I've been bouncing this around my headspace for a few months, so here we go. It's a
CYOA-style game with a
single PC guided by the votes of the players, if for whatever reason you aren't familiar with the idea. We're going to be operating largely free of stats and numbers,
thank goodness, save for an occasional percentile die to decide the outcome of difficult actions, as it's intended in part as a writing exercise for me. There's no central plot that I'm going to railroad towards, the intention is to let you decide where to go and what to do, and then weave those actions into the locations you visit to create stories. Narrative-driven, not numbers-driven.
Wanna build an army and conquer the world? Construct a keep and hide inside for the rest of eternity playing tower defense? Spend a decade wooing some random NPC you took a liking to? Expand your horizons with magic and some really trippy drugs in an endless sequence of experimenting while you experiment? Be the dashing asshole pirate everyone loves to hate? Found a religion? Hijack a religion?
Found a cult? Become the focal point of worship for a religion? Build a magical Gundam and stomp evil and/or good and/or neutrals with your size-fuckoff shoes? Be boring and raid dungeons for loot, sell the junk, restock on supplies, wish that you were playing Diablo instead?
Sure!So without further blathering from me, let's get started.
1. What do you look like? Ugly, fetishistic, or bland? Good ol' "lazy-way-out" human, stereotypical fantasy race, or some moronic abomination that will make GM want to kill himself?
2. What are some of your broad personality traits and motivations? Are you a selfish basta- wait, who am I kidding, of course you are! Or maybe you're a rare exception with no regard for self-preservation? Of course you couldn't possibly be an actual well-rounded person with various desires, good points, and hangups, right? (Seriously though, this is your chance to define the character in a context other than your actions.)
3. What sort of life have you led? You're...
[] An urban thief, borne and bred. Like Starling Cloak, except robbing from the rich, poor, and everyone in between to give to yourself. Also, you don't live in a forest wearing tights like some bloody stupid wankers. Oi, didn't I just say not to compare us? I swear on me mum I'll stab ya mate!
[] An arcanotech tinkerer, harnessing magic to enhance your SCIENCE and creating devices to further refine your MAGIC. Who needs empiricism when you have lightning rods and uncontrollable fire!?
[] A bound champion, life pledged to a person, place, or abstract concept, a right proper unthinking dog... but any dog can slip their leash. Bow
wow.
[] A vile ravager, preying upon the weak simply because you can, not filing your taxes, and intentionally forgetting to tip. When you inevitably become boring and predictable in the first week, you'll find yourself with plentiful opportunities to become less boring, even though you'll undoubtedly ignore them in favor of more grimderp nonsense from your edgethrone in Edge Castle on Edge Avenue as part of your role as the edgiest edgelord to ever edge in the game of edgethrones.
[] A fledgling necromancer, awaiting your opportunity to unleash undead hordes upon an unsuspecting world in a completely original zombie apocalypse. No, seriously guys, I'm totally a dangerous rogue trying to destroy civilization in a fell masterstroke. Hey, stop hitting me! Let go of my hat!
[] A wizard's apprentice fresh off being thrown out in disgust by your master when you one-upped them. You're all set to build babby's first tower in a suitable isolated location, provided you can coerce the local dullards into quarrying stone, shaping blocks, and constructing it for you. Ah, you knew you should have paid more attention to those texts on golem fabrication and earth manipulation. Heh, who're you kidding, you were too busy getting plastered.
[] A city guard. Why, it's been a quiet week and your partner is only a few hours away from retirement, what could possibly go wrong?
[] A member of a holy order with a dark secret, slowly working your way up the ranks while concealing... ah, bloody hell, you're
all hiding something. Brahal's cheating on his wife, Megana murdered her brother over a tavern bill, Lenard... yeah, that poor goat.
[] An ordinary peasant dirt farmer. Expect week after exciting week of thrilling tales as you... dig up stones! Plant sustenance crops in your tiny allotment! Struggle to pay taxes! Beg passing adventurers for help and are ignored! Die of the plague! Die of malnutrition! Die of venereal disease! Die of sword! Die of spear! Die of damned near everything! Are oppressed by people what haven't got shit all over them! Have fun!
[] Something else entirely. Seriously, come up with an idea and chances are I'll run with it, unless it's against forum ToS. This is your delicious write-in option which, as always, affords you with the opportunity to come up with an idea vastly superior to the rubbish I offer.
I can't promise daily updates or whatever, but I've got about a month of free time where I'm starved for things to do, and an easy final semester of undergrad work that I'll be looking to procrastinate on, which should mean
semi-regular updates So yeah.
What's that? You want a map? Do I look like I'm made of maps!? Actually, I totally am. You get a map!
You get a map! EVERYBODY gets a map!
Might want to open it in a separate tab though because damn that's big.The title for this is definitely not 'Snark Quest'.