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[Eric Blank]

Turn the floor into caltrops. Caltrops everywhere!

Also, impale whoever rescued the PERSON.

[tntey]

Create a picture with MOVING EYES

[flame99]

Rewind time x100000000000000 speed

Then reenact the scene, minus the part where they get rescued, which is replaced with a gory, bloody death

time is rewound
the PERSON AND CO. are once more in the room
you repeat the reenactment, but replace the rescue scene with a death scene
it is gory indeed
you are now covered in blood.

what do?

[Tawa]

Clean self.

[tntey]

Clean self, expand 1000 feet.

[blazing glory]

Fill self with lots of gold and await victims.

[Prophet]

Fill self with coffee god worshiping goblins to protect the gold from our next party of victims adventurers.

((Hi flameboy.))

[Ultimuh]

Expand NEXT ROOM into a hallway, keep stretching making NEXT EXIT further and further away from person.
Also make upwards stairway to loop indefinitely, apply looping tune as well.

[flame99]

Clean self.

Clean self, expand 1000 feet.

you clean YOU, twice at that
you then expand yourself by 1000 feet, increasing to to 1000 feet from your previous 0 feet

Fill self with lots of gold and await victims.

you are now filled with GOLD
no VICTIMS have arrived yet

Fill self with coffee god worshiping goblins to protect the gold from our next party of victims adventurers.

((Hi flameboy.))

the GOBLINS worship their GOD OF COFFEE
his name is KNOTON
the GM confirms that this is the same KNOTON from THE WAR OF THE ELEMENTS, though you don't know anything about that
the GM blatantly ignores your DOUBLE PARENTHESIS and greets you
in character
god, that guy's a dick

Expand NEXT ROOM into a hallway, keep stretching making NEXT EXIT further and further away from person.
Also make upwards stairway to loop indefinitely, apply looping tune as well.

the NEXT ROOM is now a hallway containing an ENDLESS STAIRCASE
however, the PERSON has been squished, and you cannot tantalize him with SWEET, SWEET ESCAPE!

a splinter faction of the GOBLINS has formed, who worship the GOD OF SNARK
his name is CAIN
the CAINITES and the KNOTIANS are waging brutal WAR!
NUKES are being researched on both sides
COLD WAR is soon to develop

the GM remarks that this was supposed to be a simple minimalist game
now HE is keeping notes
dammit guys

[Prophet]

Destroy all the their research on NUKES! Spawn swords and spears for them.

[Tawa]

STEAL their NUKE research

then ABUSE their NUKES and DESTROY them all

[flame99]

Destroy all the their research on NUKES! Spawn swords and spears for them.

the NUKE RESEARCH has been destroyed
MEDIEVAL MARTIAL WEAPONS have been spawned
BOTH FACTIONS are now wielding MEDIEVAL MARTIAL WEAPONS

STEAL their NUKE research

then ABUSE their NUKES and DESTROY them all

you cannot steal nor abuse the NUKE RESEARCH, as you have destroyed it!

the KNOTIONS are rallying a CRUSADE to crush the CAINITES!

the CAINITES have named a CHAMPION!
his name is URIST MCKILLY

URIST MCKILLY has found the FLESH KEY!
URIST MCKILLY has discovered the vast magical powers of the FLESH KEY!

for SUSTENANCE, BOTH FACTIONS have begun hunting YOUR TENTACLES!
it kinda hurts

[GentlemanRaptor]

Invite new PERSON to the room

[Prophet]

Spawn Pigs for the goblins to hunt.

[Migue5356]

Steal FLESH KEY from URIST MCKILLY.