Fill out the paperwork.
You fill out the paperwork and hand them back to the boss. He looks them over and spots a few places you did not sign.
"Ya didn't read it ovah, didya? What evah. Just sign here, here and intitials here. You'll get full access ta teminate ya subordinates." You look at him confused, and all your boss does is smile wider. "Welcome ta tha gang. Its time ta get ya hands dirty." He hands you a six shot with a 100 on it. And then the car stops. You can hear the ocean.
go to the hospital for prosthetics
You attempt to brake open your cage with only your last remaining arm.
(-1 Ninja guards, -1 single handed, -2 blood loss) [9-4] (giving this to you since you technically rolled a success.) You pull at the cage and it doesnt budge but the bar does. And you pull with all your might, yanking the bar out of place, and throwing it dead into the gaurds chest. He turns around to display his still beating heart, run through and hanging out of his body, though bleeding from the cuts and fragments of shattered ribs and a large metal stake. Before he can scream, he dies. You have a home free stretch to the hospital. (+1 injured, +2 home free, -1 mofia member, +1 famous cook) [1+3] you barely make it to the hospital and pass out. You come back to outside, though, not where you were. You are in a makeshift bed. You have a wooden leg, poorly formed, poorly designed, and a long, old spatula for a hand. Neither fit well, the first to short, the second far to long. (-1 to cooking endeavors, -2 to quick movements) Ah well. its for the best. You couldn't have afforded the good stuff anyway. At least this was freem
Go hunt for some "fresh meat." Heh. Heh.
[1] You go off to find something worth your time, to shoot at. . . . or is it someone you want to hire to do your bidding? Either way, you dont know, nor care, you just want to shoot something. SO you go to the first place you can think of. The bar in which you know people frequent. You pull out your machine gun, and fire. The sounds of things braking and people screaming is quite gratifying. Its lovely, really. YOu find a nice place in front of a dumpster, to hide, and then you see several of members of the mafia come out. none of them are hurt, but all of them are pissed, and they see you. worst part is, they have the same tattoo you had to get to get your current job.
buy a dishwashing machine out of personal funds, install it in kitchen, place dishes in it, start it. go to bosses office and put $200 in a sealed envelope with 'chain manager' written on it, signed by you. Recruit troubled young kids into the jobs that are... vacant
(-2 not a manager, +1 using your own funds, +1 mafia connections)[7+0] you use what knowledge you can and call in the appropriate contacts. The Dishwasher drains out your personal funds, but you buy it, and arrange to have it installed. you are left with a few hundred dollars, and you seal it into an envelope with your name on it, entitled to the Chain Manager, and leave it on your bosses desk. (-1 dirt poor, -1 not manager, -2 don't know the joblist, + 2 both bosses are out) [3-2] You go off to hire some NPC's (no pay children) but find none.
awww. I think I was unclear - I didn't want to make burgers out of the zombie, I just wanted a flashy ad campaign based on having a popular zombie. I guess there is about one thing left to do: prepare pre-mortem necromantic ritual to become Undead. Oh wait, two things: try not to sob uncontrollably.
Looks like the end for ol' Ozarck.
(-2 new to necromancy, +1 adrenaline, +1 strong necromantic powers) [hidden+0] you make up a ritual, and cut yourself with your teeth, spilling blood, of which you carefully paint all over your body. When it is over, you are yanked out of the car. both your former boss and your former coworker are looking at you, both with the same revolvers in their hand. You can see and smell the ocean behind them. . . you know your fate, and all you can do is cry. (-1 you screwed up bad, +1 Don is in a much better mood, +1 resigning to your fate)[10+1] You don't plee. You dont beg. You cry uncontrollably, but you are human brave in the face of the inevitable. It moves the Dons heart.
"I changed my mind. You can live. Heck, you can stay with the company. Your brave, and I like that. You aint Boss material, thats for sure, but, maybe yous can learn ah thing or two from this man here. Bit of a kiss-ass, but trustworthy." and with that, you have been granted your freedom and life.
Improve.
[1] This is hard. really hard. between the hundred dollar orders, and people only wanting napkins, information, and booze, of which you dont have, you dont get any order right. you are sure you are costing the company mony, major money. Then, to make matters worse, you are getting a headache, and are moving so fast, that, you can swear you smell fire. and then the cash regester catches fire, quickly burning up hundreds of dollars. And its spreadding
Become informant, also bring one of those assassin blade up sleeve things
You say yes to becoming an informant for McViolent and buy plastic assassin daggers to put up your sleeves. your know, the oversized disneyesque type ones.
Start trying to make the Ninja Dojo look bad. Say that the person who tried to attack them with a handgun was hired by them to do so and so on.
You try to use the art of slander against Ninja Dojo, to bring more sales your way, and away from them. [7] and are quite sucessful, gaining dozens of potential customers, though, also gaining ninja dojos ire as well.
Join as a waiter.
You go to the ever fancy Sheikh and Shakes, to apply for a position as their waiter. [3] They have no openings at the moment, sadly. Fully staffed with god fearing men.
Sign? Sure, chum!
You sign the paperwork, and suddenly it disappears in a puff of smoke. . . So much smoke. . .. To much smoke! It burns your eyes and makes it extremely hard to breath. You cough incessantly. And then you wake up. You are in a ninja costume. . . . in a white room. There are five items in front of you. A throwing star. A strange vial. A scroll. A spear. A chain whip.
You feel you have six choices, but you must choose one.
I AM A TYRANID CUSTOMER
[3] you walk in Paranoia Sirens dressed as a tyranid.
"
Hello citizen. you are displaying knowledge far beyond your clearance level. Prepare to be hunted down."
mayhaps you should run.
Apply as A Zombified Toothless Insane Drug Addicted Dishwasher.
You can not apply for a position you already have. . . plus the bosses are away. . . .
Poll
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Topic: Roll to Serve (Read 12017 times)