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[micelus]

If I can't gather the nationalists of Ireland, then I'll try a different route. Call up the Irish government and tell them that there is a terrorist attack (there basically is) at Crettyard.

[Person]

"We're primarily here to find out precisely who or what is behind these... tournaments, and if possible, put a stop to them. Such things are highly classified, but we have intelligence that suggests that in the past, a low yield nuclear weapon was fired during one of these events. If that sort of thing continues, it could have devastating worldwide consequences. We'll likely see combat with the other contestants, and our goal will be to end this one as soon as possible. Understood?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Not sure if this is exactly okay to do. I feel like these events would leave some sort of data behind, especially with mister nuclear bazooka being taken in by Bangladesh police in the last one. Obviously the winner is undefined, but other than that, I see little problem with it. It just means someone other than me(even Kevak in this very round) might be able to exploit it in the future unless other tournaments are specifically separate universes.

[TCM]

"We're primarily here to find out precisely who or what is behind these... tournaments, and if possible, put a stop to them. Such things are highly classified, but we have intelligence that suggests that in the past, a low yield nuclear weapon was fired during one of these events. If that sort of thing continues, it could have devastating worldwide consequences. We'll likely see combat with the other contestants, and our goal will be to end this one as soon as possible. Understood?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Not sure if this is exactly okay to do. I feel like these events would leave some sort of data behind, especially with mister nuclear bazooka being taken in by Bangladesh police in the last one. Obviously the winner is undefined, but other than that, I see little problem with it. It just means someone other than me(even Kevak in this very round) might be able to exploit it in the future unless other tournaments are specifically separate universes.

There's no problem with it, and there's no rules saying that you can't fight against the tournament itself, though it's not an objective of the game either.

[Person]

Okay then, was just checking to be sure. I probably won't actually make any progress towards trying to fight against the tournament itself, nor do I really intend to. Its mostly a handy excuse. Honestly, there's obviously (from the outside at least, the inside not as much) supernatural stuff going on that can't be stopped. Won't stop my character from investigating after the thing is over, assuming they actually survive, and that would probably all be mostly off screen anyway.

[TCM]

Round 7: Faygo Fiasco

Execute stands back and watches his Juggalo Army swarm Salsacookies' combat jet. He looks at the bottle of Faygo in his hand and thrusts it into the arms of a passing Juggalo, pointing the windshield of the Hornet. The Juggalo nods, and rushes forward shaking the soda bottle in his hands to build up carbonation. When he's close enough, he points it to his target and removes the bottle cap. [1] The Juggalo misjudges the arc of the spray, and instead of landing on the jet, it instead sprays all over the place, especially into the faces and eyes of other Juggalos who drop their weapons and stop their charge, instead blindly stumbling around and following over, some screaming as the almost-acidic properties of Faygo wreak havoc on their eyes and facepaint.

Salsacookies watches one Juggalo single-handily stop the attack on his jet by spraying soda into their eyes, shrugging at the bizarreness of Juggalo rituals. This provides him with an uncontested takeoff, so he turns the jet by about ninety degrees and begins moving away from the Juggalos, following the street until his jet picks enough lift to take to the air. Soon he is soaring through the Irish skies.

Micelus, disappointed by the ineptitude of right-wing Irish nationalist, uses the hospitals phone system to call up the government and inform them of a national security threat going on in Crettyard. The bureaucrat on the other side insists for Micelus to be more detailed in describing exactly what the attack is instead of just vaguely referring to it.

Person describes his plan to his squadron in which they'll end this tournament as fast as possible. One of the soldiers takes a look-out point over the edge of the building, keeping an eye out in case a combatant discovers them and tries to attack. Lieutenant Daniels asks Person, "General, who or what is our first objective? I understand that most of these Tangos are going to look a lot like civies...."

[3] The sweet porridge stops expanding and even retreats a bit into the school...

Spoiler: Kevak (click to show/hide)

Sacrifice: +2 WWE-Wrestling Moves. Become Professional Wrestler.
Memoirs of a Geisha: +2 Seduction.
Covering the Senne: +2 Construction over Rivers.
Czesław Piątas: +2 Military Strategy. Gain General's Uniform, General's Pistol, and become a Polish General.
Smoke Two Joints: Gain Bag of California Kush.

Status: Normal
Assets: General's Uniform, General's Pistol, Bag of California Kush, Switchblade Pistol, Six-Shooter

Spoiler: Execute/Dumbo.exe (click to show/hide)

Dowty Group: +2 Planes, Flying, Repairing and Manufacturing.
Roman Catholic Diocese of Orléans: +2 Prostlization, become a French Catholic Priest.
Vino de Pago: +2 Wine Knowledge, Gain Bottle of Fine Spanish Wine.
Martta Koskinen: +2 Seaming and Spying.
Janusz Andrzej Zakzerwski: +2 Nuclear Physics.
Juggalo Gangs: -5 Rapping, Gain Hatchet, 2-Liter Bottle of Orange Faygo, Become Juggalo Ability: Juggalo Swarm.

