Hmph!You should keep pace with him, because it is actually easy to lose him and end up having to search the whole area for his camp. But I was too preoccupied with getting a decent picture of…
Space monkey!
Anyway, it turns out I more or less remembered where he was.
:
No offense, but I don’t have much time.:
You’ll have nothing but time if you don’t take what help you can. I’ve been here for many years. I know things. Remember that. My days of glory are behind me, but… perhaps there is something I can do for you. You must have questions.You know me too well.
:
I need information about problems on Kashyyyk.:
Yes, among the Wookiees. Intriguing creatures. I like that they have little patience for bureaucrats. But of course, even here there are hidden things that manipulate.:
Do you know a missing Wookiee called Rorworr?:
It is a very unfortunate matter. It will end in shame and sorrow. You will find Rorworr down here. And more. I have witnessed a number of happenings, but I have left them for others to sort out.:
You aren’t being very helpful.:
I wasn’t aware I had to be.If you don’t love Jolee yet, then get out of my LP.
:
Look, events like these reveal much about the people involved. I’m well past that introspective tripe. I’m not saying that outside help isn’t needed. I just… well… I didn’t want to make anyone mad while I didn’t have a way off the planet. We’ll talk more about that momentarily.:
What do you know of Chuundar?:
Czerka Corporation was smart to put him in power. He’s as good at destroying Wookiee culture as dropping corpses full of Ardroxian Flu.Thank you, wiki. I really needed to know the carpet village we just left has the moronic name of Rwookrrorro. Simultaneously, I am surprised there isn’t a whole monograph on the topic.
:
Will you work for him or against him, I wonder? I will be interested to see.He is like Yoda if Yoda was an (still awesome) asshole.
:
Have you seen a crazed Wookiee in the Shadowlands?:
Maddened with grief, perhaps, but not crazed. I helped him pass to the lower forests where only a Wookiee could follow. Some other matters will determine if you can follow. There is a barrier that… well, we’ll talk of that more in a moment.:
I want to ask about you.:
Ah, what is there to tell? Jolee Bindo is the crazy old man in the dangerous woods. I’m content with the impression I give.:
You muttered something about fighting Sith?:
Did I? You have annoyingly good ears. It doesn’t matter. Those days are gone. Leave them in their graves. I’ve seen my share of the dark and the light. And frankly, both extremes annoy me.That’s right, dear reader! He is neutral!
:
Of course… I have felt the rumblings of change…:
I do not feel the taint of the dark side within you, old man. I sense you are a servant of the light, whether you will admit it or not.Damn it, don’t ruin him for me!
:
Well, I assure you, I see more grey than dark or light. I’m just a stubborn old man, tired of the foolishness of others.:
Have you any knowledge of Star Maps?:
Now why would you be asking about that, hmm? Don’t answer. I knew that had to be why you were here. The problems of a few Wookiees don’t amount to anything before the concerns of the Jedi. No, you are here for the map.:
Get to the point, old man.:
Kashyyyk is an interesting place, more so than anyone suspects. If Czerka Corporation knew, heh, the planet would be a strip mine. The Wookiees have their legends that they were not always here, but it is more than that. The trees themselves are strangers.:
I don’t understand. Can you be more specific?:
What I’m saying is that there are literally walls in your way, and you won’t find what you need without my help… and my help has a price. You must do a task for me, and then allow me to join with you. I will then remove certain barriers in your path.:
Can’t I just pay you? I hate jumping hoops.:
Oh, save it. I know this sounds absurd, but I’m old and entitled to work you around a bit. Besides, the test is simple. Since they began expanding in the Shadowlands, the Czerka have left me alone, for the most part. Until recently, anyway. A group of them set up camp not far from here. Poachers is all they are. I’d like them removed from this place.:
Why would you want to join up with me?:
You presumably have a ship. I’ve seen all I wish to here. Isn’t that enough? I mean, I’m really sick of the trees. And perhaps your destiny might show me something new. You never know.:
Where are they? How many men?:
They are not that far northeast of here. There is usually five in the area, as far as I can see. The Captain of the lot is the one that earned my ire. Mishandle my garden, will he? Hmph!Is this how Jedi say “Get off my lawn!”?
