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[origamiscienceguy]

Once, I embarked in a cold enviroment, then abandoned. I had temperature turned off for this one.

Later, I reclaimed with temperature back on.

All dwarves spawned OVER the river, 1 step later, they fell in and the river froze.

I lost a fort in 1 STEP. BEAT THAT!

[Niddhoger]

Terrifying biome.  A murder of zombie-ravens was waiting next to my wagon.  I think everyone was dead within 2 game days.  I tried to dig/seal a hole first thing, but my miner had barely started when the rest were slaughtered. 

[terko]

Shortest embarks had all been embark locations filled with alligators ... though they make good food, they prefer to eat those who'd love to eat them first.

And ... there had been that Volcano once, long long time ago, didn't even know it was one, ignored the 'warm stone warning' and kept digging ... since then: check twice before you act.

[abysmalduke]

My shortest living fort so far was when I was playing in a Terrifying Tundra. I believed in that the evil biome would only reanimate the corpses in the aboveground surface. Mainly because the reanimation rate was so slow that it didn't even seen a single one in the caverns got animated.

The fort ended started off with a strong fundament allowing us to establish a full functoring fortress underground. But somehow my door didn't agree and let in an undead unrotten [normal] weasel. I sent whole of my fortress' inhabitants to mangle it. They managed to spill out all of the corpse's blood and organs, fracturing all bones and knocking out all nails and teeth. Leaving it only capable of pushing. But beyond that, deadlock. Every dwarf was too busy attempting to crush that weasel cropse beyond recognition.

Unrotten undead creatures are invulnerable.

With all the dwarves too busy attacking with no possibility to drag them out. I gave up by going into "mode set" to Arena and dumped lava all over the corpse and then abandoned it and the world to rot in my save folder.

[Bumber]

My shortest living fort so far was when I was playing in a Terrifying Tundra. I believed in that the evil biome would only reanimate the corpses in the aboveground surface. Mainly because the reanimation rate was so slow that it didn't even seen a single one in the caverns got animated.

The fort ended started off with a strong fundament allowing us to establish a full functoring fortress underground. But somehow my door didn't agree and let in an undead unrotten [normal] weasel. I sent whole of my fortress' inhabitants to mangle it. They managed to spill out all of the corpse's blood and organs, fracturing all bones and knocking out all nails and teeth. Leaving it only capable of pushing. But beyond that, deadlock. Every dwarf was too busy attempting to crush that weasel cropse beyond recognition.

Unrotten undead creatures are invulnerable.

With all the dwarves too busy attacking with no possibility to drag them out. I gave up by going into "mode set" to Arena and dumped lava all over the corpse and then abandoned it and the world to rot in my save folder.

Could've just atom-smashed it. (Edit: Before you sent your entire fort after it, that is.)

[FallenAngel]

Mine involved DFHack but it was still quite awesome.
In the last DF2012 version, I used embark anywhere to embark on a cold ocean.
It was liquid.
One step later, everybody fell in and died instantly, since they were frozen solid.
Reclaiming was more successful, though.

[abysmalduke]

My shortest living fort so far was when I was playing in a Terrifying Tundra. I believed in that the evil biome would only reanimate the corpses in the aboveground surface. Mainly because the reanimation rate was so slow that it didn't even seen a single one in the caverns got animated.

The fort ended started off with a strong fundament allowing us to establish a full functoring fortress underground. But somehow my door didn't agree and let in an undead unrotten [normal] weasel. I sent whole of my fortress' inhabitants to mangle it. They managed to spill out all of the corpse's blood and organs, fracturing all bones and knocking out all nails and teeth. Leaving it only capable of pushing. But beyond that, deadlock. Every dwarf was too busy attempting to crush that weasel cropse beyond recognition.

Unrotten undead creatures are invulnerable.

With all the dwarves too busy attacking with no possibility to drag them out. I gave up by going into "mode set" to Arena and dumped lava all over the corpse and then abandoned it and the world to rot in my save folder.

Could've just atom-smashed it. (Edit: Before you sent your entire fort after it, that is.)

Had no drawbridge ready yet. I wanted to setup the industry before I could send my miners to dig out a new entrance. Else my fort would then starve and dehydrate to death due to supply shortage.

[Immortal-D]

Good stuff   I've had a few notably short Forts, but one in particular is my favorite, because it got me interested in Good/Evil-aligned Biomes.

