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Author Topic: Girl problems  (Read 4703 times)

Cptn Kaladin Anrizlokum

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Re: Girl problems
« Reply #30 on: November 22, 2014, 01:55:02 pm »

so wouldn't that make it 100% asked out, regardless of gender (well, cis-gendered, anyway)
I have been asked out by parents/friends/siblings of people who wanted to date me, so not exactly.
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smeeprocket

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Re: Girl problems
« Reply #31 on: November 22, 2014, 02:09:12 pm »

Either way, aggression doesn't just relate to asking people out (that's not particularly aggressive anyway.) But the reason you are experiencing that isn't due to a lack of aggression on the part of females it is because of societal norms and expectations. It's anecdotal either way, I mean I've asked every person I've ever been with out, man or woman.

So stating that men are more aggressive than women, or making any sweeping stereotype can have several effects, 1. enforces preconceived notions, promoting that stereotype, or 2. pushes that stereotype on members of that particular group, because inexplicably if one is told they are or are not a thing so many times, it will come to pass. This is the catch 22 of oppression.

Women are individuals, each different from the last, the same as men. This is true of all human beings.

Stereotypes are bad, is what I'm trying to get at.

Also, family members asking people out for you is weird, I'm not sure I'd accept that kind of invitation.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Girl problems
« Reply #32 on: November 22, 2014, 02:46:37 pm »

Just popping into the thread to say that I support generalisations because they're very useful and save time for everyone involved.
You don't apply generalisations to people once you know them a bit better, because that's silly.
I'm hesitating to use the word "stereotype" because there is nobody who actually thinks stereotypes are reality unless they know nothing about the subject in question. It's not oppression, it's sodding ignorance.
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Ancalagon_TB

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Re: Girl problems
« Reply #33 on: November 22, 2014, 04:36:49 pm »

Women are individuals, each different from the last, the same as men. This is true of all human beings.

When I was in my early 20s, I didn't understand women.  I had the bright idea of giving up on trying to understand "women" and started trying to understand *individuals* - ie the same way I tried to understand John and Bob, I would try to understand Jane and Sara. 

I wasn't suddenly filled with insight and wisdom, but worked *far* better than trying to understand 50% of the freaking planet as one giant homogeneous group.
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Girl problems
« Reply #34 on: November 23, 2014, 02:13:05 am »

I'm hesitating to use the word "stereotype" because there is nobody who actually thinks stereotypes are reality unless they know nothing about the subject in question. It's not oppression, it's sodding ignorance.

People get harassed and killed over stereotypes. It might be ignorance but that doesn't make it not oppression.
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Orange Wizard

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Re: Girl problems
« Reply #35 on: November 23, 2014, 02:37:29 am »

Yeah, fair enough. I get antsy when I hear the word "oppression". Ignore me.
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Inarius

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Re: Girl problems
« Reply #36 on: December 02, 2014, 09:28:50 am »

I would probably find somebody who know her, and know me. And I would talk to him/her, explain him/her all about the situation, and then this person would mention the fact that I already have a boy/girl friend during a conversation.

Not the best way I would like to do, but, well...seems the best way to avoid humiliation/tears/laugh for everybody.
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