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[ShadowHammer]

well, alright then but how do I go about doing things? Adding you guys to skype? Making an IRC? Whats the uh, whats the road to take..?

Skype group would be a good idea, if you'd prefer to talk to people rather than chat. An IRC and/or Steam group would be a good idea if you want a group of people you can talk to anytime without timezone issues, given that Skype calls can be somewhat of a pain to set up and schedule.

I think any of the above would work for most people; all of them are free and easily accessible. While the Skype-timezone thing mentioned might be problematic (I think the majority of this forum's population is in North America), you could also just use the chat part of Skype if organizing calls isn't feasible.
If you can't decide, you could put up a poll asking everyone what they use, or we could just try all three and see which works best.

[Dexexe1234]

well I guess the people reading this can decide then. Everyone? IRC or Skype?

[Rolepgeek]

IRC, maybe, if you can find a decent client for it. I'd only be able to be on infrequently though, if only because of forgetting or getting distracted or chores.

I'm just paranoid about the internet and Skype reminds me of sad times.

[Dexexe1234]

Eh lets just go with IRC then. Follow this link. I will also add one to my signature. You just have to write up your username and click go to get straight to it.

[Tiruin]

IRC, Dex. I have a TON to tell you but my net precludes me from doing it (because word size > loading speed, it seems. Apologies ahead). 'A Ton' = a lot, especially in regards to helpin' ya on the attitude there c:

For posterity:

That's the kind of thing I'm talking about. You identified the negative thought - thinking that I'm mocking you - and challenged it with something a bit more realistic - telling yourself I'm trying to help.

This is a very important thing and step. Hooray you!
Aaaaand I'm composing a PM--sending it later due to net shenanigans here. It always dies or is slow-as-molasses in the morning -_- Its 7:58am here.

[flame99]

where a game would require a lot of work but no one sees it before the package is ready to be delivered

If you feel like that towards making forum games, but you still want to make games, have you considered trying your hand at making a video game? If part of the main cause of stress in regards to running forum games is it feeling slow and unfinished, then working on a video game could prove less stressful. If the technical aspects, like programming and the like, are a problem, I could help with that.

Sorry if the question would be more apt for the IRC channel. I can't get on that for the time being.

[Dermonster]

He's tried making an actual video game a couple times to my recollection.

Every single time every other person involved gradually just stopped responding.

[flame99]

He's tried making an actual video game a couple times to my recollection.

Every single time every other person involved gradually just stopped responding.

Ah. Never mind, then.

[Dermonster]

It's still a good idea, but he needs people who don't, you know, disappear.

[flame99]

It's still a good idea, but he needs people who don't, you know, disappear.

I just meant that I didn't realize he'd considered and taken that option before. If Dex still would like to make another stab at it, I can still try to contribute.

Though, I can't say just how much I'll have the free time to contribute. As anyone playing in my D&D game can attest, I've been pretty busy, and likely will continue to be for a while.

[Tiruin]

wouldnt that be super selfish of me though?

NOBODY CARES. Is that not clear yet? WE WANT YOU TO BE SELFISH! SELFISH=GOOD

You are not selfish enough, is the problem, I think. Selfish is good in your case, because it's usually the first step towards narcissism; which requires self-confidence. Being self-centered helps build an ego, which everyone needs to some extent.

Be selfish, man. If nothing else, think of it this way: If you're at a food bank, you make sure the cooks are fed first. You can't help anyone else if you don't help yourself first, to get into a position where you can help others. Otherwise, you're putting the cart before the horse. And yes I know I'm butchering that saying. I don't care. It still works.

...I really think your definition of selfish, and what we're suggesting for Dex, are not the same. That's not selfish, first of all--or at least self-centrism. It's called acknowledging what you've got, and asking others for help.
...For some reason you take this as being selfish. ._.

Think of this from our perspective: {Random person} goes and asks for help > Why do we pop in and help?
Some do it because they've suffered through the same and people helped them out.
Some do it because of a motive or intent.
Some do it because they just want to help, with nothing ulterior.
...Where I see it, Rolep, 'selfish' is very out of place there. It's not that 'nobody cares that you're being selfish!' because that still carries the idea that the act in itself carries a notion of being selfish--but that people care about the bloody well-being of others.
And being self-aware and seeking aid for it is a better choice of words.

