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[Tiruin]

12. Become a bit more social - Well I'm here I guess. The fear of being ignored or rejected is holding me back quite a bit.
[/spoiler]

The thing to remember is this: Just because no one answered doesn't mean no one read your post. It's okay if posts go unanswered for a while, and sometimes they never get answered. That just means that no one had anything to add to what you said. We tend to be a pretty civil bunch unless you get us talking about hot-button issues (gender, politics, religion, etc.) Another thing to remember: If you're not being a dick, you're welcome here.

Oooh, also! Note that personal assumptions may carry over from that fear--as one who had that fear too (hooray friendly intervention), I've to note that sometimes, its also personal rather than external on how things are perceived.

Like, if you remember a certain derogatory or mean thing a {certain person you're in common contact with} has said before, and it had a lasting effect on ya--maybe try to talk it over with the person in question other than letting the idea 'be' part of how you see that person.

Personal experience anyway, though I do note that its a common factor in most people with that fear.

[Silthuri]

I'm much more comfortable here on the forums than I am in real life. I have quite a few issues with myself, possibly due to my very shitty past. The fact that I'm rejected by myself doesn't help any. I always make things pretty awkward in social situations. At least with people I'm not familiar with...

I remember mean crap people did to me when I was five... I've always had trouble letting the past go and I'm always more than ready to add to the list.

[Tiruin]

I think adding a goal of 'accept myself' should be a top priority. If you want, we can talk about it over in PMs (I could say I can relate but...differing experiences in a big world.) ._.

[Silthuri]

PMs would be nice, Tiru, if you have the time.

Also, thanks MaximumZero!

Spoiler: New Goals 2 rerolls remaining (click to show/hide)

1. Get my depression under control.
2. Accept myself for who I am, let go of the past and stop being so pessimistic about the future. Have hope, for once.
3. Try my best to enjoy life's smallest pleasures. Yoga and meditation in the morning to enjoy the quiet. Just take a moment out of my busy, stressful day and breathe.
4. Start reading again. There was a time when I had my nose in a book 24/7. I miss it...
5. Start writing again. Seriously. This used to be my escape. It shouldn't be a burden now.
6. Get my GPA high enough to get decent scholarships and have a shot at getting into law school.
7. Be able to manage my anxiety/anger without medication.
8. Take care of myself a bit better. Exercise, eat healthier foods, give myself a treat every now and again and not feel guilty
9. Learn to play the guitar so I can play my boyfriend a song.
10. Plan my day so I can avoid feeling rushed and drained.
11. Spend time with my friends and family. They won't be around forever. Tell them how much I love them as much as possible.
12. Start caring about what's going on in the world. Read up on the current events, watch the news.

Spoiler: Miscellaneous things it'd be nice to do (click to show/hide)

13. Learn to draw
14. Tour the local law school
... will add more as I think of them.

[MaximumZero]

Spoiler: Max Updoot, 2/1 Edition (click to show/hide)

Using Vector's color scheme

Forum default = unstarted
Red = started, stopped progress
Orange = started, suboptimal progress
Green = started, good progress
Bold = fucking catastrophe
Strikethrough = complete!

1. Remember to actively give more of my time to my family. I spend a lot of time on the computer. Having a new baby means that I spend a lot less time on the computer, what with feeding and changing and attention paying, and more feeding and more changing, and various other baby nonsense. I'm doing my best to keep up with my wife and oldest kid, too, but that leaves me very little time for myself, and it's been extremely hard to wind down, especially with my ungodly stupid work schedule.

2. Get the hell out of retail/customer service, no matter what it takes. I'm miserable and I hate it. I'm going to put in for a new job tomorrow, 2/2. They were just waiting on professional references for me. Let's hope they're still waiting and haven't filled the job yet.

3. Get custody of daughter. No change. There won't be any changes for quite a while. Other things have to get this ball rolling.

4. Get back to coding. #1 takes priority, though. GME has been fired up more than twice in the last month, so we're doing good.

