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Author Topic: God 2.0 (SG)  (Read 849 times)

Jboy2000000

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God 2.0 (SG)
« on: October 19, 2014, 09:53:13 pm »

Truly this is the golden age of humanity. The average age of people has tripled since the years of the 21st century, cures for AIDs come in pill form, treatment to completely eradicate cancer cells are sold over the counter, and entire limbs can be printed directly onto an amputee's nub. But those are only minor advancements compared to the ones that can arise from your hands. Years in collage has given you a golden opportunity, exploring the genes of animals large and small. Unlocking the secrets off the small spindles of genetic code we call DNA, in new and amazing ways. After graduating with top marks, your university offered you a job and a fund. The job, make them the leaders is genomic processing research. The funding, well, to say the very least its vast. 1,000,000 dollars. Lets hope you can make them proud. You'll be given the basics you need, a lab, and a few unnamed techs to do some work for you, unpaid of course. But first, they need a name to put on that name tag they'll give, as well as to shove into the history books!
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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2014, 10:08:48 pm »

Our name is Luaene Veraku, male, and rather eccentric, with a fascination for canines. ..We have 16 dogs, three wolves, and a fox. Good dogs, best friends.
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Jboy2000000

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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2014, 10:30:51 pm »

Professor Veraku. Students shall have the name etched into their brains at least 9 hours a day! ... Okay, maybe not during lunch, but thats still a good amount of time. Either way, you go to your new lab and look around. The uni gave you everything they promised and more. There is a storage freezer for storing samples, a centrifuge, DNA modifiers, literal guinea pigs, and even lackies student working for credit. The card with your provided fund on are sitting there for you, as well as a note to you and anyone else using the lab.

"Attention everyone planning on using the lab.
Remember that this lab is owned by the university, by operated by Professor Luaene Veraku.
Please follow our guidelines, but also act only under the professor's guidance.
The DNA storage chest is locked, and only the professor can unlock it, so seek their aid if you wish to preform tasks or tests.
-Headmaster Peregine."

By that note is a letter addressed specifically to you.

"Professor Veraku,
I hope you know what an honour it is that we gave you this large amount of funding, as well as the space and tool provided. As such, we hope you know not to do anything foolish in the labs. We have given you basic tool and space, but you don't yet have any pens or holding cells for more active or dangerous test subjects. For right now, we've given you three bits of already processed DNA. One pig, one chicken, and one syringe of the two unprofessional mixed together. Completely useless, but it'll give you an example of what happens when you aren't careful. Just put it through the centrifuge again, and inject a test subject to see what happens to it. I shouldn't have to tell you this, but don't use yourself or your students. With the other samples, you're free to do as you wish.
-Headmaster Peregine."

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"Wanna be a better liberal? Go get shot in the fuckin' face."

Just goes to show, even a Male Doctor that Looks Like a Female and a Criminal with Poor Hygiene Habits can fall in love.

Ambidextrous

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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2014, 10:40:35 pm »

PTW
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~Neri

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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2014, 10:43:33 pm »

Locate test subjects!
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Jboy2000000

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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2014, 10:49:37 pm »

You scan the lab for test subjects. Your eyes gaze over the seemingly endless amounts of guinea pigs sitting in a number of cages. They look like they could do for now, but it'd probably be more interesting to have larger test animals in the future. All in time of course, don't want to push limits right now. Acting on instinct from the letter, you send the sample of the dirty DNA through the centrifuge, and inject one of the guinea pigs... And seemingly nothing happens. Maybe they were telling you its ok to make mistakes? No matter what they meant, you still have two more samples to have fun with. What should you do first?

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"Wanna be a better liberal? Go get shot in the fuckin' face."

Just goes to show, even a Male Doctor that Looks Like a Female and a Criminal with Poor Hygiene Habits can fall in love.

~Neri

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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2014, 10:54:04 pm »

Count the guinipigs! Put a name tag on the injected one that says "Mr Fluffles" if it's female and "Ms Fluffles" if it's male. Separate Fluffles from the rest of the guinipigs and have a minion student monitor it. Process human DNA.
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Andres

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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #7 on: October 19, 2014, 11:05:16 pm »

Inject guinea pig with chicken.
Inject guinea pig with pig.
Have the resulting monstrosities mate with themselves and other guinea pigs.
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Ambidextrous

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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2014, 11:23:46 pm »

Inject guinea pig with chicken.
Inject guinea pig with pig.
Have the resulting monstrosities mate with themselves and other guinea pigs.

+1
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Jboy2000000

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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2014, 11:51:26 pm »

You begin to count guinea pigs, and keep counting until you're dizzy. How can so many guinea pigs fit in one room? (Note From the Mod: You get infinite guinea pigs.)

You inject a few guinea pigs with the unprocessed DNA, and almost immediately the guinea pigs start getting sick, throwing up and leaving pellets everywhere.

Meanwhile, the one you inject earlier starts showing some... "Result." Its fur starts falling out, and blood starts come out of every pore, and even from his eyes, mouth and ears. It squeaks in constant agony, and whenever it moves, you can hear it's tiny bones breaking.

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"Wanna be a better liberal? Go get shot in the fuckin' face."

Just goes to show, even a Male Doctor that Looks Like a Female and a Criminal with Poor Hygiene Habits can fall in love.

~Neri

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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2014, 11:55:21 pm »

Sterilize the used Syringes. Let several random guinipigs out of their cages to just run around the lab. Acquire guinipig DNA, process it, inject another guinipig with the first one.
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Jboy2000000

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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2014, 12:02:07 am »

You send some students to wash the syringes, and then play animal activist and release some guinea pigs among the lab, so your students collect and process DNA through the centrifuge. Injecting a second guinea pigs seems to have done nothing.

Meanwhile, your first test subject finally complete its transformation... Maybe. Its stopped moving, making any sort of noise, and it looks like a lump of raw meat with several bones poking out of the sides. How horrible. However, even if it doesn't look like, it IS alive. How lovely, a new species of immobile, meat monsters, and you get to name it!

As well, the two subjects you injected with the rest of you DNA just up and die, poor things. The students could have really used those.

Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
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"Wanna be a better liberal? Go get shot in the fuckin' face."

Just goes to show, even a Male Doctor that Looks Like a Female and a Criminal with Poor Hygiene Habits can fall in love.

Ambidextrous

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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2014, 12:27:17 am »

Maybe we need a different method?
Collect DNA from the "meat monster".
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Andres

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Re: God 2.0 (SG)
« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2014, 12:31:15 am »

The meat monster shall be called Immobilus Guineapigus.

Collect DNA from normal guinea pigs.
Inject guinea pig DNA into other normal guinea pigs.
Have a normal guinea pig breed with Immobilus (that's its name).
If Immobilus is actually Immobila, leave it be.
Otherwise, inject it with guinea pig DNA and have it breed with another guinea pig while it's mutating.
Make it breed once it's done mutating as well.
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All fanfics are heresy, each and every one, especially the shipping ones. Those are by far the worst.