I embarked in a Temperate Mirthful Forest, intent on enjoying some !FUN! with the local hippies.  I begin setting up a base camp, and order my Fisher Dwarf to the nearby river.  He arrives, and within a few seconds I see a fish icon appear near the shore.  I'm thinking 'Great! Our first catch'.  Then the fish overlaps him... then they both move in to the river... then they vanish   That's fine, I still have 6 Dwarves left.  I remove labors from Urist McHunter, and send him to explore the forest.  No more than a minute later, I get the announcement 'Cancels hunt, interrupted by Unicorn'.  I zoom to the spot, expecting to watch him die horribly.

He looses a few bolts, all miss, and the Unicorn charges.  Amazingly, Urist actually manages to dodge!  He then proceeds to turn, smack the foul creature upside the head with crossbow, and plants a bolt between the eyes.  I'm thinking 'Great! We'll be having Unicorn burgers for at least a week'.  Then was when 3 of his buddies showed up, and the Fortress quickly ended from a combination of stabbing and tantrum.  Total play time- less than a day.

[The Big D]

Unrotten undead creatures are invulnerable.

I had this on a Half glacier, half cold taiga biome with an undead weasel.


And now I'll tell you all about the time i discovered pressure.

Young Nooby D had set up his second fort next to a volcano. He had yet to suss out much building wise, but knew basic smelting stuff. And a magma forge sounded cool! However, a goblin ambush had D lock his dorfs inside the fort. Ah well, they can rot out there with that werelizard. So. Forges! Lah dee dah, sussing out the stuff, I know! Lets put it on the top floor!

Five minutes of construction later....

Ok, time to breach the magma pipe! Yay! Everyone gather round to watch!

Wait, why is the magma going that way...
BUT I DUG A MOAT TO STOP IT!

Ah well, it was very !!FUN!!. Also ended in a non-firesafe front door melting and visiting the Gobbos, soon to be !!Gobbos!!. Also, one of my miners escaped and died of thirst on the surface.

[Gutsy]

One of my first forts ended when I was tabbed out, reading a tutorial. I forgot to pause the game, and didn't realize we were stood on top of a frozen river until a few minutes in, spring arrived.

At least I learnt not to take my eyes off the game.

[escondida]

The first time I embarked on an evil map, it immediately started raining. To my delight, the hideous ooze or whatever merely caused terrible blistering all over the body, rather than causing death. The dwarves quickly struck the earth, but were overrun by a bloat of zombie hippopotami, except for the woodcutter, who was harried by an unholy alliance between a cry of undead hounds (formerly the fort's dogs) and an unkindness of undead ravens. Total play time: a couple of days, maybe.

[Amperzand]

Probably my only really short lived fort was the one I made when first trying out the game, basically embarked, unpaused, then spent an hour or so trying to figure out how to order digging. All dorfs starve.

[Staalo]

I'll just crosspost this from the "Two hundred megabeast..." thread:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The wagon ended up right next to a pack of thirteen zombie hydras. Didn't really have time to do anything after unpausing; the fort lasted about five seconds.

[Max™]

^I tried to get one of the eldritch castle lairs shortly after seeing you post that, I had located a site that had a large cluster of lairs in the same region tile and I knew one of them had 1020 Rocs, so I rolled the dice and embarked.

I didn't think to grab a screenshot because I was just kinda watching the slow-motion horror show play out, since apparently the Roc kilonest was just a bit further from my wagon than a little hidey-hole lair which was quite literally filled to the brim with Hydras.

Ever poked an ant nest and had a little over 100 of the gigantic 7 headed dragonbastards come pouring out?

Ever done it and thought briefly "oh thank Armok they're going for the hundreds of Rocs heading their way, maybe I can get some... designations... down... despite... the... lag..." and then hit aquifer a tile down?

Slow-motion (FPS:0) explosions of hydra teeth, blood painting the trees, my dorfs yakety saxing around in a panic as something like 20 hydras jump up and down on the nearest one before heading to the next.

It took a good 10 minutes or so to actually play out, but I'm pretty sure the entire fort lifespan was well under a hundred ticks.

[StubbornAlcoholic]

I had an aquifer embark where I had no idea what I was doing, and managed to cause a massive cave-in that killed both my miners. Since the picks were lost everyone was screwed.

I also had a Terrifying Evil embark where the rain caused pus to leak out of my Dwarves. They were all coated in the rain because the grass was wet pretty much from the beginning, and over the course of about a month they all rotted to death :\