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[Illogical_Blox]

Mine was from Orc Fort in Masterwork. She was my shaman, like a combo of expedition leader & doctor (I think). Well, they can make mandates, so she made a mandate to not export bolas. Well, I was fine with that, as it wasn't exactly a plan of mine to do so. After a couple of seasons, she ended the mandate. Not more than 10 seconds later, she had another mandate... also prohibiting the export of bolas. Really? I didn't even HAVE any bolas. I guess she just wanted to hedge her bets in case any were made.

Not really relevant:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Incidently, my militia commander (warchief, I should say), had a grudge against her - I'm not surprised, considering his delay in treatment. He, armed with a wooden training sword and the blood of a few wrestled-to-death turkey gobblers, had been ordered to attack a giant albatross. Turned out, they are HUGE. Reading the combat logs, he was shaken about by the foot for a while (being shaken around seems an almost sure way to lose a fight, based on the arena) before his pet war Wooly Mumak (6-tusked mammoth) attacked and killed it. He then lay in the wilderness for ages with a useless leg, surrounded by pets, before I, in despiration, created a nurse (only labour retrieving wounded.)

He was rescued, and slept before grabbing a crutch and jumping straight back into it. He was, amusingly, friends with the metalsmith who retrieved him.

[Aslandus]

I had a mayor who demanded a gold throne on a map with no gold... Needless to say, his request went unfulfilled. He also had a preference for bumblebee mead, which you can't make because you can only breed honey bees... also he was in charge when my fortress was flooded... several times...

The previous leaders of the fortress were more sensible though, requesting things like backpacks and quivers that were possible and practical, so he was actually bumping out good mayors...

[Skullsploder]

My second best soldier, a legendary axedworf in candy, got made queen because her sister was bumped off by goblins. She liked statues. Like, really liked statues. Coincidentally, so did the baron. My militia  commander. There are only so many statues you can put in a fort over the course of 10 years. Statues literally everywhere. There were enough statues to put one in every single one of the fort's 200+ bedrooms. Sounds cool but I had intended it to be a spartan fort with minimal comfort and maximum trauma, rather than  an art gallery. Plus I had to build an expansion to the forge area to accommodate a constantly working statue industry.

[Sirbug]

I still fondly remember the guy who demanded bone cabinet in his room.

[Iamblichos]

Yeah... I think my all-time worst was one who demanded a clear zircon bed.  I didn't even have clear zircons on the map.

MAGMA.

[Quartz_Mace]

This is less of an annoying Noble that I put up with, but more of a slightly bad one that I fought to get her back in her position when a near-perfect one showed up. Basically, our mayor had been with the fort from the first migration wave. She made our second artifact, which was useless but valuable, and her husband was our finest (legendary +) engraver. She would request the oddest things. She'd request training spears and I'd make them. She'd request armor stands not 5 minutes later and I'd make them. She even started having us make low boots and real spears when over %70 of our metal was imported, but I'd make them. I came to love the ridiculous mandates.

One day, during which she was running for reelection, our fort's vampire that had already claimed one life was caught in the act of sucking a farmer's blood. I paused the game, entered the justice menu and convicted him of not 1 but 2 murders, and a work violation order from one skipped mandate, just for safety. I unpause the game, and as I watch the hammerer/sheriff drag the vampire down to his jail cell, he's elected mayor. How?! He just murdered to people but managed to somehow run for mayor and win in but 10 seconds!

I vowed revenge.

He was in jail for 252 days. Around halfway through, the Liason came and told us we could become a barony. I nominated the ex-mayor for baroness, and the vampire was dethroned! The baroness recieved her bedroom, dining room, and study back, as well as a new glass tomb. After that, I just had to finish the vampire off.

He came out of prison after experiencing extreme mental trauma and craving blood. He drained our legendary mason and then, evidently not satified, took her baby's life and blood.

He would not survive.

The mason's husband, a farmer named Bëmbul, was elected the new hammerer and our vampire was convicted of his crimes. The monster was sentenced to 50 hammer strikes, chained, and I watched as justice was dispenced. Then, my raged was renewed as I saw the hammerer walk away, and a nurse take the creature to the hospital. Working quickly, I ensured that no one treated his many injuries, which I then surveyed. His arm was smashed open, his hand was broken, and all his blood-sucking teeth had been knocked out in an explosion of white. I left him there to die of an infection, but 2 weeks later, I looked at him.

