Most of what you ask for is already planned. Focusing on the clothing, though . . .
Having larger animals produce larger stacks of raw hide is one of the most common and long-standing requests, but I think I've yet to see a suggestion for differing strengths of said hides. It doesn't matter how many chicken skins you stitch together, they will never be thick & durable enough to make stiff, rugged, boiled leather armor. Conversely, undergarments made of cow rawhide would chafe like hell. I propose that each animal have a tag denoting the relative suitability of its leather--whether it's fit for Inner garments, Outer garments, or Armor. A somewhat more complex system would include mid-ranges between Inner & Outer, and between Outer & Armor, (leathers that fall in these ranges would be usable for both purposes) and also have larger animals drop stacks of different hide strengths: For example, a dragon might produce [8] heavy scale from its back (large plates suitable for making into Scale armor), but also [1] light scale from its throat (tiny scales flexible enough to make into a robe that moves like cloth). The Tanner's Shop would also have some control over the leather produced, in that heavier hides could be stretched, or even split, to make lighter leathers than would normally be produced.
Cloth would work much the same way, with coarser fibers such as jute and hemp being far better suited to Outer- and Cover-layer garments than things like silk. (Nobles, however, would likely demand fine silk everything.) Similarly, the Loom would have some degree of control over whether certain mid-range threads get woven into finer or coarser cloth.
Also, fur. Unhairing the fur from a skin is a refinement of the tanning process, and in most cases is a totally optional step. Forget your bear leather coat, it's cold outside, better grab your bear fur coat instead. Your raccoon-skin-cap finally has that ringed tail at the back you always wanted. And hey, good luck having your king look majestic in his ermine cape when it looks like just a bunch of poor, naked little skins sewn together. Each animal could also have a tag for whether or not its hide can be processed into fur, and for those that do, the Tanner's Shop has the choice of processing it into fur, or leather. Fur is warmer, better looking, and more expensive than leather, but a little less durable (as the tanning process is less complete) and more difficult to keep clean. For birds, a similar mechanic might be used to collect feathers. (There's a reason I was raising peacocks, dangit.)
Whether cloth, leather, or fur, all lighter materials are less durable, but more comfortable, than their heavier counterparts.
Far from thinking that clothes deteriorate too rapidly, I'd say that they don't decay fast enough. They're being worn every single day, after all. But more importantly, I would like to see clothing miasma: Clothes that haven't been washed in a while cause other dwarves to notice, causing feelings of disgust in them and shame in the wearer. (Dwarves kept completely isolated & on their own can have no such encounters, although depending on their personality traits, they might still feel ashamed of their smelly/tattered/lack of clothing, even if no one is around to see.) Dwarves will therefore want to Launder Clothes regularly--they will much prefer to have a second set of clothes to wear while doing so, to avoid the indignity of being seen washing their clothes wrapped in nothing more than a towel.