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[yobbo]

do-over!

and bring some cannon-fodder this time! That bigass dropship looks like it holds at least 10 people.

i mean that creepy little ermine wants to win, doesn't it? Doesn't it???

[IronyOwl]

and bring some cannon-fodder this time! That bigass dropship looks like it holds at least 10 people.

Eight, but yes, I considered adding two mooks and decided against it. Poor decision. Very poor decision.

And I believe the ship does look like it can hold more than it actually can because vehicles take up one soldier slot but multiple floor tiles.

do-over!

i mean that creepy little ermine wants to win, doesn't it? Doesn't it???

"The operation doesn't work very well if nobody can die."

[yobbo]

Name: Yimi Aoki
File Photo:
Physical Description: small build, dyed burgundy hair, white makeup, insists on wearing sunglasses inside
Mental Description: Furious at the death of her little sister Yumi, she takes it out on anything or anyone nearby.
Preferred Stats: reflexes, accuracy, TUs
Preferred Loadout: Precision Rifle. Flashbangs. Smoke grenades. Frag grenades. Medipack if she can carry it.
Battlefield Behavior: Advance carefully, keep reaction shot up, cover teammates, annihilate enemies.
Base Behavior: Spends her time making enemies, plotting to kill the little white weasel, and ordering anyone of lower rank around.

[Digital Hellhound]

Well, I, uh. My spirit will live on?

[Puzzlemaker]

HAHAHAHAHA

Wow, that was hilarious!

[Aseaheru]

Hey, for aircombat? Unless you have the last aircraft in the game you require groups of aircraft.
As in, two condors in a group at start, soon followed by three condors in a group as they get non-tiny ships...

[Blaze]

A Glorious Slaughter!

So did my mook live up to her namesake or what?

Edit: How long did it take for my shield to go down?

[birdy51]

Name: Collin Niederhosen
File Photo:
Physical Description: Blond hair, tall and lanky. Unfit for general combat service. Perfect for cannon fodder.
Mental Description: Pompous ass.
Preferred Stats: Time Units, Accuracy, Reflexes. That or whoever has the lowest health.
Preferred Loadout: Small Arms. Fire fast. The more bullets in the air, the better.
Battlefield Behavior: Let allies do the dirty work. Watch the rear.
Base Behavior: Stating that the dead deserved to die because they weren't good enough fighters.

[IronyOwl]

Hey, for aircombat? Unless you have the last aircraft in the game you require groups of aircraft.
As in, two condors in a group at start, soon followed by three condors in a group as they get non-tiny ships...

In this particular case I think finding the dodge button might also have worked, but yeah, I'll start clustering them.

A Glorious Slaughter!

So did my mook live up to her namesake or what?

Edit: How long did it take for my shield to go down?

Hard to say. Crouching in the frontline should have been handy, but it didn't stop the two people behind you from dying, after which point everyone else was too much of a coward to assist. The grenades didn't do a ton of damage either, though I think the real issue was that they seemed to be regenerating through them.

That shield lasted forever. Certainly took more shots than most people did.

[Aseaheru]

Hey, for aircombat? Unless you have the last aircraft in the game you require groups of aircraft.
As in, two condors in a group at start, soon followed by three condors in a group as they get non-tiny ships...

In this particular case I think finding the dodge button might also have worked, but yeah, I'll start clustering them.

I mean in terms of munitions. I dont think a lone condor can even kill a small scout with the first set of missiles.
Also, 16 frag grenades and no smoke or flashbangs? Thats... Probably not the best.

[IronyOwl]

September 17th (1/3): Join Now And Receive A Free Magical Girl




: "Oh, good! Our researchers have learned something of the invasion. Apparently a thin layer of nitrogen is all that stands between humanity and the relentless fury of an alien armada ten thousand strong."


"The lead researcher does not seem pleased with me."


"Nonetheless, I implement both suggested research projects. Each additional researcher works at one percentage point less than the previous (100%, 99%, 98%, and so on), so I split them evenly."


"I was going to keep it a secret in order to ascertain how long it took anyone to notice, but they're dead now anyway so I should probably mention that I've ordered additional living space constructed."


"Several abductions are reported around the world, but as far as I can tell they remain beyond our ability to respond to."


"And at last, we have another contact."


"The living quarters are completed. Why am I talking about this, you might ask?"


"Because the UFO seems quite content to remain over water."


"Various peculiar phenomena are detected in the craft's wake. I do hope they're not acquiring vital test data regarding atmospheric manipulation and flight.

Fortunately, soon after it finally comes over land."


"Every aspect of this operation has been a complete embarrassment in every regard."


"Additional issues. No doubt our sponsors will be most displeased."


"A rash of incidents just outside our radar range. Could this be another chance?"