5. Pay off student loans/medical debts. Get credit score up. #2 may have to happen first. Nothing yet.

6. Get back to making art of some kind. Doesn't matter what kind. Just art. Nothing yet. No time to myself yet.

7. Buy a house? Buy a haus. If all goes well, we may not actually have to buy a house. One may fall into our laps. It's not the greatest, but it's a damn good start, and it's paid off.

8. Exercise! Get under 200 lbs! Ha, very funny. No change.

9. Eat better, try more fruits and veggies. No change since last time, although I did have a chat with Wolfeyez and her mom about the types of juice and things I like.

10. Host more P&P roleplaying sessions. None yet. No time.

11. Work on Neo Dreams: Chronicles of Avarsiin. P&P and video game form. Have been moving forward very slowly with Game Maker, and I mostly blame my very severe lack of confidence in my skill and having next to no free time. *sigh* I'd kill for just a few days all to myself a month to work on all of my projects. As of right now, I get approximately 0 days a month all to myself.

12. Make my Sims LP more hilarious. I'm still getting good feedback, so I'm counting this one as a win so far. I really need to update that. I have Tuesday off, so I'll probably do it then.

[Orange Wizard]

Oh hey, I should probably give an update.

Spoiler: List of the Twelve(ish) Behemoth (click to show/hide)

Vector's ubiquitous colour scheme awakens!

Forum default = unstarted
Red = started, stopped progress
Orange = started, suboptimal progress
Green = started, good progress
Bold = fucking catastrophe
Strikethrough = complete!

1. Think up Twelve Behemoth list.
2. Keep living spaces tidy. Pick up clothes, put things away, dust, vacuum, clean, etc. This only involves a lot of effort when I don't do it, so yeah. - This is impossible to "complete" as such. I'm kind of keeping up with it, but also frequently lagging behind by a few days. Not great, in any case.
3. Build good study habits. Keep up with the workload and so on. Straightforward, but I have an abominable track record with this kind of thing so I won't be surprised if it falls flat. - Semester hasn't started yet so this isn't applicable.
4. Exercise. I want to build this up from the current "sometimes walk a little bit" to "go for a walk/jog most days". This is less about fitness/losing weight/whatever and more about keeping myself active so I don't die of heart disease before the age of forty. - I started walking more, but that didn't last long. Maybe when the summer months bugger back to Hell I'll feel up to more exercise.
5. Stop worrying about being an arsehole when I'm in public/with polite company. I'm always ludicrously polite and well-spoken in those type of situations, so it's really a non-issue. - I think this is going well. I'm gradually becoming less anxious about all that social nonsense in general, so that's pretty awesome.
6. Be less of an arsehole around friends/with "relaxed" company. There is no middle ground for some reason. - I haven't reduced anyone to tears lately. Progress? Hopefully.
7.

[Bauglir]

Spoiler: Baugumentation (click to show/hide)

Forum default = unstarted
Red = started, stopped progress
Orange = started, suboptimal progress
Green = started, good progress
Bold = fucking catastrophe
Strikethrough = complete!

1. Make significant progress on game.
    -Minimum Milestone: Complete Alpha Draft
    -Hoped-For Milestone: Character Creation Client
    -Magical Christmasland: Gameplay Client
    -Batshit Insane: Associated Website

2. Arrange monthly expenses to allow a savings of $500 per month.

3. Finish all coursework for my degree a semester early, keeping in mind that I'll need to take one throwaway course during that semester to qualify for a continued assistantship.

4. Teach niece some arithmetic.
    -Minimum Milestone: Addition/Subtraction
    -Hoped-For Milestone: Multiplication/Division
    -Magical Christmasland: Algebra

5. Finish the Peloponnesian War, then the Aeneid.

6. Watch at least one course's worth of lectures in a math subject I've never studied before.

7. Watch at least one course's worth of lectures in a computer science subject I've never studied before.

8. Learn Lisp.

9. Cook at least two homemade, nutritious meals a week.

10. Eat at least one new food, or drink at least one new beverage, each month.

11. Shave every two days, trim beard at least every month.

12. Paint myself a nightlight.

Maintenance stuff is going pretty well, but one-off achievements aren't going well. I might have to use a reroll to strike the game stuff - I'm even managing to backslide, and have found most of my time this year that I've spent on it restructuring things that would invalidate much of what's already done. I'll wait to see how things look after this semester, which is the primary timesink I have to work around. I just have to remember that if I can get through this nightmare, my limits will have more to do with the number of hours in the day and less to do with my own endurance. And that'll be nice to know.

