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Author Topic: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)  (Read 5531 times)

bigjaredmonkey

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Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« on: September 22, 2014, 01:47:42 pm »

In this you will be trying to destroy a tower for no reason.
The tower has an indestructable Anti OP forcefield.
example:
(BOB123) i hire chuck norris to roundhouse the tower!
(me) the kick deflects off of the Anti OP forcefield. one damage to the tower.

pretty much anything that would be an instakill or a ton of damage is nerfed.
you dont have to just try to kill the tower.
you can defend it too.
the more the tower is killed, the tougher it gets.
THIS IS MEANT FOR HILARITY. EXPECT VERY HILARIOUS OUTCOMES.

TOWER HP: 10,000/10,000


TOWER ACTION: the tower suddenly appears in the middle of a field! People have the sudden reaction to destroy it.

« Last Edit: September 22, 2014, 03:02:51 pm by bigjaredmonkey »
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This is a birch door. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of chicken leather. This object menaces with spikes of chicken leather. On the item is an image of ravens in birch.
Noob fortress, a succession game for noobs.
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=157847.0

MrVoid

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #1 on: September 22, 2014, 01:53:42 pm »

Run up and drop kick the tower.
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bigjaredmonkey

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2014, 01:56:09 pm »

TOWER HP: 9,999/10,000


Run up and drop kick the tower.
congratulations, you broke your legs.

-1 TOWER HP

EFFECTS
MRVOID: BROKEN LEGS (cannot use legs until healed)
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This is a birch door. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of chicken leather. This object menaces with spikes of chicken leather. On the item is an image of ravens in birch.
Noob fortress, a succession game for noobs.
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=157847.0

Iituem

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #3 on: September 22, 2014, 01:56:34 pm »

I employ an army of kobolds to undermine the approaches to the tower.
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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #4 on: September 22, 2014, 02:22:21 pm »

I attempt to seduce the tower.
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bigjaredmonkey

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #5 on: September 22, 2014, 03:01:51 pm »

I employ an army of kobolds to undermine the approaches to the tower.

due to me not knowing who you are siding with, the kobolds steal your pants and run away.
you are now pantsless.

I attempt to seduce the tower.

sheogorath rewards you for doing such a ridiculous action by turning you into a 8 oz. glass. you will be turned back and then forced to defend in two turns.

TOWER HP: 9,999/10,000
TOWER ACTION: the tower is amused.

EFFECTS:
MrVoid: BROKEN LEGS, (1/3)
Iituem: PANTSLESS
Kevak: 8 OZ GLASS, (0/2)
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This is a birch door. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of chicken leather. This object menaces with spikes of chicken leather. On the item is an image of ravens in birch.
Noob fortress, a succession game for noobs.
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=157847.0

10ebbor10

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2014, 03:20:36 pm »

Play Spawnwrithe, have it attack tower next turn (It doesn't have haste)

http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=259016&type=card
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Again_Dejavu

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #7 on: September 22, 2014, 03:26:56 pm »

Build own tower, immediately opposite of the first tower.
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blazing glory

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2014, 03:46:41 pm »

Lead a team of saboteurs to dig several tunnels under the tower, causing the lack of solid ground beneath it to collapse it.
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bigjaredmonkey

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #9 on: September 22, 2014, 04:10:56 pm »

Play Spawnwrithe, have it attack tower next turn (It doesn't have haste)

http://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=259016&type=card
you forgot to play 2 and a green. you lost the round, because of mana burn, which dealt 3 damage to your 3 point life. it is a outdated and unused rule.

Build own tower, immediately opposite of the first tower.
there is now another tower.

Lead a team of saboteurs to dig several tunnels under the tower, causing the lack of solid ground beneath it to collapse it.
Dejavu's tower collapses. congratulations!

TOWER HP: 9,994/10,000
TOWER ACTION: a brick falls from the top of the tower, dealing 5 damage and landing on a 8 oz glass!

EFFECTS
MrVoid: BROKEN LEGS (2/3)
Iituem: PANTSLESS
Kevak: 8 OZ GLASS (SHATTERED = DED)

GRAVEYARD OF DEAD PEOPLE, NOW DEFENDERS
Kevak

RESURRECT PEOPLE TO TURN THEM INTO ATTACKERS
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This is a birch door. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of chicken leather. This object menaces with spikes of chicken leather. On the item is an image of ravens in birch.
Noob fortress, a succession game for noobs.
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=157847.0

blazing glory

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #10 on: September 22, 2014, 04:13:06 pm »

Use my inner giant strength to punch the tower!
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Salsacookies

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2014, 04:18:10 pm »

By the might of Armok, STRIKE THE EARTH!!!
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PrivateNomad

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2014, 04:30:32 pm »

TOWER ACTION: a brick falls from the top of the tower, dealing 5 damage and landing on a 8 oz glass!
You just activated my trap card!

bigjaredmonkey

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2014, 04:38:49 pm »

Use my inner giant strength to punch the tower!
ow! no hitting! -tower -5HP

By the might of Armok, STRIKE THE EARTH!!!
you being to dig out a dwarf fortress.

You just activated my trap card!
you wasted a trap card. you aren't an 8 oz glass.

TOWER HP: 9,989/10,000
TOWER ACTION: "a vile force of darkness has arrived!" oh look, it's an entire small fortress worth of goblins, including the demon.
GOBLIN ARMY GOBLINS: 5,000/5,000
GOBLIN ARMY TROLLS: 1,000/1,000
DEMON HP: 7,500/7,500

EFFECTS:
Iituem: PANTSLESS
salsacookies: FORTRESS DIGGING (0/5)
privatedigging: WASTED TRAP CARD
blazing glory: NO HITTING, BIETCH (0/5)
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This is a birch door. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of chicken leather. This object menaces with spikes of chicken leather. On the item is an image of ravens in birch.
Noob fortress, a succession game for noobs.
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=157847.0

elpreda

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Re: Destroy the Tower (Round 1)
« Reply #14 on: September 22, 2014, 04:41:06 pm »

Uses Nagasaki against the tower and it's defenders.
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