He has been estatic lately.

"I WILL get you," I said, and finally, I did.

[Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum]

All of my nobles have been pretty easy to deal with...

My first one never asked for anything because he had no likes or dislikes.
My second mandated bolts quite often.
My third mandated helms and gauntlets in a fort filed with steel.
My current one has demanded a throne in his dining room, and mandates ballista parts and ballista arrows. Also he doesn't want me selling them, but that's okay.

[Urist McPanzerbeard]

This is less of an annoying Noble that I put up with, but more of a slightly bad one that I fought to get her back in her position when a near-perfect one showed up. Basically, our mayor had been with the fort from the first migration wave. She made our second artifact, which was useless but valuable, and her husband was our finest (legendary +) engraver. She would request the oddest things. She'd request training spears and I'd make them. She'd request armor stands not 5 minutes later and I'd make them. She even started having us make low boots and real spears when over %70 of our metal was imported, but I'd make them. I came to love the ridiculous mandates.

One day, during which she was running for reelection, our fort's vampire that had already claimed one life was caught in the act of sucking a farmer's blood. I paused the game, entered the justice menu and convicted him of not 1 but 2 murders, and a work violation order from one skipped mandate, just for safety. I unpause the game, and as I watch the hammerer/sheriff drag the vampire down to his jail cell, he's elected mayor. How?! He just murdered to people but managed to somehow run for mayor and win in but 10 seconds!

I vowed revenge.

He was in jail for 252 days. Around halfway through, the Liason came and told us we could become a barony. I nominated the ex-mayor for baroness, and the vampire was dethroned! The baroness recieved her bedroom, dining room, and study back, as well as a new glass tomb. After that, I just had to finish the vampire off.

He came out of prison after experiencing extreme mental trauma and craving blood. He drained our legendary mason and then, evidently not satified, took her baby's life and blood.

He would not survive.

The mason's husband, a farmer named Bëmbul, was elected the new hammerer and our vampire was convicted of his crimes. The monster was sentenced to 50 hammer strikes, chained, and I watched as justice was dispenced. Then, my raged was renewed as I saw the hammerer walk away, and a nurse take the creature to the hospital. Working quickly, I ensured that no one treated his many injuries, which I then surveyed. His arm was smashed open, his hand was broken, and all his blood-sucking teeth had been knocked out in an explosion of white. I left him there to die of an infection, but 2 weeks later, I looked at him.

He has been estatic lately.

"I WILL get you," I said, and finally, I did.

I laughed harder than maybe I should have done

[Thisfox]

I have a Champion (someone finally lost their foot, so a crutch was presented, and they were labelled champion. They lost it to a unicorn) who has demanded an iron cabinet in his room. No worries, melted down at least 20 iron anvils from the caravan by now, so I just made an iron cabinet and put it in his room. The demand remained up there though, so I absentmindedly made a second one, and put it in his bedroom too, then realised what I'd done. I'm so happy it's a demand I can fill...

My two dukes, their two consorts, and my two duchesses, and their two consorts, are harder to fulfill though. They love everything from figurines to quivers, and the fortress now has more than forty quivers in bins in the leatherworking area, due to the fact that they get demanded, then no one is allowed to sell the damn things, then they get demanded again. I've made a half dozen sets of leather armour, when the two branches of the military are all decked out in bronze and iron, so that's for no reason as well. I've got a lot -A LOT- of earrings, as no one will let me sell the goddamn things, but they keep mandating things like bracelets, so I have to keep making trade goods for the bracelets, and thus end up with bins and bins of things I'm not allowed to sell. I'm seriously considering building my first ever atom smasher. I've never ever made one, and had intended never to start, but the sheer number of useless trinkets I have been making. It would have been different if I had been allowed to choose one of these nobles myself, but they all were chosen by the game.

And don't even get me started on Mayor-of-Traction Benches. I now have four traction benches in the mayors tomb, as the hospitals are full. I am tempted to find a way for the mayor to USE said traction benches. Possibly permanently.