: "The time has come. Let's prepare the soldiers!"





: "The time has come for you two to respond to an alien signal. Are you ready?"

: _{"Bastard marmot gonna get yours real good just you wait you little..."}

: "You must be joking. Me? Perform labor?"

: "Wonderful. You have each been assigned your own personal squad to lead. Treat them with care, as it requires filling out a form to acquire another one."

: "Greetings, Yimi-sempai!"

: "I'm Azure Charity, your shieldbearer!"

: "I'm Viridian Pride, your generalist!"

: "I'm Maroon Joy, your sniper!"

: "We look forward to working with you!"

: "Were any of you here when my sister died?"

:"No, who-"

: "THEN I GUESS YOU'RE PRETTY WORTHLESS HUH?!"



~

: "Greetings, Collin-sempai!"

: "I'm Cerulean Axe, your shieldbearer!"

: "I'm Emerald Sword, your generalist!"

: "I'm Crimson Lance, your sniper!"

: "You're all worthless garbage I'm not bothering to learn the names of."

: "S-so sugoi..."

TO BE CONTINUED...

[IronyOwl]

September 17th (2/3): Go Time


LAST TIME, ON PROBENAUTS...



: "I am terrible at this."

: "Faceless mooks, reporting in!"

: "Hey. Let's abuse everyone under our command."

: "Obviously."


Currently...



: "Now is our chance. Probenauts, assemble!"


"On second thought, the last time we deployed at night everybody died. Return to base for now."


"The craft relocates, but settles down in short order."




"It's time."




: "Certainly not. Where's some trash to toss out first?"

: "On it!"



: "So far so good, and somebody's alive!"





: *cough* "Ugh, me having to stand in smoke..."

: "Don't worry, we'll protect you!"



: "We found something! Where there's bodies, there's probably enemies!"

: "Let's do this."



: "Hmph. We'll go this way, then."



: "Hah! I've found the enemy ship! Not so difficult when you're not trash."





: "Excellent. Everyone's in position."



: "Meanwhile, still nothing over here..."



: "Contact!"



: "There's one in the building!"

: "Everyone fall back. We'll get this bastard once we've got the angle..."




Meanwhile, a hail of alien fire butchers Crimson Lance.

: "See? That's what happens when you're GARBAGE!"


The remaining Xenonauts attempt to slay the interlopers, but can't deal enough damage, and so retreat.


Team Yimi has difficulty finding their target...


Emerald Sword meets a grim fate, much to the dismay of her allies. An alien tries for Collin as well, but misses.

: "See? When you're not TERRIBLE, they MISS you."



: "W-we did it! We got both of them!"

: "'We?'"

: "I mean, Sempai is so amazing, he slew two aliens single-handedly!"

: "Even with trash like you tripping me up."

: "I-I thought I helped a-"

: "TRASH LIKE YOU."


Meanwhile, Yimi's team remains locked in a deadly dance.


A deadly dance which occasionally uncovers things they wish weren't true.


Viridian Pride and Cerulean Charity go around the fence to get in closer, while Yimi and Maroon Joy hang back for sniper support.




They manage to corner it in the building, but it refuses to go down easily, despite Yimi inventing fence-hopping and both her and Joy finding open shots.


Meanwhile...

: "Should we go help?"

: "No, we should stay here and hold this pass, you imbecile."


They finally, finally bring it down.




Upon exiting the building, Viridian Pride takes fire from behind, but remains uninjured.

: "Ahhhh! I just thought I was safe for a moment!"

: "YOU IDIOT, WHEN WOULD THAT EVER HAPPEN EVER?"


Yimi's forces retreat again...

: "I'm going to help!"

: "Well I'm certainly not going out in the open."



: "Maybe I can blast through this wall and get in through there."



: "Pfft, useless."


Much sniper, assault rifle, and pistol fire later, the beast is finally put down...


...allowing Azure Charity to cover everyone else as they make their way to the alien ship.


It takes a while, but everyone gets into position...


And the UFO is breached. The first victim goes down quickly, aided by the snipers' willingness to accept a 25% chance of hitting their allies.


This lets the shieldbearers advance on the remaining alien, safely in cover behind something probably expensive...



: "Haha, the glory is mine!"







: *GURGLE* "THIS IS EVERYONE'S FAULT BUT MINE" *HACK*

: "SEMPAI NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"






At long last it goes down, leaving the squad victorious!

And rated terribly in 2 out of 3 fields. Shameful.


TO BE CONTINUED...

[IronyOwl]

September 17th (3/3): What The Hell


PREVIOUSLY ON PROBENAUTS...

: "Keep hitting it until it dies!"

: "...I tried, but the bat broke first."

: "Motherfucker!"