Status: Torso Trauma, Torso Cuts: Minor Bleeding
Assets: Bottle of Fine Spanish Wine, Hatchet, Juggalo Army
Ability: Juggalo Swarm

Spoiler: NAV (click to show/hide)

Russian Musical Society: +2 Classic Music and Education, Become member of Russian Musical Society.
Emma Johnson: +2 Blogging, +1 Finance.
The Twelve Chairs: Gain Bejeweled Chair.
James Laurence Carew: +2 Politics, become Irish Nationalist.
Mite Box: Gain Mite Box.

Status: Normal
Assets:  Bejeweled Chair, 2 Children, Mite Box, $30 (PayPal), $19

Spoiler: Salsacookies (click to show/hide)

McDonnell Douglas F/A-18 Hornet: Gain McDonnell Douglas F/A-18 Hornet Combat Jet.
Ed Coleman: +2 Sports Radio Broadcasting.
Operation Seagull I: +2 Espionage, gain Parachute.
Noir de Golzinne: Gain Chunk of Belgian Black Marble.
Bothy: Gain Map to nearby Bothy.
Andrew Simmons: +2 Wrestling, Gain Finishing Move: Running Powerslam

Status: Bruised/Shocked Sternum, Neck Annoyed
Assets: McDonnell Douglas F/A-18 Hornet Combat Jet, Parachute, Map to Bothy.
Finishing Move: Running Powerslam

Spoiler: micelus (click to show/hide)

Oman Medical College: +2 Medicine, become Omani Doctor.
National Zeitung: +2 Extreme-Right Fervor, become Extreme Nationalist.
Venomous Snake: Ability: Venomous Bite
Sweet Porridge: Gain Little Pot of Infinite Sweet Porridge.
Zzoom: Gain Anti-Vehicle Gun/Missile System.

Status: -Recovering (1 Turn)-
Assets: 
Ability: Venomous Bite

Spoiler: High Tyrol (click to show/hide)

Anthony Emmett: +2 Military Engineering
Yardley of London: +3 Perfume & Cosmetics Business.
Ralph Lauren: +5 Fashion Design.
Medium Machine Gun: Gain Medium Machine Gun.
Ramon Castroviejo: +4 Eye Surgery.
Benjamin W. Chidlaw: +2 Aviation & Aerial Combat

Status: Normal
Assets: Medium Machine Gun [24/50]

Spoiler: Person (click to show/hide)

Monica Larner: +2 Wine Knowledge.
Simone Michel-Lévy: +2 Espionage, become member of French Resistance.
Charles Robert Barry: +2 Law.
David A. Barmlett: +3 Military Strategy. Gain General's Pistol and Uniform, become U.S. Army General.
Lote Tuqiri: +2 Rugby Maneuvers, become Professional Rugby Player.

Status: Normal
Assets: General's Pistol [8/8], General's Uniform, Squadron: Lieutenant Daniels + 5 Privates

[High tyrol]

ops

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

'Whu...
Ho...
How. Just, how.'
Okay,  everyone, TO THE HOSPITAL! It'll provide good cover and treatments!

[Person]

"We'll probably go for the ones that are visibly armed first, and ideally we'll be able to get a surrender out of the rest. Still, we shouldn't expect it to be so easy. Let's start moving back into the field. We'll keep the helicopter with us, of course." Find some combatants to fight against.

[Salsacookies]

Find somebody to blow up with missiles from my cool plane.

[TCM]

Begin speaking like a sports radio guy on the military radio. Tell them that the Juggalos are in town, and that they are armed and drunk

You don't have access to the military radio, which is honestly a good thing because you're a non-soldier flying around in an unregistered combat jet and identifying yourself would be very awkward at best.

[NAV]

Wake up from my daze. By a shotgun and a bunch of shotgun ammo from the pawn shop. Gotta protect my childrens.

[TCM]

Wake up from my daze. By a shotgun and a bunch of shotgun ammo from the pawn shop. Gotta protect my childrens.

Ireland has incredibly strict gun laws, and strict weapon laws in general. You could pick up a (small) knife, non-lethal weapons or improvised weapons. You could also try black market shopping for that sort of stuff.

[~Neri]

Darn thing didn't notify.

Flee into the countryside.

[micelus]

Tell the bureaucrat that there are Polish, American French nationals armed with guns destroying the town and if they don't get here soon, the town's gonna blow up; the Americans have launched a airstrike.

[NAV]

Decide not to sell the chair. Find a payphone and call for support from my fellow Irish nationalist party members./b]