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Author Topic: How to smile more  (Read 2402 times)

3man75

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How to smile more
« on: February 04, 2015, 11:20:18 pm »

So lately I've been hanging out with a friend who keeps pointing out how depressed I look. Which although is true I'd rather hide it better then be a debbie downer or that guy who's not invited because he ruins the mood with his presence.

Any advice?

I've also thought about taking happy meds but there all prescription stuff and very expensive. If anyone has something to suggest that isn't life damaging I'd like to hear it too.

After 20 years I'd love to get out of  my depressive look and feel.
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Levi

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2015, 12:24:22 am »

In the mornings I like to twist my face into joker-like grin to stretch them face muscles.  Seems to help.
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LordBucket

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2015, 01:40:02 am »

Any advice?

There is a school of thought that claims that mental states and body posture correlate. If you're happy, you smile. If you smile...you'll tend to be happy. This is probably simply Pavlovian conditioning. If you spend a lot of time with your body in a specific position while in a specific mental state, you may tend to associate the two. One may tend to lead to the other.

But, when you're happy there's a lot more going on with your body than simply the smile.

For example, try this: Hunch over in your chair, hang your head so that you're looking at your thighs, hug yourself tightly with both arms, hold your breath and squint. Now, try smiling. Do you feel happy? Of course not. "Just smile" is only a tiny piece of the body language your brain probably associates with happy.

Now instead, Stand up. Get up out of your chair, move away from the computer so you have room to stretch, spread your legs about shoulder width apart, lock your knees and cross both forearms in front of your chest...now throw your hands into the air! Palms open wide, chest pushed up and out and lead your head back with your nose to the air. Inhale and spread your locked arms from directly above your ahead slowly out to your sides until they make a V shape. Exhale. Continuing breathing, deeply, not shallowly.

Now smile.

Not a stupid silly grin. Start with a small grin. Examine closely how you feel. Regardless of whether you feel happy, do you definitely feel different than you did when you were hunched over in your chair hugging yourself?

If the answer is yes, then you have just demonstrated to yourself that a simple adjustment of body posture can have direct and immediate affects on yourmental state. Now it's just a matter of identifying which postures you personally associate with which mental tates, and adjusting your posture acordingly.

You may find that if you get into the habit of assuming postures that you tend to associate with more cheerful and pleasing mental states, your general state of mind on an ongoing basis will follow.

Or you could simply sign up for a Hatha Yoga class. Remember, if you did both exercises I described and if while doing them you felt a difference in your mental state while in each posture, then you know this works.

Kestrel

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2015, 09:37:54 am »

I'm always happy, smiling, laughing.  But I get frustrated or upset from time to time.  When that happens, I meditate for 10-20 minutes until I've identified what's causing my distress, and worked out an action plan to alleviate it.  Life is complicated and not all problems can be solved.  Those problems you probably just have to accept as a norm and find a way to emotionally cope with them or even laugh at their absurd triviality.  Problems that can be solved should be.  Take control of your life.  You'll feel much better just knowing that you're in the driver's seat whereas most people are napping as passengers.
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tonnot98

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2015, 10:20:55 am »

-snip-
I smiled just reading this.

Also, I think looking at some "You Laugh You Lose" threads on 4chan and other forums is pretty nice to put you in a better state of mind. It works for me, at least.
"I really, really like this picture!"
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i2amroy

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #5 on: February 05, 2015, 01:08:53 pm »

Interestingly enough there have actually been several studies that have linked the actual physical movements of smiling to an overall increased level of happiness. It's actually true that forcing yourself to smile more (even just small grins) regardless of how bad you actually feel makes you feel better in the long run. :P

That said yeah, there's a lot in body language as well. Just a few simple things like standing/sitting up straight and looking forwards instead of downwards go a huge way to making a person look happier.
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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2015, 04:41:25 pm »

I've also thought about taking happy meds but there all prescription stuff and very expensive. If anyone has something to suggest that isn't life damaging I'd like to hear it too.
If by happy meds you mean anti-depressants then lemme just say that anti-depressants alone probably won't be enough to magically make you smile more or be happier. That's what I thought, but after being on a "happy med" for a couple months it's really just an equalizer for mood. You aren't utterly depressed all the time, but you aren't super maniacally happy unless you make the psychological effort to think happier and change your attitude and stuff. i'd describe it as just feeling "fine" rather than "depressed". And I still have bad moods some days even when I'm taking the med. Your mileage may vary, basically. I will say that there's anti-depressants that aren't that expensive. I'm taking a generic brand that's 5 or 6 dollars. You'd be better off talking to a pharmacist or doctor about the availability and prices of anti-depressants in you area rather than taking my word for it.

If you do try meds make sure you try to improve your psychology too to get the most out of it.
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acetech09

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2015, 02:21:28 am »

snip

Truths have been spoken.

A doctor started prescribing a close friend antidepressants without even suggesting any plans for natural emotional development. If I knew that doctor's name, I'd get up, walk to his office, and punch him in the face. Then maybe flip his table, if it wasn't one of those one-ton mahogany jobs.

I might just be particularly sensitive to ADs, though. I tried them for a bit, and they made me feel better, but I hated every minute of it. never again.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2015, 02:33:42 am »

Getting a couple of hooks and using them stretch the corners of your mouth out towards your ears should work.
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DJ

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2015, 02:41:42 am »

Find a stoner buddy, light up and watch funny shit on YouTube. You won't just smile, you'll laugh out loud. Side effects include but are not limited to weight gain and loss of ambition.
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tonnot98

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2015, 02:21:20 pm »

Find a stoner buddy, light up and watch funny shit on YouTube. You won't just smile, you'll laugh out loud. Side effects include but are not limited to weight gain and loss of ambition.
I must agree with this, actually. My brother that used to have a ton of anger issues actually mellows out for like 2-3 days after lighting up a blunt with his friends.
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Professor Lemur

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2015, 04:08:00 pm »

Watch this video whenever you're sad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VSR4_tAYvw
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hector13

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #12 on: February 06, 2015, 06:37:01 pm »

Tell your friend to piss off, this is your natural look :P

As has been said previously, ADs aren't happy pills, they just... nullify emotions, somewhat.

Anyway, it's best not to hide depression, should that be the case, because that just makes it worse. Emotions festering away inside you unexpressed, negative ones especially, because they just build up until they explode, and you don't get to choose when that happens. Find someone to talk to, whether it's a friend or on B12 or a therapist or whatever, it will at least let you know there are people out there who care. which is a nice thing to have with depression. AD's shouldn't be a first port of call, they can be fucking nasty, but they can help you with the motivation in actually dealing with the depression through other means (therapy and such) if that's a difficulty.

If people aren't wanting to hang around with you because you "look depressed" that's their problem. They should want to spend time with you because you're awesome, not because of what emotions your face expresses.
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tonnot98

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #13 on: February 06, 2015, 07:19:52 pm »

Watch this video whenever you're sad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VSR4_tAYvw
...I like cats.
I started giggling from the cute-ness before the 5-second mark.

My face hurts from smiling that big.
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Yoink

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Re: How to smile more
« Reply #14 on: February 06, 2015, 08:35:38 pm »

The thing I wanna know is how to smile less.
The stupidest things make me smile, my smile is butt-ugly, and once my face decides it's gonna smile it's near impossible to stop. :(
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