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Author Topic: Murrican Politics Megathread 2016: There Will Be Hell Toupée  (Read 1569845 times)

Egan_BW

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10725 on: January 31, 2016, 10:06:31 pm »

I won't really be happy with this metaphor until you tell me who Tom Bombadil is.
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Rolan7

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10726 on: January 31, 2016, 10:08:36 pm »

In a time before time (IE just yesterday, in historical terms) it was possible to respect a group of people without pretending they were all exactly like every other group of people.

I won't really be happy with this metaphor until you tell me who Tom Bombadil is.
He is literally the creator god, probably.  Shacked up with Gaia.
No, really!
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10727 on: January 31, 2016, 10:11:40 pm »

I won't really be happy with this metaphor until you tell me who Tom Bombadil is.
Comes out of nowhere, has seemingly infinite unexplained powers, could probably take over the world if he actually gave a shit?

Tommy Wiseau.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10728 on: January 31, 2016, 10:50:05 pm »

Yeah, the Dwarven language has a number of elements of Semitic languages, and the Dwarven mythology shares elements of the Israelite mythology (seven tribes originally, now down to just two).
There were twelve starting tribes of Israel though and they descend from the mortal man Jacob and are God's chosen people, whereas the Dwarves are fashioned as seven tribes created from one God who failed to impart life unto them, then passed them over to his father another God who could impart life (who does) and chooses not to destroy them, but then also commands them to slumber so they do not take primacy over Elves. Likewise whilst the Elves are created perfect in every way, the Dwarves are literally stunted and are imperfect, their one redeeming quality is their purpose - they were created to learn craftsdwarfship from Mahal their creator. Well, that and their resistance to fire. If we're going to say LOTR is an analogue for real world peeps, the Dwarves are the English born from the Heptarchy, where from Seven Kingdoms only one line of Kings remained (the line of Durin) compounded by the arrival of mysterious new arrivals (fucking Vikings) that and the Dwarves being deep-digging industrialists bringing about their own doom? There's no mistake they were given Northumbrian accents in the film adaptions. Even that bit about being good friends if you don't expect loyalty, that's perfidious Albion. Back then there was a saying for perfidious Albion, England, in that it had only interests, no allies. And splendid isolation, hoarding wealth whilst remaining aloof from worldly wars? The Dwarves aren't even a special chosen like the Dunedain or the Elves.
Looking this up the only link I can find between Jews and Dwarves is a letter Tolkein writes considering the anachronism of film productions of the Hobbit and how in it their language seems Semitic and a parallel can be drawn between the homeless Dwarves and the homeless Jews
Though then again this is all redundant as the Dwarves are Germanic mythology Tolkeineised
The three main peeps are Celtic English, Germanic English and Norman English, covered in Norse mythology and Christian theology, this is literally cultural appropriation shitlords omg wow I can't evn

Getting back to Gondorian American politics, I'm going to go out on a small limb and say that the top-3 finish in Iowa is going to be Trump, Rubio, Cruz with Trump and Rubio pretty close and Cruz a distant third. I think Cruz took a beating in that last debate and he's come under major fire for the campaign mailers they sent out implying that voters were being graded on participation and trying to shame people into caucusing. Midwesterners really don't appreciate that kind of cuntery (no, that's not a typo).
RIP in pes Cruz, this is the future you chose

hector13

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10729 on: January 31, 2016, 10:54:19 pm »

Am I the only one that thinks Cruz looks a bit like a chubby Latin Odo?
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Flying Dice

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10730 on: January 31, 2016, 11:15:55 pm »

We'll all be RIP in pez under a Trump presidency. He'll build giant Pez dispensers on the border; when you die you're packed into a coffin and fed into a circulating belt-lift at the bottom of one of them. When your coffin reaches the top it pops out and into Mexican/Canadian airspace, at which it ceases to be Trump's problem. Every one of the Pez dispensers will have his head on them; he's continually opening his mouth to spit corpses in boxes at our neighbors.
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Shadowlord

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10731 on: January 31, 2016, 11:21:43 pm »

So... his wall is going to be made out of bodies then?
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Flying Dice

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10732 on: January 31, 2016, 11:24:29 pm »

So... his wall is going to be made out of bodies then?
Yep. And he's going to let it become a biohazard zone if they don't do anything about it. Either they clean it up (thus paying the greatest expense involved) or they don't (thus making it even more dangerous to cross the border). He's a true visionary.
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mainiac

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10733 on: January 31, 2016, 11:49:49 pm »

In a time before time (IE just yesterday, in historical terms) it was possible to respect a group of people without pretending they were all exactly like every other group of people.

Sure, and you can still respect people today... but I'm more talking about how dwarves were hooked nosed people with funny faces who would sell their mothers for gold in the early drafts.  Tolkein wrote some stuff that took political connotations he didn't like so he decided he would change it to be more chill.  And honestly it's the sort of stuff that wouldn't pass muster today but he gets a pass because he was writing it before this stuff was obvious and his intentions were pretty clear.
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Rolepgeek

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10734 on: February 01, 2016, 12:32:34 am »

I won't really be happy with this metaphor until you tell me who Tom Bombadil is.
The guy who was running on election reform platform. No one knows who he is, got left out of the main event, but everyone wishes he was in there, even though they know he won't actually accomplish anything.
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Descan

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10735 on: February 01, 2016, 12:48:29 am »

please try to read the quote he was responding to
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Rolepgeek

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10736 on: February 01, 2016, 01:02:22 am »

Though, what I'm curious about is Arnor and the Witch-King, now, and how they fit into the historical picture.
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Shadowlord

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10737 on: February 01, 2016, 01:31:24 am »

The Witch-King was the leader of the Ringwraiths and the Necromancer was Sauron, so whoever THEY are.
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mainiac

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10738 on: February 01, 2016, 01:45:05 am »

Sauron is pretty clearly Putin.  Mordor however is China.  You see we might not always agree with China when they go around killing men and hobbits but you gotta admit they did a great job keeping those protestors under control.
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
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Amperzand

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Re: Ted Cruz's Adult Coloring Book and Chill 2016 Megathread
« Reply #10739 on: February 01, 2016, 01:51:30 am »

So are the Ringwraiths Best Korea, or what?
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Is there a word that combines comedy with tragedy and farce?
Heiterverzweiflung. Not a legit German word so much as something a friend and I made up in German class once. "Carefree despair". When life is so fucked that you can't stop laughing.
http://www.collinsdictionary.com
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