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[Zanzetkuken The Great]

It is now 2016.  Last year, it was deemed that Reddit, 4chan, and other internet communities were the largest untapped resources of political support.  Many political parties that have risen in the wake of this, and all desire the presidency.  You are one of the candidates, and have arrived at the first debate and are at the podium.  The debates are about to begin.  Try to win.

Spoiler: Character Sheet (click to show/hide)

Name: (What is your name?)
Political Party: (What is the name of your political party?  You may make one up.)
Appearance: (What do you look like?)
Major Stances: (Where do you stand on various issues?)

Spoiler: Limitations (click to show/hide)

No killing another player.  You can, however, have dramatic battles.  In fact, this is encouraged, because of the 'untapped pools'.

[GayArchaea]

I may have PM'd you a moment ago, first Roll to dodge.

Name: Bryon Looper
Political Party: The American Party
Appearance: An old and crippled man, no hair, plenty of wrinkles.
Major Stances: Pro-Life, Pro-Death, Pro-Gun, Pro-Union, No-Tax.

[Salsacookies]

Name: Cookies McSalsa
Political Party: The United Party of Furrism and Salsacookies
Appearance: Giant Floating Cookie
Major Stances: Equal Rights for Furries,Bronies and Spicy Sweet Treats. Anti-Gay and Pro-Gun

[Nirur Torir]

Name: Caesar
Political Party: Caesar's Evil Party of Absolute Tyranny and Despotism (CEPoATaD)
Appearance: A middle-aged, balding man. Always wears a toga and "an olive leaf reverse-tiara thing."
Major Stances: Anti-corporations, permanent removal of political theater and governmental corruption by creating a despotism by the incorruptible Caesar, pro-medicine-food-and-entertainment-for-all, pro-Firefly reboot.

[NAV]

Name: Bob
Political Party: The Nuke Party
Appearance: A guy with an evil curly moustache
Major stances: Launch all the nukes

[poketwo]

I am tempted to do communist, but new possibilities are waiting!!!!

Name: New m00t
Political Party: The 4chan party
Appearance: Slender mid-20s virgin.
Major Stances: Pro-free speech, anti-censorist, pro-transparency of journalism, anti-SJW, anti-third wave feminism, global warming can be solved via non-economy hurting means, pro-investigations of everything to see if any conspiracies exist, pro-telling of all the truth he can, pro gun, pro-analyzing of the judicial system to remove corrupt and stupid judges and prosecutors, anti-lying, pro bringing proof, anti-cultural Marxism, anti-stupidity, anti-radicalism, pro- unification of all mankind under a certain someone that we will not mention, anti-media. 

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Live Debate #1

The America Party, The United Party of Furrism and Salsacookies, Caesar's Evil Party of Absolute Tyranny and Despotism, The 4chan party, and the Nuke Party have all arrived.  All are wearing their finest clothing, with the UPFS canidate seated within their cookie UFO.  The debate begins now.

Drama Meter: {I         }

(Further people joining will be put into separate debates with others who joined at the same time.)

[Arcvasti]

PTW, this is hilarious.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

PTW, this is hilarious.

(This is just the first round of debates.  I'm thinking about making a round of debates 10 turns long, switching up who everyone is with, then starting up a new round.  After each round, there will be a check to see how opinion has changed for each candidate.  After five rounds, whoever has the highest will be president, and the second, third, fourth, etc will get a position equal to their rank within the line of presidential succession.  Then we'll watch as everyone crashes the country.)

[Salsacookies]

"Greetings, my fellow opponents. Before we begin, to show no antagonism towards any of you, I propose a quick snack session. I have brought along my finest jar of my grandma's tastiest homemade Salsacookies, and I wish to share with you, my enemies, as a sign of friendship and good sportsmanship. If you wish for one, please enjoy yourselves, I know I will!"

Eat a Salsacookie

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

"Greetings, my fellow opponents. Before we begin, to show no antagonism towards any of you, I propose a quick snack session. I have brought along my finest jar of my grandma's tastiest homemade Salsacookies, and I wish to share with you, my enemies, as a sign of friendship and good sportsmanship. If you wish for one, please enjoy yourselves, I know I will!"

Eat a Salsacookie

((There probably won't be any cyanide!))

[TamerVirus]

Name: "Yama no Orochi' Ken-sama
Party: Humans Envisioning Near Total Anime Iconography aka. The Anime Party
Appearance:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Stances: Pro-Japan relations, Anti-isolationism, Lower the age of consent, Proclaim the superiority of Japanese culture. Anti-global warming. Pro-katana. Pro-military. Enrichment of Japanese language programs.

[SaberToothTiger]

Name: Billy-Bob Gorham
Political Party: Safe America
Appearance: A huge, fat redneck in a dirty wife beater and a baseball cap.
Major Stances: Conservative, anti immigrant, pro guns. Pro military, anti foreigners.

[Nirur Torir]

((I've just realized that I'm the only one without a pro-gun stance, if you count nukes as guns. Good game, guys. I don't think I can win this anymore.))

((There probably won't be any cyanide!))

((Good enough for me!))

"Thank you, I believe I shall indulge before we begin. I brought Aspirin, if anyone needs some to get through this debate."

Prove my superior fake-Roman fortitude, and thus my worthiness as president, by eating a salsa cookie.

[NAV]

Twirl my moustache to hypnotise the audience.