Personally I just want to build and create, maybe roleplay after I get my base set up and not have to do battle until I want too.
I want my dwarves to be able to use seeds even if they are in a barrel.
I want to easily quantum stockpile my stuff if I can figure that out by item name without having to go through every item and maybe it will work, maybe it won't.
I want to play Mastercraft but I want to dig down like I do in regular Dwarf Fortress.
I don't want to go in hermit mode or warrior mode without choosing this and having this choice not sprung upon me.
I want my stuff to go where I want it to go and work the way I have read and watched it work.
I want the ls not zoom so fast by I can't see which commands I can use on dfhack.
I pick my parameters and everything careful but something has went terribly awry.
Two embankments everyone died within seconds most crushed by all the supplies and mishap thinking
certain explosive pet might be helpful, three rescue attempts I gave up.
All I notice is in dfhack it said "error on evil" a whole tons of times listing various monsters.
I am feeling bit frustrated.
I generate short worlds.
I have my settings for no invasion, but I guess that doesn't include death by wagon full of supplies twice.
I wish there was mod for what I want to do but I will confess this mod is better than ones I have been attempting to play the last month.
Maybe I am asking to much:(
Tell me I am I will give up now.
Well, a lot of what you ask are actually working just as in vanilla, so not sure how to answer those.
The ones I marked in green, specifically, are all things that are most definitely feasible, and the dfhack "ls" thing, you can just scroll up, so I'm not sure what's wrong with this for you.
Now, for the not getting attacked until you wish for it, if you don't make too much wealth until you finished your walls and a safe-ish caravan access, you would only have to worry about flying enemies, and potentially swimming ones, both being somewhat rare.
If you make clever use of all the tools you have, you can make it so that only 3 squares of the edge have any ground access to your fort, by putting walls all the way to the edge (impossible in vanilla).
For the world generation, I would tell you to pick one of the presets that are not the vanilla ones, depending on your tastes, they work fine most of the time, or to search around a bit, someone made an extensive research on what parameters to use to generate valid worlds without them being created by "perfect world".
As for the dfhack spam and death of your caravans instantly, it could be due to where you embark too, some of the bad weather on the evil regions could make every living die on contact.
Also, I gather that english is not your primary language (it's not mine either, before you start hitting), because some of your formulations are a bit odd and lack a few words, so I am not certain I understand all this wagon crushing people problems.
For the green things, I'd advise to look around a bit more, especially the part for choosing the race, which is a combo of enabling "Fort" only the races you might play on the launcher, and a vanilla manipulation when choosing your site, to select your race.
Lastly, "I want my stuff to go where I want it to go and work the way I have read and watched it work.", I interpreted as "I want my stockpiles to work like I want them to.", but I think that you are still not very familiar with the 't' menu when you are setting your piles (and I think it's 'q' when they are set), as well as the whole 'g'ive and 't'ake options (they are not that easy to master).
What was your specific problem on this?