On the plus side, I got the entire nightlight thing sketched and some paint down. I was overly optimistic about how brightly the paint could glow, but it should still do what I need it to (that is, serve as an obvious beacon in the dark).

[Arx]

Well, it's been nearly a month.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

1. Get at least one story published, in any magazine.

This would require time, which I need to make, but can't right now. Excuses, dammit!

2. Work harder at school. At least four distinctions in Matric.

Posterior is being hauled. Have yet to get less than 80% on a task.

3. Get fitter. By the end of the year, be able to comfortably run at least five kilometres.

More posterior hauling. Not there, but moving along!

4. Get back into drawing and sculpting. Try to draw or sculpt something at least twice a week.

I've been doodling, but not sculpting.

5. Finish that damn suit of armour.

No time! Ever! Dammit.

6. Apply to universities. Attend open days and do research, first.

I've done a little poking around, but I need to up my game significantly here.

7. Lose the irrational stress. Or at least, start on it.

I get to sleep at a reasonable hour most nights, now.

8. Meditate before bed, or at least read.

Sorta. Sometimes.

9. Practice the flute, at least every other day.

Yeesh. Time, time, time. I may actually need to re-roll to something less time-intensive.

10. Practice singing. Consider tying to flute practice.

I have been practicing, but not as rigidly as I should be.

11. Practice social skills. They're okay-ish now, but they need work.

Getting there. Slowly, but getting there.

12. Become more active in charitable stuff.

Involvement in a number of projects looks possible. Should be going somewhere.

Some of those are green, I guess. I need to work harder at these.

[Worldmaster27]

Spoiler: Worldmaster's List of Things to Accomplish, 1 Month Update (click to show/hide)

Red = Not Started
Slow Progress
Good Progress
Started, but stopped (temporarily)

1. I really need to exercise more and hopefully lose weight and gain some upper body strength.
2. Be more social.
3. When you do talk, don't be an asshole. Doubly so in regards to friends.
4. Hand in hand with #2, get your friends' phone numbers. Seriously.
5. Ask your crush out, quit fearing the possible results.
6. Eat a more varied diet that isn't nearly 100% chicken, beef, and/or bread.
7. Try to draw & write more. You're already not!horrible at writing, but it needs some a lot of work.
8. Talk more and be more comfortable with your family. Try not to dislike them so much.
9. You could do with getting out of the house more and going to places that aren't on the internet.
10. Do small hygiene stuff more regularly, rather than just every couple of days at best.
11. Wear your retainer every other night like you're supposed to as opposed to maybe a couple times a month if that.
12. Be less opposed to personal posting in the emotion threads.

[Silthuri]

Spoiler: Update (click to show/hide)

Forum default = unstarted
Red = started, stopped progress
Orange = started, suboptimal progress
Green = started, good progress
Bold = fucking catastrophe
Strikethrough = complete!

1. Get my depression under control. - New depression medication in my grasp. Awaiting the time to test its effects on me. I've shown this list to my therapist, who thinks it's a brilliant idea. We're trying a few new things to move toward some of these goals. Yay progress!

2. Accept myself for who I am, let go of the past and stop being so pessimistic about the future. Have hope, for once. - Easier said than done...

3. Try my best to enjoy life's smallest pleasures. Yoga and meditation in the morning to enjoy the quiet. Just take a moment out of my busy, stressful day and breathe. - I've done this a bit, but I keep failing to make time for this in the morning because I'm always rushing to get to school on time.

4. Start reading again. There was a time when I had my nose in a book 24/7. I miss it... - Gods, reading feels GOOD! Already my writing senses are tingling. My brain is flooded with ideas begging to be put to paper. When I'm done doing school stuffs, I'll be writing my backside off.

