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[h0lx]

So I want to exploit the happiness gains when giving birth to get a net gain of 950 and 450 for mothers and fathers respectively, but what would be the most convenient way to get rid of the product? Magma and atomsmashing requires hassling with slabs, drowning chambers are slow, I was thinking of danger rooms with real weapons. Suggestions?

[Thisfox]

I find a good quality dwarf-wash can unexpectedly mean that babies get... uh... thrown out with the bathwater. I assume it's because they're short, so can't crawl through as deep water as a child or adult. But mum can carry them across, which is a nuisance.

For something elaborate to the point of not being possible: If you could infect them with a werething, they could then be used as marksdwarf target practice, magically healing every month.

Wouldn't the sadness of loosing a baby cancel out the happiness of having a baby?

[Findulidas]

Its a nice project, I wonder how feasible it will be when toady has rewritten the thoughts though.

Wouldn't the sadness of loosing a baby cancel out the happiness of having a baby?

No, it doesnt. Some things like giving birth and making artifacts give 1000 happiness or something along those lines but tragedy "only" reduces it by 50 (in the case a baby).

[Grim Portent]

Is that thing where they drop their babies when they enter a minecart still around?

If so it would likely be the best method.

[h0lx]

No, it doesnt. Some things like giving birth and making artifacts give 1000 happiness or something along those lines but tragedy "only" reduces it by 50 (in the case a baby).

Correct, on childbirth, the mother gains +1000 and the father +500, on baby death it gets reduced by 50 for both, yielding +950 and +450 net. gain.

My friend commented on this idea with "it's like nuclear power, very efficient, but waste is hard to dispose of"

Another Idea would be, provided gobbos as neighbours, to burrow them outside and wait for the pedophiles to dispose of the waste.

[vjek]

I'm not sure if this is true, or ever was... but if parents respect burrows, and children don't, you could use that to help.

Also, if both respect burrows, you could use that to help, too.

[escondida]

This (found at the Academy of Science) is pretty dang efficient. You might want to consider the highly effective new dwarven childcare or even training them in useful skills as adults instead, though, unless you expect your fortress to fall soon.

[slothen]

if you don't care that the children's bodies are found, then the best way is to burrow the mothers in a danger room.  High degree of control, pretty hard to mess up, guaranteed to produce a baby mutilated corpse.

[h0lx]

This (found at the Academy of Science) is pretty dang efficient. You might want to consider the highly effective new dwarven childcare or even training them in useful skills as adults instead, though, unless you expect your fortress to fall soon.

Wow, this is brilliant!

Also another reason, why DF is as awesome, as it is.

[dwarf_reform]

I'm doing modest (probably tried-and-tried-again) science, and overall failing miserably :> My first go was the reverse atom smasher, where I burrow a single dwarf child on top of a bridge and then fling him fifteen tiles into a skidding skin-sack of bones! Except that, in reality, the dwarf child didn't move a single tile when the bridge lifted, just fell straight down and hit his chest and arm, both of which were fully absorbed by his tiger leather coat :> I'm waiting on him to move to his new burrow on the single-tile-width longest possible bridge you can build, hoping length may fling them farther.. The overall dream is to set up two bridges that can toss dwarven children back and forth between them, or at least dig out a 30 z-level pit underneath for them to fall into..
EDIT3 (I've got problems..): Yeaaaaaah, that long single-tile-wide bridge did the job admirably :O Hurled the child 14 tiles, skidded, broken arm and busted ribs/liver Now.. to load ALL the dwarfkids on it at once..

Second up is 'The Big Arrow', where I burrow a child on top of a pillar out in front of the ballista on the second floor of my castle in hopes of obliterating it with a giant arrow "Science" pending while I make more ballista arrows (only had a single iron one left..)

I wish I could just enable them for cooking

EDIT: Ballista arrows were done.. Results mixed

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

http://imgur.com/kyTBdL1

I call it.. TOTAL SUCCESS! Because now I'm cheering the lil guy on.. C'mon, live.. liiive.. And EDIT2: I forgot to mention that the first ballista shot went wide and struck a tree 1 z-level above the ground and the entire tree disappeared, no collapse, no wood.. If someone would kindly take that to the crazy bug tracker if it hasn't been reported I'd greatly appreciate it (don't want to make a whole thread for it..).. And that dwarchild, who obviously got its throat crunched in, has just walked himself to the hospital with no visible throat injury in his description page or health page..

[pisskop]

I'm doing modest (probably tried-and-tried-again) science, and overall failing miserably :> My first go was the reverse atom smasher, where I burrow a single dwarf child on top of a bridge and then fling him fifteen tiles into a skidding skin-sack of bones! Except that, in reality, the dwarf child didn't move a single tile when the bridge lifted, just fell straight down and hit his chest and arm, both of which were fully absorbed by his tiger leather coat :> I'm waiting on him to move to his new burrow on the single-tile-width longest possible bridge you can build, hoping length may fling them farther.. The overall dream is to set up two bridges that can toss dwarven children back and forth between them, or at least dig out a 30 z-level pit underneath for them to fall into..

Second up is 'The Big Arrow', where I burrow a child on top of a pillar out in front of the ballista on the second floor of my castle in hopes of obliterating it with a giant arrow "Science" pending while I make more ballista arrows (only had a single iron one left..)

I wish I could just enable them for cooking

Guys, just assign them to cages (can you?) no.  Nvm.  Train you adults in swimming and use a waterfall.
Or, burrow the children outside to watch for snatchers.

[escondida]

I forgot to mention that the first ballista shot went wide and struck a tree 1 z-level above the ground and the entire tree disappeared, no collapse, no wood.. If someone would kindly take that to the crazy bug tracker if it hasn't been reported I'd greatly appreciate it (don't want to make a whole thread for it..).. And that dwarchild, who obviously got its throat crunched in, has just walked himself to the hospital with no visible throat injury in his description page or health page..

Yet another reason to update siege engines, huh? You can create your own account on the bug tracker, and as the discoverer, you're in the best position to describe it accurately and provide a save where the bug can maybe be reproduced. Just do a quick search for "ballista" and/or "catapult" and/or "siege engine" to make sure nobody else reported it first (-: