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[Sheb]

I met my girlfriend naked on a bicycle. I guess that count as "everyday place".

[Helgoland]

Wait, what's the story behind that?
And which one of you was naked?

[Orange Wizard]

I love Helgoland's take on romance.

[Spehss _]

On a scale of casual to creepy, how creepy is this draft of a message I'm thinking of sending to some girl I'm interested in over facebook? No real other ways of reliable communication, don't think she gets on facebook much compared to twitter but twitter requires people to follow you before you can message them. So that's not viable. Seems like trying to initiate a conversation over facebook through an initial message and subtly gradually moving the topic of conversation to talking about plans for Valentine's Day would be best.

Spoiler: stuff (click to show/hide)

oh hey, you accepted my friend request.

so I heard you were going to [REDACTED COLLEGE HERE] too?

don't think that many people from [REDACTED HIGH SCHOOL HERE] are going here.

neat to see someone I actually know.

well, kinda know.

I know your name at least.

Don't think we ever actually talked or really interacted or anything in high school. or eighth grade middle school.

Thought maybe we could talk or catch up or something?

Message back if you're interested.

Debating whether to send that all as one single message or break it into one line per message. Actual text conversation via chatrooms tend to be line by line things, right. And sending multiple small messages would seem more likely to be noticed than one single large message. Multiple small messages make more notifications and are more likely to be noticed than a single notification for a single message, right. But on the otherhand, getting a bunch of messages at once seems creepy.

[Sheb]

Why don't you capitalize your sentences?

[Orange Wizard]

Why don't you capitalize your sentences?

+1

Unless you're like me, and use the LSP style of things on Facebook to piss off your friends.

The last line also seems a tad redundant, but what do I know.

[Spehss _]

Why don't you capitalize your sentences?

Because it's a rough draft typed up in notepad and copy-pasted into that post.

[Helgoland]

Why don't you capitalize your sentences?

Because it's a rough draft typed up in notepad and copy-pasted into that post.

Get rid of the 'I know your name at least' and that last sentence - they sound slightly creepy, and they don't give new information. Some things are best left implicit.
Otherwise you're golden.

[That Wolf]

Why don't you capitalize your sentences?

Because it's a rough draft typed up in notepad and copy-pasted into that post.

Get rid of the 'I know your name at least' and that last sentence - they sound slightly creepy, and they don't give new information. Some things are best left implicit.
Otherwise you're golden.

I agree with this.
How about you talk to her in person? I feel chatting through facebook can lead to bad results.
Its about confidence and talking through facebook is the opposite, you can also easily say stupid things that you wouldnt face to face.

Expect to lose more than you would like.
But winning is fun.
Alot of us are saying confidence is king and we arnt wrong.
Maybe she likes dwarf fortress and hunting.

[StupidElves]

So, I, like many other people I know, have a slight problem. I can give amazing relationship advice, yet when it comes to relationships I'm terrible at them. Well, I think I am. They never tend to work out too well.

Well, I've recently gotten myself into a bit of a pickle. I managed to get into a relationship that seemingly hasn't imploded and wouldn't for the foreseeable future. And then one of my friends comes out of nowhere and tells me that she loves me. I'm just going "Daspork? Where did this come from?"

I have a rule about dating friends. Don't do it. It ends with bad things happening. But now I don't want to hurt her feelings, and this other girl, well. It is nothing serious, at least I don't think it is. I am really bad at this. Anyways, the relationship with her has only been going on for a few weeks and though it didn't have signs of imploding, there have been some signs of incompatibility. Simple minor differences in ideologies that can later be magnified into a rather large argument. Learned that one from experience.

Now I'm just rumbling. Daspork do I do?

[Spehss _]

Why don't you capitalize your sentences?

Because it's a rough draft typed up in notepad and copy-pasted into that post.

Get rid of the 'I know your name at least' and that last sentence - they sound slightly creepy, and they don't give new information. Some things are best left implicit.
Otherwise you're golden.

Did that. Basically cut out lines 4 through 6.

How about you talk to her in person? I feel chatting through facebook can lead to bad results.

I would infinitely prefer talking to anyone in person rather than through facebook. However, it can be somewhat difficult talking to someone in person when you don't know them at all, don't share any classes with them, and have no idea where to possibly find them on a campus of ~35000 people.

Too late to not do the facebook thing anyway, already sent her a message. This was at, like, 1:30 in the morning. It is currently 12:30 in the afternoon of the next day. No response. Not even a flat no. Good signs.

[That Wolf]

Spehss _ dont be disheartened by the no response.
You did send it at 1:30, people can read alot into the time a message is sent, and no response is a no.