:
I will look into it.Jolee:
Good. Return to me here and we will see how you have done. Shoo. Shoo!It’s really hard to see, but there is a dead Wookiee behind the katarn.
This datapad card contains a contract to trade weapons for slaves, and a manifest of goods already delivered. It would seem that Rorworr had sold a number of Wookiees previously, and intended to do so again.
Looks like the murder case has been taken care of.
These are the poachers who messed up Jolee’s garden.
Dern:
I don’t make deals and I don’t persuade easily, so go back topside. Mess with my profits and I’ll see you dead.:
I paid the docking fee. Who cares where I go?Dern:
So you’re playing tourist? That isn’t smart. The Shadowlands are all business. Mess around and you’ll end up dead. That said, if you want to make some credits while you’re looking to die, I might have a job for you.Tell me more. Unfortunately, working for this scumbag actually doesn’t give dark side points.
:
I might be interested in some work.Dern:
I could use an extra hand. A couple of men have gone missing. If I lose many more I’ll have to close up shop. We are hunting the little simians, the tach. They have a gland that acts as a stimulant when powdered. I figure I’ve got two or three wealthy years to butcher the lot of them. You want in before I make them extinct?:
What does the job pay?Dern:
I really can’t quote a price. Depends on the market. I give fair value for each one, rest assured. That promise will have to do.:
I want the job. How do I hunt these tach?Dern:
All right then, I’ll set you up. First you need to be able to draw them out. It’s easy. I’ll spray you with this scent… it drives them crazy. They can’t help but attack you, even if it’s a hopeless fight. Then you just carve them up. There’s a big fleshy bulb in their brains that you want to scoop out. You can’t miss it. I’d feel guilty if the money wasn’t so good. Come back when you’ve got the glands and I’ll pay you.The journal update for this mentions that “Jolee won’t be happy” about this little deal, but he actually never says anything about that.
:
I’m leaving.Dern:
Good. I’m not down here to direct traffic.The real reason I’m doing this? No more annoying noises from these stupid space monkeys.
While hunting, I find something interesting.
This is actually fully voiced!
Droid:
Playback: “I don’t get it. That merchant said there was salvage down here. We need Matton to work the sensors.”
Playback: “When he gets back we’ll… wait… I’m getting something. Oh, it’s Eli. Good. Maybe he’ll point us in the right direction.”
Playback: “Eli! What the…! But you got your money, you doublecrossing snake! We had a deal (blaster sounds)”Asking the droid what happened will just have it replay what I just transcribed. In case you forgot, Eli was the merchant back at the Czerka base.
:
I’ll scrap you and take what I can.Droid:
Shutting down… primary systems… failing…:
[You start with the droid’s head, removing it and placing it in your pack. An energy discharge flows through the remaining parts.]And finally, in the last part of this zone…
[This is obviously one of the barriers to your progress that Jolee was speaking of. If he was here, he would allow you to pass it.]Turns out those barriers are actual barriers.
Anyway, time to cash in on all the simian murder.
:
I’ve got a tach gland to sell you.Dern:
I’ll take whatever you have. Keep it up and we’ll both be rich. At least until we bleed this planet dry, hahaha!He gives us 170 credits. For all the glands. This is horrible.
Dern:
Is that old hermit Jolee trying to talk you into doing his dirty work? We’ve spent too much on setting up just to walk away. As long as the sonic emitters keep the preds[sic]
away and I’ve got bodies to guard the perimeter, we’re staying right here. I mean, if I can put up with my own worthless guards complaining about this place, Jolee whining through you is nothing.:
You’re just a Czerka slaver. Nothing special.Dern:
I don’t need this kind of garbage from you. Watch your mouth. I’m the only law there is down here. If you’ve got something to say, get on with it. Otherwise, leave me alone. I’ve credits to earn.We could tamper with the emitters to make him go away, but not only we need the dark side points, but
170 credits!
:
I should just kill you. No one will ever know.Dern:
All right, I’m done talking with you. You’ve got under my skin one too many times! I’ll bury you down here!170 CREDITS!
At any rate, we’ve thoroughly explored this section of the shadowlands, so all that is left is returning to Jolee… which will be left for next update.