I also prefer a death penalty of some sort.
The problem with save reloading is that it can often make a hard part of the game turn into a tedious cycle of reload->die->reload->die->reload->win, which is just unsatisfying as it makes me feel like the only reason I managed to succeed was because I scummed the technical tools the game gave me. A way to solve this is to ensure the game is reasonably balanced and that you can't work your way into this situation unless you either have a way out of it (e.g. you can leave the Bosses Liar and go back to The Planes of Grinding)
permadeath doesn't really work on longer games. It's far too discouraging and I usually just end up never playing the game again. Sorry, I just don't have 100 hours/the patience to deal with that.
Randomness, or unpredictability, has to be handled carefully in video games. In IRL, there is always the possibility that a paino could fall on your head and kill you (for example). In a game, stuff like this is not fun because it ends up feeling like the player had no control over their loss, and there is little to nothing they can do to prevent a scenario like that. There is no maxima for you to find. The fun in games comes from being able to understand and solve problems, and to use gained knowledge/skill in overcomming an obstacle. Randomness should enable the game to effectively generate scenario's/situations that require the player to exercise their problem solving abilities (what actions can I perform to get to a desired state space), or to practive their skills (which is effectively the same thing, in what way do I twitch my muscles to get to the desired state space?) in a new and interesting way.
In that sense
all games are puzzle games, and in that regards what makes games fun is very much unrelated to the realism of the game. Versing 10 inexplicably weaker enemies can be a tonn of fun, and if having 10 of them makes for some interesting scenario over 1 realisticaly strong enemy, then IMO it is the better choice for a game designer to take.
Of course, personal preference will always triumph. If you prefer scenario's to be realistic, or adhere to some predetermined lore, than that's fine. I just don't think it is something that game designers should adhere to, as it may result in them ignoring other potentially fun and interesting scenario's.