She needs to be cheered up. Order all the kids to go in the hallway and laugh at her until she feels better. Laughter is the best medicine, after all.
You send all the children into the hall, ordering them to laugh at the girl to cheer her up. She continues crying, and is trying to open the exit door.
((Yep. We really really are.))
Ask Prophet and Tawarochir to stand up.
((I assume that we at least now the names of the children we are teaching.))
You shout it out loudly, scaring a few of them, but all the children are already standing! You still aren't sure who's who.
OD the rabbit with sleeping pills.
You run back into the room and give the rabbit about half a can of your sleeping pills. It keels over.
Look, as fun as this is, we can't lose another job. Just pick up the book of icepicks (mmm, that brings back memories) and read one at random.
You pick up the book and flip to a random page. It says that asking for everyone's favorite color is one of the best icebreakers.
Teach them calculus.
As you run back into the hall, you notice that the boy who raised his hand when you asked if anyone had dead parents is still in there, sitting on the floor. You shrug and go to try to teach the others calculus. They seem very confused, and a few more look like they're going to cry.
Take our medicine. We get weird without it after all.
You try to take a few of your pills, but your other hand keeps trying to give them to children.
Before we can take the medication, grab it with the hand kj isn't using and empty the whole bottle of pills into some kid's mouth.
Your other hand tries to grab a few of the pills and stuff it into some random boy's mouth but is interrupted.
Before we can take the medication, grab it with the hand kj isn't using and empty the whole bottle of pills into some kid's mouth.
Fight the the other hand for dominance in a thumb wrestling match. TO THE DEATH!
...
God dammit, we need those pills.
Your hand autonomously assaults the other, jabbing its thumb into it repeatedly. Now you can't feel that hand. Great. You still pop a few pills though. Everything seems slightly more colorful, and to move a bit slower.
Talk at length about dead parents.
You horrify the children about the ways that parents can die, and three more of them start sobbing. You monster.
Open book.
Retrieve icebreaker, also known as ice pick.
Slip into pocket.
For now.
You retrieve your ice pick hidden in the secret compartment of the book and put it into your belt loop.
Teach alphabet.
You start sweetly singing the alphabet, and they all looked thoroughly scared and weary of what you'll be doing next.
Tell kids that nothing matters because they will never be nothing so it doesn't matter. Force them to do busy work like copying the book.
As soon as you reach Z, you shout at them that nothing they do will ever matter and you throw the book at them, commanding them to copy every single page.
Teach alphabet.
Silly Aedel! You learn that stuff in kindergarten! Teach them addition and subtraction.
They seem very confused at what you want them to do.
Teach alphabet.
Silly Aedel! You learn that stuff in kindergarten! Teach them addition and subtraction.
Scrubs. These are geniuses.
Teach them quantum mechanics 101.
All you receive are blank stares, blank watery-eyed stares.
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Topic: You are a Teacher (Read 11500 times)