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Author Topic: CHEZ LA CHEZ: LITERAL DRILL SERGEANT  (Read 3807 times)

Fniff

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CHEZ LA CHEZ: LITERAL DRILL SERGEANT
« on: October 20, 2014, 12:44:36 pm »

You are the staff of the BEST RESTAURANT, CHEZ LA CHEZ.
It has won TEN MICHELIN STARS.
You have to serve THE CUSTOMERS so well that they will DIE FROM THE PLEASURE OF EATING THE FOOD YOU HAVE BESTOWED UPON THEM. Not LITERALLY, of course, that would be BAD.
The time is SIX O'CLOCK in the AM. The restaurant opens at NINE O'CLOCK.
Before beginning, CHOOSE YOUR JOB. Then SET UP CHEZ LA CHEZ for THE BEST NIGHT.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2014, 06:48:51 pm by Fniff »
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blazing glory

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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2014, 12:51:45 am »

I am ze health inspector!
« Last Edit: October 21, 2014, 12:56:56 am by blazing glory »
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Yoink

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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2014, 04:27:19 am »

I am the head chef!
>Shout at my incompetent underlings to get to work! Make sure everyone is wearing their appropriate kitchen uniforms and washes their hands before (and after!) handling any food.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

SaberToothTiger

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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2014, 03:37:54 pm »

I shall be the Janitor, armed with my fearsome mop I shall defeat all dirt(y) opponents and bring cleanliness upon this world!
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I gaze into its milky depths, searching the wheat and sugar for the meanings I can never find.
It's like tea leaf divination, but with cartoon leprechauns.
There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.

poketwo

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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ
« Reply #4 on: October 21, 2014, 04:17:19 pm »

I AM THE COMMUNIST GOD. MY GOAL: TO FREE THE WORKERS OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT FROM THE TYRANY FROM THE MANAGER OF THE PLACE.
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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2014, 04:45:51 pm »

I an SURVEYOR who surveys people about some stuff.
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Fniff

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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ
« Reply #6 on: October 21, 2014, 04:51:51 pm »

I am ze health inspector!
[5] You are the BEST AND BRIGHTEST health inspector. You have robbed one hundred and eight restaurants of ONE MILLION MICHELIN STARS. You are currently HANGING AROUND THE BACK OF CHEZ LA CHEZ in the traditional health inspector uniform of NIGHT VISION GOGGLES, BODY ARMOR, AND A MACHINE GUN. Hey, health inspectors disappear into seedy kitchens and end up as the next meal with SURPRISING AND UNPLEASANT REGULARITY.

I am the head chef!
>Shout at my incompetent underlings to get to work! Make sure everyone is wearing their appropriate kitchen uniforms and washes their hands before (and after!) handling any food.
[1] Just to SPITE YOU OUT OF NOTHING BUT PURE MALICE, the workers start visiting VICTIMS OF HIGHLY INFECTIOUS DISEASES and then stealing their bodily fluids so they can mix THE FOOD WITH THE FLUIDS. [5] Luckily, the food tastes great anyway.

I shall be the Janitor, armed with my fearsome mop I shall defeat all dirt(y) opponents and bring cleanliness upon this world!
[3] Yes, you are the JANITOR, armed with MOP AND BUCKET. Unfortunately, you are the janitor who has to deal with the fact that the kitchen floor is covered in VICTIMS OF HIGHLY INFECTIOUS DISEASES.

I AM THE COMMUNIST GOD. MY GOAL: TO FREE THE WORKERS OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT FROM THE TYRANY FROM THE MANAGER OF THE PLACE.
[4] You are actually the ANARCHNO-COMMUNIST GOD, but who's counting? [2] Despite DELIBERATELY INFECTING THE FOOD WITH DISEASE, the workers really don't mind working at CHEZ LA CHEZ. This may be because the management LETS THEM PULL THIS SHIT ON A REGULAR BASIS because they ARE ACTUALLY QUITE GOOD COOKS.

I an SURVEYOR who surveys people about some stuff.
[5] You SURVEY people about STUFF. Particularly POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS. [4] You find that people GENERALLY like STUFF. You would say that around 87% of those surveyed agree that WITHOUT STUFF, things would be bad.
Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ: INFECTIOUS WASTE
« Reply #7 on: October 21, 2014, 04:57:46 pm »

Survey people about how the restaurant could improve.
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Nidilap

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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ: INFECTIOUS WASTE
« Reply #8 on: October 21, 2014, 05:34:12 pm »

I am the drug dealer in the alley that CHEZ LA CHEZ is next to. Sell drugs to people.
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Nidilap likes Adamantine, Bituminous Coal, Garnets, Cats for their aloofness, Dwarves for their stupidity, and Swords for their Spikes and edges. When possible, he prefers to eat pizza, ramen noodles, and sushi. He absolutely detests elves and spiders. He needs MTN DEW to get through the working day.

A medium- sized creature prone to great ambition, but only when he feels like it.

poketwo

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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ: INFECTIOUS WASTE
« Reply #9 on: October 21, 2014, 06:12:17 pm »

OKEY, TIME FOR ELDRITCH LIKE STUFF. SPECIFICALY, WHISPERING THINGS IN THE MINDS OF THE NON-CHEF WORKERS OF SECRETS THAT ARE SHURE TO AT LEAST MAKE THEM COMPLETATE REBELLION AGAINST THESE HORIBLE UNHEALTHY CHEFS
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Yoink

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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ: INFECTIOUS WASTE
« Reply #10 on: October 21, 2014, 06:12:44 pm »

>Scream the troublesome kitchen staff into submission, drill instructor style!

If I have time, begin actually preparing some orders from untainted ingredients with my leet head-chef cooking skills.
If there are no untainted ingredients, go buy some.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

blazing glory

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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ: INFECTIOUS WASTE
« Reply #11 on: October 21, 2014, 07:29:59 pm »

Walk into the kitchen, surely such a renowned restaurant would have a clean kitchen!
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SaberToothTiger

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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ: INFECTIOUS WASTE
« Reply #12 on: October 22, 2014, 08:07:22 am »

Kill the ill workers with my mop and throw their bodies into the dumpster behind the restaurant. Wash my mop and the floor afterwards.
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I gaze into its milky depths, searching the wheat and sugar for the meanings I can never find.
It's like tea leaf divination, but with cartoon leprechauns.
There are only two sure things in life: death and taxes and lists and poor arithmetic and overlong jokes and poor memory and probably a few more things.

Parsely

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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ: INFECTIOUS WASTE
« Reply #13 on: October 22, 2014, 10:39:43 am »

PTW
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Lyeos

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Re: CHEZ LA CHEZ: INFECTIOUS WASTE
« Reply #14 on: October 23, 2014, 06:17:40 pm »

I am the waiter who MAKES PEOPLE WAIT!
I will make them wait, and they'll LIKE IT!
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