I wanted to name myself Tawarochir, but it didn't fit, and I always name myself Tawa if that doesn't fit, but that was boring. I was considering naming myself Ike, but the novelty would wear off.
So then I realized that the novelty of old Batman never wears off, so now I'm Batman.
I find myself in front of a red king in a dungeon or something.
Apparently, the king here wants his Ball of Light back. Presumably he wants a good held item for his pikachu or something.
Whenever that window pops up, Batman's name becomes Batm. Such is the life of the protagonist of an NES RPG. Heck, FF let you name everybody four characters
tops. This is a huge improvement already.
Also, this is one of those Earthbound-style games where hitting A brings up a menu. Thing is, this thing doesn't have an L button or anything, so I have to do this manually.
Batman is, unfortunately, blind. That's why he needs me--I'm his seeing eye player.
Apparently, Batman possesses great magical potential, but doesn't know THE SPELL. So he's just one of those overzealous Harry Potter fans who's like twenty-three and still waiting for their acceptance letter to Hogwarts.
Batman, being blind, has to climb on top of things to feel them. Even then, he needs specific instructions to open them; otherwise, he just takes note.
Apparently, back in the day, they weren't sure how to phrase dialogue, so the whole game's dialogue is written in a sixth grader's version of Elizabethan English.
Batman couldn't be arsed to open the box and just pulverized it into nonexistence.
After getting a key and a torch, I went
downstairs. Apparently, the King (who is apparently named Lorik) saves my game for me by having me write down everything I did on the
IMPERIAL SCROLLS OF HONOR.Shit. Now I have to come all the way back here to save.
Batman takes his first step outside of the castle. I have nothing witty or interesting to add.
These people live in Brecconary. I'm going to pretend that means "five buildings" in Lorikese, because this is less of a "town" and more of a "cluster of stone boxes".
Batman needs equipment. Let's get some!
Batman has apparently been buck naked up until this point, because he needs 20$ worth of clothes. He also cannot afford a sword, so he buys a rock and pretends it's a club.
Even though Batman is blind and apparently had no clothes his whole life, he changes into them in a matter of nanoseconds after purchasing them.
Batman charges off into the unknown...
and encounters a RED SLIME.
Wait a second.
This game has Metal Slimes, if memory serves.
I WILL EMULATE METALSLIMEHUNT
I WILL
CRUSH THEM IN THE
GLORIOUS NAME OF
BAY 12I didn't get any pictures, but Red Slime here deals some serious hurt on Batman, and Batman has to trek back to the inn.
I saved on the way and encountered this poor man in a locked room. I'll fish him out of there when I get the key, poor fella.
Also, being near death apparently makes Batman bleed blood from his eyes, turning everything white red.
More olde English. This man, who runs the Magical Inn of Healing Everything, also seems to be an ancestor of Nurse Joy, because he told me he'd see me again.
I encounter a Drakee, which is apparently a cross between the letter E and a male duck. I am unsure how it leads to that. It also friggin'
hurts. I ran away.
On the way back to town to recover from the wounds of the Drakee, I met a Red Slime, who I promptly killed. I leveled up and got 6 free hit points.
I HAVE RETURNED STRONGER, DRAKEE
I WILL SALT THE EARTH, DRAKEE, FOR YOU HAVE DIED
I find a creepy dungeon that looks like it was designed by somebody who had bought Minecraft six minutes ago and wanted to randomly place blooks everywhere. I used a torch to see, but it showed me almost nothing.
Batman finds a tablet and proceeds to read it.
Apparently, nobody else in the world is capable of lighting a torch and going into a cave, because Erdrick is 100% sure I'm his grandson.
Crap, I knew this was coming. Plot coupons.
Oh yeah, Lorikbro said earlier that Erdrick killed a demon or something.
Of course, Erdrick hired some meat walls to keep the crap safe, so their sons and daughters won't wanna give it up. Typical.
I need to kill 13 more (Red) Slimes to get to Level 3, which is a problem because I barely made it out of Erdrick's First Minecraft Creation alive. There wasn't anything in it, but some more Drakees assaulted me on the way back.
Oh, yeah--ever since I became Level 2, rooming prices went up. This guy can apparently judge how strong somebody is by looking at them and jacks his prices up accordingly.
Batman gazes off at Dragon Isle as he plots to regain the last thing Lorik needs for his competitive battling team.
Author
Topic: Let's Play Dragon Warrior I: Shorter Update is Short and Grindy (Read 2835 times)