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[Girlinhat]

Urist wasn't sure why he wasn't actually given a gun like the others.
He wasn't really sure why his only gear was a single grenade.
He wasn't sure why he sat at the back while the rest of the team surrounded and secured the outside of the UFO.
He wasn't really sure why he pulled the pin on the grenade.
He wasn't really sure why the door opened, he walk inside-

[McDonald]

Urist never seemed to understand that a reaper might survive a shotgun shot from one meter away.

[werty892]

Urist had a problem, a alien was right at his hip. It was alive and dangerous, and it made him want to skip. But he was dangerous and a gunner and he knew what he had to do, so Urist fired his rocket, right at the alien dude.

[Flying Carcass]

After an intense firefight, the smell of seared alien flesh filled the air. This lead Urist to wonder what grilled alien haunch tasted like, perhaps seasoned with a steak rub to bring out its full flavor? In Urist's ignorance of xenobiology, he failed to realize there were toxin glands that needed to be removed prior to consumption, so his post-fight barbeque resulted in intense bowel evacuation and asphyxiation.

[Majestic7]

Bumping to remind people of this - only a few hours left!

[Majestic7]

Okie, I'm generous, so three copies. There were several entries I liked, more than three, so ended up doing this the old-fashioned way - rolling dice. The dice chose...

Girlinhat
Guninanrunnin
Birdy51

Congratulations to the winners! PM me an email address I can use to gift Xenonauts to you.

[Parsely]

YESSSSSSSSSS

Spoiler: da winrars (click to show/hide)

Urist wasn't sure why he wasn't actually given a gun like the others.
He wasn't really sure why his only gear was a single grenade.
He wasn't sure why he sat at the back while the rest of the team surrounded and secured the outside of the UFO.
He wasn't really sure why he pulled the pin on the grenade.
He wasn't really sure why the door opened, he walk inside-

Urist McToady, blade up heart true, but in haste forgot to tie his shoe.
Stove his head upon a block of cheese. An embarrassing fate, it doth not please.

Toady had his arms
Forgot to lay his laces
Broke his neck on cheese

On May 19th, 1984, Urist McToady's first mission happened to be the last mission for the Xenonauts.

The alien invasion was hitting it's peak, an incident that would be later known as The Day of Falling Skies. Across the globe, alien ships were mounting for a final assault to crush the last vestiges of human resistance. Many other nations including the U.S. had given up on the fight years ago, succumbing to the alien fleet. But the Soviet Union and her allies stood strong like great mother bear against the enemy. They sent their best and brightest to fight among the Xenonauts. Including Private McToady.

At this stage however; the Xenonauts had already built a force of strong and capable men worthy of the job. Their skill of arms, peerless. Their stamina, unmatched. Their spirit, unbroken after wave after wave of grey tide. So Urist McToady was not needed for several months after his arrival at headquarters. But then tragedy. In a hail of plasma fire, Urist McBadass was struck down in the line of duty. The scope of the loss for the Soviet Leaders and Xenonaut Generals was great; Urist McBadass had proven himself to be the greatest asset that the Earth had seen in one man. His death left a hole in the hearts of many and in the Xenonaut roster. As the Xenonaut General looked over his roster, he considered his choice carefully for someone to replace the legend among men.

Twas Urist McToady who would fill the gap.

The next day, the aliens pressed the assault for the greatest warrior earth had ever known was dead. A battle to end all battles. As spacecraft and mancraft battled over Europe, Urist McToady and the brave force of Xenonaut storm the alien mothership. Little Urist does not panic at the tide and holds his machine gun high with fervor. Many he helped to kill with a steady stream of iron rippling forth from the maw of his chosen weapon.

But alas! As they neared the Bridge, the veterans numbers were already dwindling. Urist McSniper and Urist McDemoman had both fallen to enemy plasma fire, and Urist McBoomstick panicked at an inopportune time and was subjected to a rather nasty death by sharp teeth. Now they had to breach the bridge and end this once and for all. Brave Urist McToady would place the breaching charges. The door went boom with a might crash. Plasma fire issued forth into the hallway like a blue river of death. Urist McToady braved the assault with his machine gun true and returned fire. Inspired by his braveryism, the rest of the squad piled in as well. After an exchange that left four more Xenonauts dead, the enemy was defeated. But the war was not one. The destruction of the Mothership was the only way.

The remaining team members quickly went about rigging explosives that they had to pry from Urist McDemoman's cold dead hands. Once the bombs were set, they ran to the Skyranger. By now, other aliens had landed as well however, their energy weapons poised to kill the intruders. Urist McToady knew what he had to do. Taking up a defensive position against the alien tide, he resolved himself to holding off the enemy off until the Skyranger had escaped. Armed to the teeth with more bullets than any one dwarf should carry, he held the line against the alien tide. But as she Skyranger lifted off into the sky and escaped from the belly of the Mothership, a stray bolt of plasma caught Urist in the shoulder. His position was being over run. With fearsome teeth bared, the alien charged at Urist for the kill. Urist smiled.

Moments later, the alien mothership had exploded over Europe. The resulting country side was littered with alien alloys that would eventually make many poor subsistence farmers rich off of the money made from selling it. Seeing the mothership defeated in such a manner destroyed the morale of the alien forces and they were forced to retreat from the Earth's atmosphere out of pure fear. But Urist McToady, along with seven other members of the squad were now dead. And yet it was a not a pyrrhic victor. Their brave sacrifices had saved the world. On his first and last mission with the Xenonauts, Urist McToady saved both the Soviet Union and the World. Masterwork Statues would be dedicated in his honor in mead halls across the world and engravings of his braverism would immortalize his memory for generations to come.

For in the hour of his death, Urist McToady was not afraid. Urist McToady smiled. He died a death worthy, nay worthier than that of Urist McBadass.

A Legendary Death.

[birdy51]

Mrrrr... Yay! Thanks for running this Majestic.

I will have fun with this one!

[Parsely]

I'm really excited to try this. I've been playing oldcom for years and people keep telling me how great this one is.

[birdy51]

I've played a bit of a XCom spin-offs, but I've never played any of the game themselves. So this shall be interesting. ^.^

[andrea]

If you liked the old game and wanted a modernized version.... xenonauts is great. Some quality of life improvements are really great.
For example, you don't have to buy your standard ballistic rifles and ammunition, they are provided free and unlimited ( also, grenades and rockets). ( note: advanced tech still needs manufacturing).
Soldier loadouts are saved and you can use both default and custom classes to quick equip soldiers ( classes are merely equipment loadouts, don't worry)

the economic balance is very different however: manufacturing is now unprofitable, you are meant to get your funding through raiding UFOs and nation funding.
Lack of human psionics also limit the effectiveness of your late game soldiers. Not that they aren't extremely powerful by then, just not so much that you have nothing to fear from elite enemy troops.

Graphics is a bit better: better resolution and , even if this is subjective, quite stylish.
The cover system, even if slightly odd at times, is a significant improvement on the old game, fire fights become more tactical.

oh, and diffuculty is suitably high on veteran and above.

Bottom line: congratulations on winning guys, now go and play!

[Parsely]

I've played a bit of a XCom spin-offs, but I've never played any of the game themselves. So this shall be interesting. ^.^

Ohhhh buddy, you've gotta try oldcom or newcom+long war if you get the chance!

[Girlinhat]

Glory be.