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Author Topic: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée  (Read 1577334 times)

Egan_BW

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12000 on: February 18, 2016, 09:30:39 am »

I would vote for Jebidiah Kerman.
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I would starve tomorrow if I could eat the world today.

mainiac

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12001 on: February 18, 2016, 09:31:46 am »

Psssh, like the Jedi could even get elected to the Senate.

"Obi-wan Kenobi claims he fought in the clone wars.  Why do so many clone war veterans for truth say they saw him running from battle?  How can he claim to have been chasing count dooku by leaving the battlefield?"

"I'm Donald Trump and I support this message."

Sith too.

"Ambassador Palpatine says he supports freedom of the worlds but why doesn't he make a statement condemning Jedi kidnapping and brainwashing children?  Do you trust Palpatine with your child's education?"

"I'm Donald Trump and I support this message."
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
--------------
[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

DJ

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12002 on: February 18, 2016, 09:34:38 am »

Sorry if it's been posted before, but I just discovered an awesome GOP primaries rap.
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Urist, President has immigrated to your fortress!
Urist, President mandates the Dwarven Bill of Rights.

Cue magma.
Ah, the Magma Carta...

origamiscienceguy

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  • WELL! OK THEN!... That was fun.
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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12003 on: February 18, 2016, 09:36:56 am »

I would vote for Jebidiah Kerman.
NASA would finally be funded, but all safety protocols would disappear.
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

sluissa

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12004 on: February 18, 2016, 09:57:59 am »

I would vote for Jebidiah Kerman.
NASA would finally be funded, but all safety protocols would disappear.

I think a surprising number of astronauts would be okay with this. (Early days of NASA basically ran this way up until Challenger)
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RedKing

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12005 on: February 18, 2016, 11:11:16 am »

I would vote for Jebidiah Kerman.
NASA would finally be funded, but all safety protocols would disappear.
So, basically Republican NASA? Except that Republican NASA would go back to pre-Valentina versions. Can't have girlbals getting in the way. Or serving in combat ranks. Or being subject to the draft.
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

Nullsrc

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12006 on: February 18, 2016, 11:20:43 am »

I would vote for Jebidiah Kerman.
NASA would finally be funded, but all safety protocols would disappear.

And we would have to start calling it the Mun.
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Egan_BW

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12007 on: February 18, 2016, 11:21:01 am »

Not having women subject to the draft results in less potential draftees and is therefore anti-military and something a democrat would suggest.
This message paid for by the girls on aircraft carriers fund.
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I would starve tomorrow if I could eat the world today.

RedKing

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12008 on: February 18, 2016, 11:35:19 am »

New polls!

Quinnipiac has a slew of head-to-head poll results:
Quote
Clinton v Trump: Clinton 44, Trump 43 (Clinton +1)
Sanders v Trump: Sanders 48, Trump 42 (Sanders +6)

Clinton v Cruz: Cruz 46, Clinton 43 (Cruz +3)
Sanders v Cruz: Sanders 49, Cruz 39 (Sanders +10)

Clinton v Rubio: Rubio 48, Clinton 41 (Rubio +7)
Sanders v Rubio: Sanders 47, Rubio 41 (Sanders +6)

Clinton v Bush: Bush 44, Clinton 43 (Bush +1)
Sanders v Bush: Sanders 49, Bush 39 (Sanders +10)

Clinton v Kasich: Kasich 47, Clinton 39 (Kasich +8)
Sanders v Kasich: Sanders 45, Kasich 41 (Sanders +4)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


Congressional approval is at 9%, while Obama's approval is between 43-49% depending on the poll. Remind me again how everything is Obama's fault?

Couple more SC polls, no real change from the previous trends -- Trump in the low-mid 30's, Cruz in 2nd with 15-20%, Rubio close on his heels with 15-16%, and Bush in 4th place with around 10%. One difference in the FOX News poll released today is that Ben Carson is actually tied for 4th with Bush at 9%, Carson's best showing in a state poll in a while. So there continues to be the Cruz/Rubio dogfight for 2nd/3rd and the Bush/Kasich dogfight for 4th may be heating up into a 3-way battle with Carson.

There's also a Wall Street Journal poll which shows Cruz overtaking Trump, but given that the numbers are rather dramatically different than several contemporary polls, I'm inclined to treat it as an outlier.



EDIT: FiveThirtyEight has done a great project on speechcraft that I highly encourage everyone to check out. They had two speechwriters (one Republican, one Democrat) write very pandering, red-meat sort of speeches that a candidate might deliver to rally their base, and then they analyze and explain the rhetorical flourishes and why particular phrases and topics are almost de rigeur for political speeches. It's really very illuminating.

Democrat speech: http://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/democratic-stump-speech/
Republican speech: http://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/stump-speech/
« Last Edit: February 18, 2016, 11:49:25 am by RedKing »
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

Zangi

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12009 on: February 18, 2016, 12:21:37 pm »

So the FBI got a court order to make Apple build backdoors to hack itself. Apple has decided not to take it up the ass. https://www.apple.com/customer-letter/
Big Brother intensifies.
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All life begins with Nu and ends with Nu...  This is the truth! This is my belief! ... At least for now...
FMA/FMA:B Recommendation

redwallzyl

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12010 on: February 18, 2016, 12:22:11 pm »

more Oregon occupiers stupid stuff. i don't think shes getting that $666,666,666,666.66. "damages from the works of the devil" is not a valid charge.

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/02/18/467204403/oregon-occupier-countersues-for-666-billion-citing-works-of-the-devil
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Bauglir

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12011 on: February 18, 2016, 12:23:59 pm »

i honestly don't know if her lawyer is being paid too much or not enough
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In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

Zangi

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12012 on: February 18, 2016, 12:28:38 pm »

I don't think the federal gov't is responsible for Acts of Gods, unless it is to fix things on an emergency disaster level.  I reckon Works of the Devil fall under the same category.
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All life begins with Nu and ends with Nu...  This is the truth! This is my belief! ... At least for now...
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Tawa

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I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

Egan_BW

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #12014 on: February 18, 2016, 12:40:24 pm »

And this one will be thrown out for the same reason.
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