Asking in person always gets better results, even if its no you still get to hear an answer. Doing it through text or internet you can be easily ignored.
EVERYONE iv asked on person has said yes, most the people I have asked through impersonal means have said no.
And by focusing on one person can make you see past may more.

So, I, like many other people I know, have a slight problem. I can give amazing relationship advice, yet when it comes to relationships I'm terrible at them. Well, I think I am. They never tend to work out too well.

Well, I've recently gotten myself into a bit of a pickle. I managed to get into a relationship that seemingly hasn't imploded and wouldn't for the foreseeable future. And then one of my friends comes out of nowhere and tells me that she loves me. I'm just going "Daspork? Where did this come from?"

I have a rule about dating friends. Don't do it. It ends with bad things happening. But now I don't want to hurt her feelings, and this other girl, well. It is nothing serious, at least I don't think it is. I am really bad at this. Anyways, the relationship with her has only been going on for a few weeks and though it didn't have signs of imploding, there have been some signs of incompatibility. Simple minor differences in ideologies that can later be magnified into a rather large argument. Learned that one from experience.

Now I'm just rumbling. Daspork do I do?

Ok we do have a pickle here indeed.

I have no clues why she said she loves you and Im guessing it was said in a romantic way??
I can only help you with what I would do and its might help, but it will most likely confuse you.. here goes.
I would continue the relationboat I just started while being as respectful to the feeling of my friend.
But she wouldnt just say that would she?
Depends how good a friend she is, I might start thinking that she would treat you better, and that love can be quite nice to receive.
I think I can only help by telling you to think about what you actualy want. Fuck the special rules you have for not dating friends (i have one but it only applies to male friends) do what you think will help you as a person, just remember that thay are both human and have feelings prone to being hurt.

[StupidElves]

Yes, it was in a romantic way. She's a great friend, and then another problem. I rarely ever let what I want get in the way of my own decisions unless I know that it will not interfere with someone else.

[Pajama Knight]

Usually stuff like this boils down to communication and compromise.

Do you feel one way or another? Talk about it. Let her know where you're at. Don't let things fester. (I'm talking about both girls, here.)

For the friend, tell her you have a loose rule about dating friends and that you hadn't thought of her that way, so it may take some time for you to adjust. If you think she's relationship material let her know that you're open to the idea, but you want to it happen without forcing it too much. If you're exclusive with the other girl, say that you consider your integrity to be paramount but wouldn't cross the idea off at some future date should things not work out.

As for things not working out with the other girl (And this applies to all relationships), if life has taught me anything it's that certain things don't matter enough to destroy a relationship. If there's one thing that just bugs you a little bit, like she likes Taco Bell more than Taco Time, it's not the end of the world. Naturally this applies to more than just food choices, but you need to sit down and ask yourself if a relationship is worth ending over something that you could easily discuss and compromise over. It's a two way street so you both have to be willing to give a little to try to make the other person happy. It's a huge warning sign if she's completely unwilling to compromise over something little. On the flip side don't be the punk that expects everyone else to conform to your opinions. You'll never find someone who jives perfectly with every aspect of your being and it's healthy to have someone you trust challenge you from time to time.

Now, if it's something major, like she murders and drinks the blood of newborn lambs every second Thursday of the month and you cannot abide, then it's time to discuss that with her and say that it's kind of a huge deal to you that someone you date doesn't slaughter baby animals. Be open, honest, and willing to let go if she finds her beliefs as important as you find them repulsive - But for the love of God don't use that word. You want to be honest, not insulting.

Things get murkier when we get to personality quirks and physical characteristics, but the same principles apply. Just be absolutely 100% sure that it's a deal breaker before telling her that you can't stand that she nags you about small things or complain that eating a bowl of anchovies and hot sauce for breakfast every day makes her breath stink real bad and she has terrible taste in hot sauce brands. Just keep an eye out for crazy and don't go near it. If you're getting a creepy vibe that she'll stalk you for ten years before burning your house because you won't get back with her, then it's best to get out ASAP before she starts to see you as The One.

Just remember: Communication and compromise, except in case crazy. In case of crazy, just run.

[Spehss _]

Spehss _ dont be disheartened by the no response.
You did send it at 1:30, people can read alot into the time a message is sent, and no response is a no.

Asking in person always gets better results, even if its no you still get to hear an answer. Doing it through text or internet you can be easily ignored.
EVERYONE iv asked on person has said yes, most the people I have asked through impersonal means have said no.
And by focusing on one person can make you see past may more.

And by focusing on one person can make you see past may more

...Not really understanding this last line here.