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[3man75]

I've been having problems with confidence in myself lately.

For starters I've always thought of myself as smart and knowledge but I recently had to withdraw from a math class because the Fs on the test were not going to let me pass. ((Withdrawing makes it so your gpa does not get touched.))

Another thing is that I'm 20 almost 21 and I've never had a relationship with any girl above friends. My step mother has said that my looks are fine but that my approach needs work, Something my Dad agrees with. I just don't know how to get better at it and I don't want to be seen as creepy an have a restraining order on me...that'd just suck.

I'm not suicidal and I don't think I'm depressed but I do feel like I'm in a slump. One that I've been in having many times in the past. Any advice from the good Samaritans out there.

[~Neri]

A big thing you need to remember is that everything will eventually get better if you push onwards long enough. I don't really have any suggestions for short term, but longterm, just keep hope.

[Vector]

.

[Xantalos]

Basically, just keep trying. I'm in much the same position as you and pretty much the best thing you can do is to just keep trying to make things better - eventually, things will work out.

Basically what Vector said.

[LordBucket]

I've been having problems with confidence in myself lately.

Any advice

Standard advice: go to a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself that you're awesome. Say it aloud: "I'm awesome. I'm sexy. I'm actually very good looking and I'm an all around fantastic person. I know what I'm doing and I know what I'm talking about."

It might feel silly. Keep doing it, five minutes at a time, every night until it doesn't feel silly anymore. Keep doing it until you believe it.

Extra credit: when you go to bed every night, do the same thing until you fall asleep.

[PiotraperPL]

I've been having problems with confidence in myself lately.

Any advice

Standard advice: go to a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself that you're awesome. Say it aloud: "I'm awesome. I'm sexy. I'm actually very good looking and I'm an all around fantastic person. I know what I'm doing and I know what I'm talking about."

It might feel silly. Keep doing it, five minutes at a time, every night until it doesn't feel silly anymore. Keep doing it until you believe it.

Extra credit: when you go to bed every night, do the same thing until you fall asleep.

Additional extra credit: Do it also when you are walking somewhere. But not out loud obviously, just think about how awesome you are. (protip: you are)

It did help me, and all it takes is just a bit of motivation to change yourself. And it doesn't even take up that much time.

[Arx]

Related but different, walk with your head high and your back straight. It's a habit I've been drilling into myself as part of generally feeling good about my social abilities, mostly. It works surprisingly well, or at least did for me.

[miauw62]

If you ever need to convince yourself to do something, remember that you'll probably have more regret about not doing it than you'd have about doing it. That's basically all the help I can give, but it works for me.

[LordBucket]

If you ever need to convince yourself to do something, remember that you'll probably
have more regret about not doing it than you'd have about doing it.

Key word: "probably." Some "just do it" moments have the potential to have very far reaching consequences for the rest of your life. Getting someone pregnant, getting married, adopting a child, having sex with a stranger. I'm not advocating living in fear, but it's sometimes beneficial to temper courage with wisdom.

[a1s]

If you ever need to convince yourself to do something, remember that you'll probably
have more regret about not doing it than you'd have about doing it.

Key word: "probably." Some "just do it" moments have the potential to have very far reaching consequences for the rest of your life. Getting someone pregnant, getting married, adopting a child, having sex with a stranger. I'm not advocating living in fear, but it's sometimes beneficial to temper courage with wisdom.

Good specific advice is often bad general advice. In this specific case: Do more stuff. If you're anything like me (I distinctly remember the horror of failing my first differential equation class, after being the "math wiz" all through high school. And I didn't date way after 20) you probably won't do any bad stuff anyway (and the riskier half of the good stuff, either) so just try to do more. As long as you don't commit a felony, have your health and your passport nothing will ever be beyond repair (I know that sounds cheesy and I could never get the courage to move to South America to avoid a giant FUBAR, but try to think like you would).

[Ancalagon_TB]

Some of us are late bloomers - my first gf was when I was 23.  I've had no problems later on in my dating life - at least, no more problems than the average person ha!  The pressure to date is probably making things worse.  When you are ready it will happen.

At 20, yes you are an adult - but that doesn't mean you are now done and will never change or improve.  There is tremendous self-grown *and* neural development that occurs in the 20s.  This grown will help you gain more self-confidence, both with dating and in life in general.

[smeeprocket]

I've been having problems with confidence in myself lately.

For starters I've always thought of myself as smart and knowledge but I recently had to withdraw from a math class because the Fs on the test were not going to let me pass. ((Withdrawing makes it so your gpa does not get touched.))

Another thing is that I'm 20 almost 21 and I've never had a relationship with any girl above friends. My step mother has said that my looks are fine but that my approach needs work, Something my Dad agrees with. I just don't know how to get better at it and I don't want to be seen as creepy an have a restraining order on me...that'd just suck.

I'm not suicidal and I don't think I'm depressed but I do feel like I'm in a slump. One that I've been in having many times in the past. Any advice from the good Samaritans out there.

Your age with regards to relationships is not entirely abnormal. Some people are more cautious and want to find the right person. Dear god, just don't go to some PUA website to tell you how to behave. Remember, each woman is different. If you are interested in a woman, say something, politely.

It might help, if you don't already, to be careful not to place women on an unreachable pedestal. It's unfair to them, because no woman is perfect, and it will give you the impression that they are unobtainable, making you that much more nervous and uncomfortable. (Or angry and bitter, some guys go that route.)

Incidentally, what math class was it? Was it because you didn't understand the material at all? Did you try a tutor? Sometimes you have to work really hard at math, but it pays off in spades.

I think you wrote previously asking about a decision about your major. It's possible you are just going through some of the transitional, indecisiveness that comes at that age.

Anyway, there's no reward for dating people before a certain age. Do you socialize much though? If you aren't around other people, especially new people, you won't have anyone to ask anyway.

Also, my advice, be crazy careful about protection with regards to sex. I got out of the dating world at 15, and I am happy I did. There's all kinds of STDs crawling around out there.

[Caz]

Also, my advice, be crazy careful about protection with regards to sex. I got out of the dating world at 15, and I am happy I did. There's all kinds of STDs crawling around out there.

^ This. Most clinics give out condoms, dental dams etc free of charge. Also stops the worst STD of all: children.

[smeeprocket]

Also, my advice, be crazy careful about protection with regards to sex. I got out of the dating world at 15, and I am happy I did. There's all kinds of STDs crawling around out there.

^ This. Most clinics give out condoms, dental dams etc free of charge. Also stops the worst STD of all: children.

god yea, unplanned kids will ruin your life. Say goodbye to college or a real career.

[3man75]

It's called mac 1105.It's basically algebra and I used and abused tutoring in my school l.

I never got even a D in on exam, always Fs. Right now im studying for it until I take it again next fall but my confidence has been ripped apart to the point where I doubt I can major in economics or anything math related. Which is bad as everything looks math intensive. I'm thinking about getting certified in computer stuff and maybe getting a job in my college as tech support until I can go up the wage ladder.

I'm not around alot of new people no. Basically co workers, customers, and people in my neighborhood. I'd get out more but I don't have a car.

As for women,  I do put them on a peddle stool and I find myself having a hard time not having a super serious face. One time I went to a comic convention and despite the alluring costumes ( I know I know not what there for) an I couldn't nit be serious. I guess that's what 4 years of JROTC an aspirations to join do to you.