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Author Topic: Urist McVampire  (Read 826 times)

Zephyrous

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Urist McVampire
« on: November 25, 2014, 11:50:19 am »

A funny story about a vampire from DF2012, no mods.

I got a migrant wave in, probably my 3rd or 4th one, and in my early migrant waves, i usually take the time to view them as they stream in and I discovered one incoming dwarf to have a multitude of previous associations.  Clearly i deemed to new dwarf to be a vampire, as i was pondering on how to deal with said vampire, (about a month of game time) a minotaur appeared, and i smiled realizing the game had given me my solution.

I assigned the vampire to his own squad and equipped him with only a wooden training ax from my embark.  Naked he ran toward the beast, as i have my normal military standing by to finish the monster off, but imagine my surprise when he killed the beast.  Literally beat it it death with a chunk of wood.  Mind you, our new vampire did not escape unscathed, the minotaur apparently ripped off both his right leg and arm in the process.  The doctors dragged him back to the infirmary for medical attention (great way to train up my docs i suppose) and i never had to lock this guy away in his own room, he could barely hobble fast enough to keep up with a snail much less any dwarf, so i never had a death with him roaming the fort, well in the 2 years after he survived his beating, it fell after that from a massive goblin invasion and subsequent tantrum spiral.

Thought i would share that, one of my fondest memories of playing dwarf fortress.
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Thisfox

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Re: Urist McVampire
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2014, 10:57:45 pm »

Recently, my fort almost fell to a blind cave ogre. Both squads of fighters, heavily injured from their battles with its mate, were totally torn apart by the horrid thing, and it wandered through our dining hall, throwing kittens across the room and killing any armed dwarf it saw. Eventually, I was reduced to seven dwarfs, two of them lying half dead in the hospital.

...And suddenly, totally out of the blue,  I had a new hammerer. I was looking at the various jobs under the {u} menu when I realised it said that he was a "vampire hammerer"... I zoomed to his location, and couldn't see him (it was the bedroom wing) and then checked {u} again, and he was a normal hammerer. Hmmm.

I put him in his own squad, with weapons, and sent him to kill the beast in the dining room. Nothing to loose, right?

The Urist McVampirehammerer didn't bother with weapons. He rushed the white capital O with delight, and bit it to death. It thrashed about and broke several of his bones, but he kept on biting and biting... and killed it. He then checked into the hospital all on his own. It took him a long time to heal, but eventually a woodburner-turned-medic (one of the few uninjured dorfs) sutured him up  enough, and he has been moved into a large suite of marble rooms beside the kitchens. I intend to wall him in, seeing as he doesn't need food, and he can become our broker/bookkeeper, and stay hammerer if he wishes, in a well deserved retirement.

I've seen dorfs who weren't vampires bite the enemy to death as well. It appears that the jaw is a very effective weapon.

I love how Dwarf Fortress creates epic stories.
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Mules gotta spleen. Dwarfs gotta eat.
Thisfox likes aquifers, olivine, Forgotten Beasts for their imagination, & dorfs for their stupidity. She prefers to consume gin & tonic. She absolutely detests Facebook.
"Urist McMason died out of pure spite to make you wonder why he was suddenly dead"
Oh god... Plump Helmet Man Mimes!

utunnels

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Re: Urist McVampire
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2014, 11:05:45 pm »

Awesome. I wonder if it is possible to have a legendary biter in fortress mode.
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The troglodyte head shakes The Troglodyte around by the head, tearing apart the head's muscle!

Risen Asteshdakas, Ghostly Recruit has risen and is haunting the fortress!

Thisfox

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Re: Urist McVampire
« Reply #3 on: November 26, 2014, 05:08:47 am »

...Well, I never play Adventure or whatever, just Fortress mode, but I've never checked if my Biters are in fact legendary.

I had a cook enter the fight trance state and bite an entire goblin siege to death. She might well have made it.

Most hilarious moment ever is when someone initiates biting classes in the military training. Half a dozen dorfs standing around an armour rack participating in a biting demonstration.... It's the mental image...
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Mules gotta spleen. Dwarfs gotta eat.
Thisfox likes aquifers, olivine, Forgotten Beasts for their imagination, & dorfs for their stupidity. She prefers to consume gin & tonic. She absolutely detests Facebook.
"Urist McMason died out of pure spite to make you wonder why he was suddenly dead"
Oh god... Plump Helmet Man Mimes!

Findulidas

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Re: Urist McVampire
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2014, 05:44:44 am »

I remember a vampire engraving himself killing people on the wall, thats how I found him out before he even did anything in the fort.
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...wonderful memories of the creeping sense of dread...

Badger Storm

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Re: Urist McVampire
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2014, 12:37:35 pm »

I remember a vampire engraving himself killing people on the wall, thats how I found him out before he even did anything in the fort.

Do Darwin awards still apply to creatures who, via undeath, are exempt from natural selection?
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