[ShadowHammer]

So, how's this IRC channel supposed to be operating? I've just been going there and hanging out whenever I'm on the computer anyways, but I never see anyone else, other than Dex. Is it intended to be more of a thing that only happens when it's needed? Like, Dex'll tell us when he's feeling like talking to people about this kind of thing, and then we'll go on then?

[anailater]

The way I see it you just pop in when you feel like it and assuming Dex isn't sleeping you just talk about stuff, which is presumably the best thing to do.

[Tiruin]

The way I see it you just pop in when you feel like it and assuming Dex isn't sleeping you just talk about stuff, which is presumably the best thing to do.

Eep :x I totally missed the idea that there was a channel for all this.

...I usually spend my time on the B12 general IRC. [#bay12lb > irc.darkmyst.org > SearchEngine: Darkmyst Webchat]

Like, Dex'll tell us when he's feeling like talking to people about this kind of thing, and then we'll go on then?

This seems to be best :O I've known a lot of people with very similar things like Dex, and what he needs is support and exposure. Them thoughts plaguing him are surmountable, and we're like his HP Boost in facing this boss!
^{That, and you could try PMs instead :3 Those work.}
I could expound on the utility of friends and therapists there if needed x3 as a random thought popped up about a thing I discussed with earlier...not on forum.

[Rolepgeek]

...I really think your definition of selfish, and what we're suggesting for Dex, are not the same. That's not selfish, first of all--or at least self-centrism. It's called acknowledging what you've got, and asking others for help.
...For some reason you take this as being selfish. ._.

Think of this from our perspective: {Random person} goes and asks for help > Why do we pop in and help?
Some do it because they've suffered through the same and people helped them out.
Some do it because of a motive or intent.
Some do it because they just want to help, with nothing ulterior.
...Where I see it, Rolep, 'selfish' is very out of place there. It's not that 'nobody cares that you're being selfish!' because that still carries the idea that the act in itself carries a notion of being selfish--but that people care about the bloody well-being of others.
And being self-aware and seeking aid for it is a better choice of words.

Couple Answers for this:

A. No, I just don't innately attach a negative connotation to the word selfish. In it's most general sense, Selfish means doing things for oneself. It doesn't have to mean 'at the expense of others'.
B. Not the point. I used that because whenever I feel like shit, and from my experience trying to help others not feel like shit, saying 'you're not being selfish' doesn't work. Because they already believe they are and just saying that doesn't really change anything. It's just the way the brain works. At least from my experience. But if you say 'it's alright to be selfish, sometimes', that's different. It's also true; you have to focus on yourself, and make sure you are okay, before you can do anything else, really. And so it's okay to be 'selfish' in that manner. EDIT: Additionally, people who are depressed typically place a great deal of emphasis on other people's perceptions of them, because they think that their own perceptions of themselves are worthless and/or have very negative perceptions of themselves, so being told "It is alright to do this thing" can be an important step. And yes maybe this is undoing everything I've been trying to help Dex with by explaining it, but explaining it doesn't anything I've said before any less true.

So, Tiruin, can you not get picky about the words I choose in order to try and help people feel better, as long as they work? I tend to choose my words very carefully, on these forums, when I can. I don't view selfish as bad. Selfish is inevitable. Nobody actually does anything truly selfless; they can do things that are far more selfless than selfish, but every action has some token amount of self-serving motivation behind it, even if it's just 'I like helping people'. Because I, personally, do. I hate seeing people in distress. I hate that there are people in distress. Because of this, I help people. It's not usually considered an ulterior motivation because there's no visceral or material reward, there's just the warm fuzzies type of thing. And it doesn't make it less of a good thing to do, or make them any worse of a person, because that's not the part that matters.

And my entire goal in life, what I'm planning on studying for, is in order to help others. I have gotten myself in trouble on multiple occasions for helping people when I was supposed to be doing something else. I have issues with not at least trying to help people if I know they're in trouble, even when it's useless. So please, Tiruin, consider in what context and for what purpose I was using the word, rather than jumping on my word choice and trying to pick it apart as if I was accusing Dex.