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[bloodyfool]

My legendary clothesmaker just threw a tantrum because his masterwork giant cave spider silk pants were stolen by invisible goblins. Which I guess I can understand, they probably were really nice pants. The thing I don't understand is why he decided to mangle the limbs of one of my legendary craftdwarves and break the legs of my legendary carpenter. What I also don't understand is why the game decided to choose the slowest, stupidest and decidedly most distant fortress guard to make the arrest. I kind of understand why he decided to mangle the upper body and break the lower left leg of another of my farmers, I never liked him either. I can't fully comprehend why the tantrumming dwarf then decided to mangle the lower body of my original metalsmith. I suppose I could deal with that considering that he never made legendary status despite making a rather nice silver ring named Sidavan. Now the next part confuses me greatly, but not as much as what is still to come. I would really like to know why this dwarf that was so outraged over the loss of his fancy pants decided to go out of his way all the way to the infirmary and continue beating the shit out of my legendary carpenter. He now has an almost completely mangled set of limbs and seems to be in a permanent coma. Now my fortress guard was getting close, despite the fact he was taking the longest possible route to get to his target. Unfortunately the clothesmaker dwarf decided to move to the centre of my production area, running straight past the strolling guard where he proceeded to break the arms and torsos of several unimportant dwarves and beat someones pet horse to death. Eventually the guard managed to subdue this insane little bastard and dragged him off to the prison. Now this part is really weird. Apparently I had left the prison door passable for pets, so the imprisoned dwarf's pet cow and pet dog decided to pay him a visit. Rather than being comforted, the dwarf went into another tantrum and beat the living shit out of his pet cow, which has been with him since he arrived at the fortress. I'm really struggling to understand that bit. So now the dwarf is facing a 326 day prison sentence for his crimes against society, which really seems quite lenient considering the extent of his damage.

This has all come out in a jumble because I'm seriously confused about the events.

Now there are a couple of things that I would like an answer to.

1. How on earth did these rat bastard goblin thieves manage to get into my fortress in the first place? I assumed goblins couldn't swim, but supposing they can, does this mean they can bypass locked doors? Or pop out of wells? And supposing that they did pop out of the wells, how did they manage to sneak undetected through the busiest part of the fortress where you would be lucky to have more than one space between dwarves to steal my dwarves treasured possessions? I mean, it really seems absurd.

2. Is this going to happen every time a "masterwork" gets destroyed, stolen or lost? I mean come on, my dwarves pump them out by the second.

3. Why would the furthest away fortress guard be piked to sort out the mess? And why only one? Surely it would make sense for at least 3 of them to try and apprehend the dwarf at fault.

This has kind of killed my enjoyment of this current fortress, seeing 5 of my original 8 dwarves (the metalsmith counts because he dragged an anvil through the wilderness to my fortress all on his lonesome) put out of action because of one pair of disappearing pants. 6 of 8 when you include my legendary miner who recieved a mangled right hand sparring in the barracks.

[Shujaa]

Cage traps are the best way to stop thieves, in my experience.

[bloodyfool]

I forgot to mention that all entrances to my fortress are covered in traps, which is hy I'm so bewildered. I already caught 4 goblins at my front door in previous seasons.

[Mechanoid]

it could be possible that those traps that caught the initial goblins weren't reset in time to catch the second set of thieves, and kill them.

[bloodyfool]

I just continued playing and the chained bastard beat his poor pet dog into a pulp of red. His prison sentence has just been extended to 745 days.

I have about 20 cage traps at the entrance and no goblins were caught this time around. I've caught 2 sets of goblins at my front door SEASONS ago and the two traps that were triggered (both times) were restocked immediately after.

[RPB]

My guess is that thieves can crawl out of the chasm (joy of joys).

Prison sentences seem kind of messed up--crippling another dwarf for life gets you a month or two so long as you don't actually kill him, but murdering a cat gets you almost a year. Really, they should be getting a medal.

[ToxicFrog]

quote:Originally posted by RPB:
<STRONG>Prison sentences seem kind of messed up--crippling another dwarf for life gets you a month or two so long as you don't actually kill him, but murdering a cat gets you almost a year. Really, they should be getting a medal.</STRONG>

Oi. If not my fortress's large population of feral cats, I'd have a serious lizardman problem.

[RPB]

Really? If it weren't for my lizardman problem, I'd have an even larger feral cat population. I'd give them medals too, but it would have to be posthumously.

[Zaratustra]

Frankly, these dwarves are the whiniest I've ever seen.

Udin: "Hey what happened man"
Thikut: "RAARGH MY PET DIED I NOW WANT TO PUNCH YOU"
*Thikut punches Udin in the arm. Udin looks at the arm, gets pouty, and runs crying to his bedroom*
Thikut: "I feel better now. Lalalala carry rocks from one pointless place to another pointless place"
Guard: "You punched that guy in the arm. Also you kicked a cat."
*Guard breaks all of Thikut's limbs*
Thikut: "WAAAAAAAAAH"

[RPB]

Your dwarves stop after punching a guy in the arm? My dwarves never stop tantruming until they've killed at least one dwarf, ripped the limbs off of two others, and built a pyramid out of dead kitten skulls.

[Zaratustra]

Actually, I think he punched two or three people in the arm. I had to sacrifice those people, of course.

[ravensword227]

The OP had me in tears -- of laughter!  As I understand it, certain monsters, such as goblin theives, not only have stealth, they are learned enough to bypass certain traps; such as falling stone traps.  From what I read in an SA thread, apparently you can capture them with a falling cage trap; however, I cannot tell you if it catches them 100% of the time.  I've not caught one yet, nor had any reported problems, but I made damn sure to put plenty of hanging cage traps at the entrace, near the underground river, wells, barracks and personal rooms.

[LordNagash]

I've had quite a few goblin corpses turn up in my refuse pile, which causes me to laugh maniacally and shout "That's what you get for trying to steal my stuff!"