I am ze health inspector!
[5] You are the BEST AND BRIGHTEST health inspector. You have robbed one hundred and eight restaurants of ONE MILLION MICHELIN STARS. You are currently HANGING AROUND THE BACK OF CHEZ LA CHEZ in the traditional health inspector uniform of NIGHT VISION GOGGLES, BODY ARMOR, AND A MACHINE GUN. Hey, health inspectors disappear into seedy kitchens and end up as the next meal with SURPRISING AND UNPLEASANT REGULARITY.
I am the head chef!
>Shout at my incompetent underlings to get to work! Make sure everyone is wearing their appropriate kitchen uniforms and washes their hands before (and after!) handling any food.
[1] Just to SPITE YOU OUT OF NOTHING BUT PURE MALICE, the workers start visiting VICTIMS OF HIGHLY INFECTIOUS DISEASES and then stealing their bodily fluids so they can mix THE FOOD WITH THE FLUIDS. [5] Luckily, the food tastes great anyway.
I shall be the Janitor, armed with my fearsome mop I shall defeat all dirt(y) opponents and bring cleanliness upon this world!
[3] Yes, you are the JANITOR, armed with MOP AND BUCKET. Unfortunately, you are the janitor who has to deal with the fact that the kitchen floor is covered in VICTIMS OF HIGHLY INFECTIOUS DISEASES.
I AM THE COMMUNIST GOD. MY GOAL: TO FREE THE WORKERS OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT FROM THE TYRANY FROM THE MANAGER OF THE PLACE.
[4] You are actually the ANARCHNO-COMMUNIST GOD, but who's counting? [2] Despite DELIBERATELY INFECTING THE FOOD WITH DISEASE, the workers really don't mind working at CHEZ LA CHEZ. This may be because the management LETS THEM PULL THIS SHIT ON A REGULAR BASIS because they ARE ACTUALLY QUITE GOOD COOKS.
I an SURVEYOR who surveys people about some stuff.
[5] You SURVEY people about STUFF. Particularly POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS. [4] You find that people GENERALLY like STUFF. You would say that around 87% of those surveyed agree that WITHOUT STUFF, things would be bad.