5. Start writing again. Seriously. This used to be my escape. It shouldn't be a burden now. - I've written a couple sentences... I have discovered that I prefer paper and pen to a computer. Looks like I'm going to invest in some more notebooks before too long.

6. Get my GPA high enough to get decent scholarships and have a shot at getting into law school. - Very, very bad progress. I need to catch up readings for class, study for an exam and write a paper this week. I can get it done, but I never should have procrastinated like this!

7. Be able to manage my anxiety/anger without medication. - If only the doing was as easy as the saying...

8. Take care of myself a bit better. Exercise, eat healthier foods, give myself a treat every now and again and not feel guilty. - I eat fast food all the time because I work at a fast food restaurant. We have salads, but I can't stand salads. I found out the rec center at school is still open despite the construction going on. I should get off my lazy butt and start running the treadmill again. I hear running is a great way to get rid of some unwanted stress.

9. Learn to play the guitar so I can play my boyfriend a song. - Guitar continues to gather dust.

10. Plan my day so I can avoid feeling rushed and drained. - Considering how I can't even get up on time, this is quite hard to do.

11. Spend time with my friends and family. They won't be around forever. Tell them how much I love them as much as possible. -

12. Start caring about what's going on in the world. Read up on the current events, watch the news. - I keep forgetting about this... I am ashamed.

Spoiler: Miscellaneous things it'd be nice to do (click to show/hide)

13. Learn to draw.
14. Tour the local law school.
15. Get my ears pierced.
... will add more as I think of them.

[tompliss]

Posting to think about doing it sometime later.

Also, Vector (or somebody else), do you have a link to the 2014 edition ?
Nevermind, found it.
I have (too many) goals to take from the previous one :/

Spoiler: "Goals :" (click to show/hide)

1. Find a better job. You know, a job where you want to go.
(still here from last year. But at least, I changed job once already and it's a bit better)
2. Move out from my parents'.
(I could already put that green : visited 3 apartments, one of them is cool enough)
3. Talk to people.
(still here from last year too. Still need a lot of work there)
4. Hang out with your friends.
(ditto)
5. Do some work on this Squad no-random Puzzle-Roguelike.
(taken from last year. Seriously, just testing whether the fake UI prototype would fit in a smartphone isn't enough work for a year)
6. Do some work on the Race game.
(taken from last year. This could be something I could show to people and play with them, if I spend a week or two on it ... Why don't I ? )
7. Learn to cook.
(taken from last year. fuck.)
8. Do some different sport.
(I run twice a week, yay. But now, I've got big calves and that's ugly. Yay.)
9. Birthdays. don't forget them. And give presents. Seriously, a book for mom's 60th birthday.
10. Books. read some.
(taken from last year. Two books in a year clearly wasn't enough)
11. Try some more clothes. Different clothes. I know what I mean.
(yay, that's new.)
12. Don't flee this thread because you know you haven't done anything.
(more or less taken from last year. And that was not successful then.)

[Vector]

.

[Tack]

Yeah, I grew up in the "era of Ritalin", and still am unsure to this day if I may have had ADD, because doctors were so quick to diagnose it that my family just thought they were lazy/jumping to conclusions.

Then highschool came around and I had that fun little fling with bipolar which also went untreated because I thought I could "fake it until I made it".
To my continuing arrogance, I actually pulled that one off quite well, despite the ostracism of a few of my less patient friends- but those were all "acceptable losses".
But I'll never know. Maybe I was self-diagnosing, as a backlash from the ADD days.


Point being that both assuming you have mental health issues and assuming you don't are both massive sinkholes that are easy to fall into. Best person to ask about it is a psych, because GP's aren't trained to recognize when you're subconsciously trying to "push" a certain diagnosis.

Tl;dr, just drivel saying "I get that" about the special-snowflake fear.

[Vector]

.

[MaximumZero]

Aren't all of the well-known Bay12ers (myself included, oh so very much,) a little special-snowflakey? That just kind of happens when you know intimate details of a person. We've all been through different experiences, and it makes us unique, and it's impossible for us to highlight those differences without calling them out. You know, limitations of a largely text medium and all that.