Round 8: Flight of the SalsaSalsacookies is in a cool fighter jet, so why not bomb the shit out of some people? A sweep of the surrounding area reveals Execute and his army of Juggalos marching down the street towards the center of town. Salsacookies flips a few switches and lets loose with the air-to-surface missile supply. [9 VS. 2] There's not any cover for the Juggalos in the middle of the road, so the first wave of missiles utterly decimates their ranks. Limbs and entrails of Juggalos mix with the Faygo spraying everywhere in the midst of the explosions. Execute flees in a panic, but the second batch of missiles catches him and a group of fellow Juggalos, turning them into an unrecognizable pile of evil clown parts. When Salsa completes his attack, the few remaining Juggalos disperse, running into the woods.
Execute and his Juggalo Army have been tactically strike'd by Salsacookies!
He Gains the Article: Royal Aruban AirlinesNAV haggles with the pawn shop owner but ultimately decides to keep her chair. She drags her children outside, looking for a payphone, only to find that they've become extinct here as well (if Crettyard, a hamlet of 1,337 people, ever needed a payphone in the first place). She finds a public phone in a nearby community center, so that's close enough, and she doesn't even have to pay. [6] Unlike Micelus's loser right-wing nationalist friends, NAV is able to get a hold on a few ex-IRA buddies she knew from back in the day. After explaining her cause, they agree to come to Crettyard and will arrive in town in [1 Turn].
Micelus tells the bureaucrat about how several different armed forces have landed in Crettyard, and that the army has to come soon and stop this, otherwise the American airstrike will kill everyone in...the phone line suddenly goes dead. Those guys at the national office sure can be assholes sometimes. In other news, Micelus also gets cleared for release from the hospital.
Person and his squadron move on out, down the ladder on the restaurant rooftop and begin scouring the streets looking for combatants, with a priority to anyone armed. Person spots NAV in the community center talking on the phone, and identifies her as a combatant. One of the soldiers reacts with surprise, "Shit, really? That's just some lady with two kids. Is that what you're up against? If this is your competition, this shit should be easy," he says with a snicker. Snickering is cut short when a loud series of explosions rocks the surroundings. The squad looks down the road and sees a combat jet flying around from a bunch of debris. Lieutenant Daniels looks at the aircraft with through his extended scope, "That looks like a F/A-18 Hornet. How the fuck-?"
Kevak looks around at all the surrounding bullshit. After seeing the Juggalos getting wrecked by a jet, he decides the best course of action is to run for the countryside and not look back. [4] He runs and gets a little bit away from all the chaos but is still in Crettyard's Hamlet limits. He bends over, panting; maybe he should have taken more Cardio-building classes instead of Advanced River Construction and Polish War Tactics.
[3] The sweet porridge retracts further into the school.
Sacrifice: +2 WWE-Wrestling Moves. Become Professional Wrestler.
Memoirs of a Geisha: +2 Seduction.
Covering the Senne: +2 Construction over Rivers.
Czesław Piątas: +2 Military Strategy. Gain General's Uniform, General's Pistol, and become a Polish General.
Smoke Two Joints: Gain Bag of California Kush.
Status: Normal
Assets: General's Uniform, General's Pistol, Bag of California Kush, Switchblade Pistol, Six-Shooter
Author
Topic: Wikipedia Article Warfare [Round 10: Alliances] (Read 21005 times)