Survey people about how the restaurant could improve.
[6] People generally agree that if YOU KILLED YOURSELF or were killed in an UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT, that would mean that everyone WOULD PROBABLY GO TO CHEZ LA CHEZ.
...
Well. This is VERY DISTRESSING. So is the MOB OF PEOPLE WITH PITCHFORKS AND TORCHES. You had no idea you were so hated by the COMMUNITY. This may be related to that time you CRASHED A FUNERAL OF A BABY TO ASK EVERYONE ABOUT CHEZ LA CHEZ.
I am the drug dealer in the alley that CHEZ LA CHEZ is next to. Sell drugs to people.
You are the EMPLOYEE OF CHEZ LA CHEZ who is meant to DRIVE DOWN THE PROPERTY PRICES OF EVERYWHERE by dealing drugs in the area so that CHEZ LA CHEZ can BUY THE PROPERTIES AT A WINDFALL PRICE in order to expand CHEZ LA CHEZ. You are currently trying to BRING DOWN THE VALUE of the bookshop next to CHEZ LA CHEZ. [6] It's working, but you are out of HARD DRUGS. And EASY DRUGS. And MEDIUM DRUGS. The bookshop is now so devalued IT HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A PROPERTY VALUE BLACK HOLE. This is not a GOOD THING TO BE NEAR.
OKEY, TIME FOR ELDRITCH LIKE STUFF. SPECIFICALY, WHISPERING THINGS IN THE MINDS OF THE NON-CHEF WORKERS OF SECRETS THAT ARE SHURE TO AT LEAST MAKE THEM COMPLETATE REBELLION AGAINST THESE HORIBLE UNHEALTHY CHEFS
[2] It turns out that the waiters and cleaning staff are EQUALLY SADISTIC. They oblige you by POURING BLEACH DOWN THE MOUTH OF ONE OF THE CHEFS. Not because they WANT TO REBEL, it's just that they DO THIS PRETTY REGULARLY.
...
Jesus... You're an eldritch abomination and all, but...
Fuck, CHEZ LA CHEZ is kind of TOO MUCH, you know?
>Scream the troublesome kitchen staff into submission, drill instructor style!
If I have time, begin actually preparing some orders from untainted ingredients with my leet head-chef cooking skills.
If there are no untainted ingredients, go buy some.
[5] You go into DRILL SERGEANT MODE. This being CHEZ LA CHEZ, that means whilst shouting at them you casually execute one of the chefs using a drill. It works perfectly, and everyone goes back to work while you solve the other problem by shredding the corpse using your special CORPSE-DISPOSER-O-MATIC, a necessary in every kitchen.
[4] You make some passable STÚPÍDCHÉFALADRÍLL from the remains. Yay for RECYCLING.
Walk into the kitchen, surely such a renowned restaurant would have a clean kitchen!
The kitchen floor is covered in the victims of Spanish flu, swine flu, bird flu, ebola, HIV, Sand Plague, and Regular Plague. The Head Chef is literally shredding a drilled chef into fine strips. The janitor is doing their best and their best isn't enough.
...
[1] In other words,
THIS IS THE BEST RESTARUANT YOU HAVE EVER SEEN
I MEAN, THEY HAVEN'T EVEN
TRIED KILLING YOU YET
THIS PLACE HAS LIVED UP TO THE HYPE AND MORE
Kill the ill workers with my mop and throw their bodies into the dumpster behind the restaurant. Wash my mop and the floor afterwards.
[3] You beat the imported HOSPITAL PATIENTS with a mop until they're UNCONSCIOUS, then beat a few ill chefs just to MAKE SURE. You put them in a PLASTIC BAG and shove them into the dumpster, nodding to the OFFICIAL DRUG DEALER while you're at it.
I am the waiter who MAKES PEOPLE WAIT!
I will make them wait, and they'll LIKE IT!
[2] There's no-one to FORCE TO WAIT. So you drag a police officer in, telling him there's BEEN A MURDER and then just make him STAND WITH YOU AWKWARDLY because this is CHEZ LA CHEZ and WE MUST FOLLOW THE RULES THAT ARE CLEARLY MARKED ON A SIGN, SEE.
You suspect HE MIGHT BE ANGRY WITH YOU judging by the fact that he's POINTING HIS TASER AT YOU.
IT IS NOW 7 O'CLOCK
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Topic: CHEZ LA CHEZ: LITERAL DRILL SERGEANT (Read 3813 times)