The worst noble, though, wasn't even one of these. It was a bloke who wanted me to make anvils. On a map with no iron. It was so damn frustrating... I wanted an anvil, and the metals, as much as he did, but we were on a gold rich, iron poor location. Bastard should have been enjoying being King Midas, but no. Eventually he was locked (first with a gold door, then a gold built wall) into his office, which was filled with gold statues, gold tables, and gold chairs (not to mention gold containers) and that was how I discovered he was a vampire, as he lived in there, safe and isolated, for years. The fort eventually died of water pressure issues, when I was learning how not to make a well. Yay.

[Kumquat]

In one fort (34.11) my second mayor was a 12yo spoilet brat girl who kept mandating large gems. Also she kept getting re-elected and mandating more large gems the very moment. I guess she was into blingbling. I put a jeweler cutting green glass on repeat there.

[Weirdsound]

Mine was from Orc Fort in Masterwork...

I got a nasty Orc Noble too in my present fort. I picked her to be my Thane because she liked statues, and statues are my preferred form of fortress decoration, but also because she was a recent migrant who hadn't been assigned a proper role in the fortress yet. Sadly, shortly after she got the appointment, the Elves, Dwarves, and a Necromancer attacked me in quick succession, and my attention was drawn elsewhere. I forgot to set up her housing in a timely manner, and learned the hard way that she is prone to tantrums when she proceeded to murder a pickaxe armed legendary miner, without receiving so much as a scratch. Yikes.

She tantrumed several times following that. For awhile I had my military tail her out of fear that she might go Bezerk on me, but she is starting to calm

[LMeire]

One time, while the goblins were still steamrolling everything, I made a fort on a distant island intended to be the last mountainhome and made a personal palace for every single one of those 27 assholes. Just to keep them from bothering me in future forts I waited until RopeSilver was the last fort with anyone important. In particular I had three that were truly "ridiculous", though one of them was only intolerable because the engravers saw fit to carve the poor dastard surrounded by mussels all over the meeting halls and it put him in a bad frequently-tantruming mood.

A-hole #1 was the lord of TinBoat, and he's on this list for demanding a bismuth bed. The map didn't even have bismuth, I only had some because I obsessively traded for as many different ores/bars/glasses as I could manage in case of a mood.

A-hole #2 was the mussel guy, I forget what he inherited, but he was described as "mighty and very agile" and killed half a dozen other dwarves by throwing furniture at them before finally going nuts and getting overrun by the wardogs. Of course, being a noble, he got away with all the murder before that happened.

A-hole #3 was the queen, she was one of the embarking engravers and she had grudges with probably a fourth of everyone in the fortress, she took a lot of long breaks even before becoming queen and I blame her for all the tantruming.

I couldn't kill any of them myself because there were still other forts the goblins could conquer and letting the positions potentially get passed back to the wilderness was counter-productive.

[wierd]

I had a noble that was crazy about armor stands. constantly mandated construction of them, and forbidding the export of them.

i took to putting them in his room.

i have a picture of the ridiculous number of them he ended up with... let me dig.

Spoiler: Here it is (click to show/hide)

[Illogical_Blox]

Mine was from Orc Fort in Masterwork...

I got a nasty Orc Noble too in my present fort. I picked her to be my Thane because she liked statues, and statues are my preferred form of fortress decoration, but also because she was a recent migrant who hadn't been assigned a proper role in the fortress yet. Sadly, shortly after she got the appointment, the Elves, Dwarves, and a Necromancer attacked me in quick succession, and my attention was drawn elsewhere. I forgot to set up her housing in a timely manner, and learned the hard way that she is prone to tantrums when she proceeded to murder a pickaxe armed legendary miner, without receiving so much as a scratch. Yikes.

She tantrumed several times following that. For awhile I had my military tail her out of fear that she might go Bezerk on me, but she is starting to calm

Yeah, in Castlemarkets I got my first important noble, a Baron. I was shocked by how fast he got furious about his lack of awesome office compared to someone else's.

[smeeprocket]

weird, I always take my time building the noble rooms.

It's definitely never top priority.