: *cough* "My death... will surely be mourned... by all..."

: "Oh! It will, I'll-"

: *hack* "Shut the fuck up, I wasn't talking to filth like you."

: "You've done it, Xenonauts! The alien menace has been defeated, thanks to your heroic sacrifices and brave actions!"

: "However the form was off and you sort of whiffed the landing. C-, needs improvement."


Currently...




: "Our forces have officially returned. And with that..."



: "We've gained new research!"



: "So I've spread our pitiful science team out on all of it. We'll get there eventually."

: "But I want to live now."

: "Now now, Yimi, you can't always have everything you want."




: "As you can see, despite surviving, Cerulean Axe was injured."

: *sniff* "I have a broken heart..."

: "I believe that confirms that you are not a doctor."





: "Much like Cerulean Axe, Yimi and her squad learned quite a bit from the ordeal. You see, Yimi? Facing death is good for you."

: "Fucking mutant weasel."



: "Which brings us back to the issue of compensation."

: "As you can see, there was a total of $27,000 gained from the operation, as well as five research items. Additionally, there were 8 alien alloys recovered."

: "This leaves a total of 5 tokens, 27,000 credits, and a possible claim to 8 alien allows to be distributed amongst the survivors."

: "Meaning I get it all."

: "Not at all! Cerulean Axe is now the leader of her squad."

: "WHAT?!"

: "Yaaaaaaaay."

: "FUCK BOTH OF YOU WORTHLESS GODDAMNED OTTER"

: "Oh, um, what does any of that do?"

: "FUCKING BULLSHI- yeah, that too. The hell is any of that stuff you're stealing from me?"

: "Well, let's go visit and see!"




: "What."

: "Pretty! But why is the water light blue?"

: "What."

: "The aquatic section was based on local conditions, and is thus a relatively clear liquid."

: "More importantly, this is where you spend credits, and where you can keep the results of spending tokens."



: "For instance, by spending a thousand credits, you can raise a tile of land."

: "Yaaaaaaaay!"

: "What?!"



: "However, each block of land is surrounded by mandatory and free buffer tiles. In this case, for instance, the red territory would cost 4,000 credits. The blue territory is the portal's surroundings, so land cannot be claimed directly around it."

: "If another party then wished to build nearby, the purple territory is as close as they could get."

: "You may build structures on tiles, which brings us to the use of tokens."

: "Tokens are used to bring things forth from beyond the veil. Each token purchases one attempt, and things drawn from this process are unpredictable. There is no guarantee you'll receive what you wanted."

: "What... kinds of things?"

: "In theory, anything. In practice, some things are more common and accessible than others."


"In particular, fell knowledge of things not meant to be known is of great assistance here..."

: "What?!"

: "It means it's easier to draw things from your favorite comic book than out of thin air."

: "Oh, cool."

: "So wait, we summon Superman and then pay money to turn him into a building, or what?"

: "More or less. Structures staffed or inhabited by things, or utilizing things as tools or materials, tend to be more useful than those without. But there's little you can use here that isn't planespawned, so unless you want to breed common Earth organisms, you'll likely be using tokens to get your initial prize, and then utilizing buildings to fully exploit it."

: "...so. All the tokens and all the credits are mine, right?"

:"No."

: "We should split everything evenly."

: "You should die next mission so I get all your stuff."

:"Oh, that reminds me. You can form Clans to manage your holdings in here. The primary purpose of a Clan is inheritance, so that your possessions do not revert to neutral property when you die."

: "You mean 'if' we- you know what, nevermind. What does 'neutral' mean?"

:"Neutral holdings may be utilized by anyone, but not formally claimed under normal circumstances."

: "Alright. Last question. What do alloys do?"

:"I have no idea. I assume we'll use them to manufacture useful things at some point, so it makes sense to give Xenonauts theoretical claim rights to them."

[Aseaheru]

Still sending out single ships?

[birdy51]

No Collin! Why weren't you watching the rear! I loved your lovable ass self! Blast! More of the Fire Emblem cast keeps on dying and I'm going to assume we can't hard reset this. Time to send out... The DWARF.

Name: Barthus the Dwarf
File Photo:
Physical Description: A short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry.
Mental Description: Barthus the Dwarf is happy today. He has admired a splendid military base lately. He has been satisfied at work lately. He has taken joy in slaughter recently.
Preferred Stats: Whoever has the most Health, Strength, and Bravery.
Preferred Loadout: Heavy armaments. Things that go boom are good, although a LMG would also make Barthus happy.
Battlefield Behavior: Lumber along through the battlefield and lay down covering fire. Be a jolly good dwarf.
Base Behavior: Dorfy things and trying to find his one true love. Alcohol.

Spoiler: Bonush Dwarfs! (click to show/hide)