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Author Topic: Off the Autobahn (TSG)  (Read 9362 times)

Prophet

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #15 on: December 15, 2014, 11:51:06 pm »

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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

flame99

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #16 on: December 16, 2014, 12:03:26 am »

What the hell is going on here.
PtW
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Prophet

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #17 on: December 16, 2014, 12:32:26 am »

((I think we are play with a romance between to men who can't agree on who should check/fix the tire.))
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Fniff

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #18 on: December 16, 2014, 10:38:30 am »

((I think we are play with a romance between to men who can't agree on who should check/fix the tire.))
(It will become clear in time.)
Suplex Claude out of the car and order him to fix. If he refuses Suplex him again
You go around the passenger door and pull Claude out of the car.
"The tire isn't working," you say.
"This was meant to be my holiday," he says.
"It was meant to be my business trip," you say.
He grumbles.
Try seduction again?
You lay a hand on his shoulder and smile.
He looks up and smiles hesitantly.
"Well, can you get the jack and a tire from the back if it is punctured?" he says.
The moon comes out from behind clouds.

LuckyKobold

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #19 on: December 16, 2014, 10:42:22 am »

Sell Claude's soul to Cthulu in exchange for wizard powers and a fixed autobahn!

Liber celi

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #20 on: December 16, 2014, 11:21:37 am »

Sell Cthulhu's soul to the autobahn in exchange for a fixed tyre and a second Claude!
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Parsely

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #21 on: December 16, 2014, 11:29:49 am »

Get the tire and jack and hand them to Claude, if he tries to make you do it then feign ignorance about tire changing procedure and go pretend to take a whiz in the woods.
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Fniff

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #22 on: December 16, 2014, 01:14:14 pm »

Sell Claude's soul to Cthulu in exchange for wizard powers and a fixed autobahn!
"Claude, would you mind if I sold your soul to Cthulhu in exchange for wizardry and the autobahn?"
"Nope."
"Really?"
"No. What do you want a motorway for, anyway?"
Sell Cthulhu's soul to the autobahn in exchange for a fixed tyre and a second Claude!
"How about selling Cthulhu's soul to the autobahn in exchange for a fixed tire and an identical clone of you?"
"How about you get on with fetching those tools?"
Get the tire and jack and hand them to Claude, if he tries to make you do it then feign ignorance about tire changing procedure and go pretend to take a whiz in the woods.
You go around to the back of the car and pop the boot. A little light shows your bags, Claude's laptop bag, and -- behold -- a spare tire, jack, and lug wrench. You present them.
"Great," he says. "Now fix it."
"I know, you use the wrench to raise the car, the jack to replace the tire, and the spare tire for entertainment," says you. "I also need to wee, so if the extreme physical effort of all this causes my legs to give out..."
"How about you forget it and go have your piss," Claude says, taking the tools. "Make those flowers grow."
You weren't lying about that, actually; you do need to take a pee.
If you don't mind me asking, when you finally walk out into the dark woods to your right, do you squat or stand as you pee?

Parsely

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #23 on: December 16, 2014, 01:29:56 pm »

Stand!
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TamerVirus

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #24 on: December 16, 2014, 01:40:39 pm »

Piss in yoga pose warrior 2
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Fniff

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #25 on: December 16, 2014, 01:43:53 pm »

Stand!
This confirms you are male.
Piss in yoga pose warrior 2
This confirms you are stupid.
Ow ow ow ow you just pulled a muscle in your leg.
You end up peeing on your legs as you fall over. Great. These were very nice trousers.
...
Did something move? You thought something moved. You were wrong.
Everything is quiet.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2014, 01:47:18 pm by Fniff »
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TamerVirus

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #26 on: December 16, 2014, 01:50:04 pm »

Take off piss soaked pants and give them to Claude
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Tomasque

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #27 on: December 16, 2014, 02:14:21 pm »

Windmill around trying to hit the strange thing.
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AoshimaMichio

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #28 on: December 16, 2014, 02:23:02 pm »

It's late night and this thread is making laugh. Damn you guys.

Windmill around trying to hit the strange thing.
Take off piss soaked pants and give them to Claude

I believe the best plan is to combine these actions. In other words: take the piss soaked pants and try to hit bushes around with them.
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Parsely

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Re: Off the Autobahn (TSG)
« Reply #29 on: December 16, 2014, 02:53:09 pm »

I believe the best plan is to combine these actions. In other words: take the piss soaked pants and try to hit bushes around with them.
+1 to windmilling the bushes with our pissy pants.
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