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[Tomasque]

 The way this game works is that the person who posts replaces some words the sentence above with different (but similar) words. The result should be a something twisted and horrible, nothing a kind and loving person would say. Then the he/she will write their own sentence, preferably something kind or neutral, so it won't spoil the fun for the next person. Remember to be creative!

 Since I am the first person, I'll make the first sentence.

"Remember to wear your jersey for soccer, so that they won't throw you off of the team."

[MrVoid]

"Remember to wire your jersey for a shocker, so that they won't throw your guff on the beam."

"Sorry, I thought it was one word."

[Iituem]

Charles glanced at the pincushioned interrogation victims across the room, and then at his own screaming subject.  "Sorry, I thought it was one sword."

"I'm going down to the market to buy some cider."

[origamiscienceguy]

I'll go in. DARN THE MEERKATS! to die some cycles.

You are the most fantastic human being I have ever met in my whole entire life!

[Tomasque]

You are the most fantastic human, being that I have never mated in my whole entire life.


Let's go play some cards down by the pool.

[Generally me]

Let's go tie some bards down by the pool

Look it's batman

[LuckyKobold]

Look its the fat man.

I would like to have a pet horse.

[Pavellius]

"I would like to shave a pet wh*re."

"Mommy, how are children made?"

[LuckyKobold]

Mommy, I'll cut you with my blade.

I like the Wilderness.

[Generally me]

I fight the wildabeast

Attack my minions

[Yourmaster]

Attack the Monkeys!

 Cats feel soft.

[Tomasque]

Cats kill Croft.

 I like to pet animals. It feels great.

[Tawa]

I like to put animals in steel grates.

Chicken wings taste good.

[MonkeyHead]

Chicken wangs taste good.

Always remember to bring a towel.

[Lord_lemonpie]

Always remember to bring their bowels

I really like trains