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[Sam Polson]

@Tiruin

The problem is -- you're overcomplicating things, sorry if it was too rough or anything.

I had a good childhood. That stuff is normal, everyone's been through the same and even worse.
The reason is why I don't want to have anything in common with humanity is because how messed up this society is.
Can you tell, that a society, where could be justified anything, even a rape, and where friendship doesn not exists could be worthy? Can you affirm that?
I can't. Ponies aren't perfect, but they hold all these values I need. This is why I want to be there. Not in here.

[Tiruin]

Can you tell, that a society, where could be justified anything, even a rape, and where friendship doesn not exists could be worthy? Can you affirm that?

Those justifications are a result--a result that doesn't justify the means. Though you're rather focused very much on that...
Cursory search on the net on the matter (despite me having books on it...). I'd like you to read heavily on that, and give feedback. [Emphasis, #1]
{While that link is pretty...err, lacking in formality, I've linked it only to provide a basic idea. Backing up to the real topic--yes, there are people who would try to justify their wrongdoings, but the essence of judgement lies in how they do it, and what they did. There are also people who would admit clean guiltiness of doing a wrong act. It's a case that differs per person based on a lot of other things [like moral values, and personal character]}

I had a good childhood. That stuff is normal, everyone's been through the same and even worse.

What stuff? That which was exactly described in the OP?
That's not normal. Whatever happened to you back there was a result of abusive people. Or rather, those who lack many factors to be said that they are mature in their judgement [ie Domestic Abuse? And that note on your community].

[Sam Polson]

I don't see it as normal. Some people don't either. But when I see that so many people justify it... I just can't believe that I'm one of them, a human. Moments like these make me want to stop thinking and just... forget everything I read. But I can't. I'm really ashamed to be a human.
I know it's wrong, to justify it -- but many people DO justify it. It's wrong, but they DO it. That's what I mean.

As for stuff... well, nobody beat me up, when I was a kid. Although many people would tell that it's a good thing to beat a child in some cases. I don't know.
What I mean is being a witness of constant fightings, scandals, being bullied for years and stuff like this. It's normal.

[Tiruin]

I understand that feeling--disassociation with what evil you see is prevalent, and how you could muchly hate how it is.
However, don't you think that same feeling would've been felt by us, too? Everyone in this thread pokes at one point: an error in your logic. If its 'human nature', then why aren't you being like such? If its human nature, that assumes completely everyone else would be like what you hate.

What we're quaintly saying is that it isn't human nature. I sincerely get being ashamed of being human, when such atrocities are committed and were committed, but wonder why we're also giving personal accounts and other advices on the matter.
Because one: We're all uniquely different. A basic paradox which encompasses the entirety of humanity.
Two: Those attitudes aren't natural. As in, attitude and personality is a developed construct from birth till death. Disassociate your bond of being human, to that which you hate. Meaning: You are human. You aren't like what you focus on. Why is there shame? You are not like them.
Three: 'So many people' doesn't seem to apply for you, in your personal case there. Why so?
It also doesn't apply to 90%+ of the majority of people, however the question lies in why you believe it applies to everyone.

If it was human nature, then why is everyone here present disclaiming and backing up with empirical and proven evidence, that it isn't, instead of falling back and defending themselves in the comparative idea which you're believing in there?

They are the people who are you trying to help. They will abuse your help and blame you for not helping enough, or for you help in general. Like, they asked you to do something for them, you did it and they are blaming you, because you had to figure out somehow, that they wanted you to do all their chores, clean their house and wash their car, for example. And they will be always reminding you and tell that you are a bad person who couldn't even take a hint and help.

Quoted from your post back there.

[Sam Polson]

Ponies would never leave me. They would never make me feel terrible, if I don't give them a reason to. And they wouldn't make me being all alone all the time.
Humans did all of this. All this harm caused by them. And the worst thing about it -- I can't just live without them. Without talking and such. But they keep leaving me. And hurt me in the process.
I'm tired of it.

[Vector]

.

[Sam Polson]

But when I see that so many people justify it... I just can't believe that I'm one of them, a human.

I'm sorry you feel so alienated. I don't have much else to say... I've been following your situation from the start, and MLP isn't really my thing so I didn't comment much. But I guess I feel the same way pretty often--alienated. It really hurts.

I do recommend the therapy if you can find someone who is a therapist, not a psychiatrist. I had two very bad therapists but now I am finally starting to get better with the third one, who I have been seeing for about 8 or 9 months now. They can give you a lot of hints on how to cope with your life better, and a place to be listened to safely when you are feeling intolerably lonely. Things are still extremely hard, and to be honest I only started going because I couldn't see any other solution to my problem but killing myself--I didn't have a high opinion, either. But everything is finally getting a bit better.

Wish I could say the same, but it won't change a thing. I tried, honestly.
And it's not about doctors or whatever. I just feel this way and have many evidences. To feel like it.

[Vector]

.

[Tiruin]

And it's not about doctors or whatever. I just feel this way and have many evidences. To feel like it.

Erm, to feel like what, exactly? :O

...Could I ask if the feeling of loneliness is also a major problem there? As in, being abandoned(?) by friends or such? Isn't there ways to contact them?

You can also get many books on psychological conditions out of the library. That's another thing I'm doing for myself :]

Also this! Try philosophy books, too!

~~
...I don't think the problem is with the ponies at all, but something deeper than that, to clarify.

[Sam Polson]

And it's not about doctors or whatever. I just feel this way and have many evidences. To feel like it.

Erm, to feel like what, exactly? :O

...Could I ask if the feeling of loneliness is also a major problem there? As in, being abandoned(?) by friends or such? Isn't there ways to contact them?

You can also get many books on psychological conditions out of the library. That's another thing I'm doing for myself :]

Also this! Try philosophy books, too!

I meant, to feel like I don't want to have anything in common with humans.
As for friends -- I made a post, where I explained this situation. I tried to, but it's useless. It's their choice, not mine. And yes, loneliness is killing me, making everything even worse.

[Tiruin]

Could you restate why you don't want to have anything in common with humans? I'm unsure.
...Because of their potential to do bad things?

And it's not about doctors or whatever. I just feel this way and have many evidences. To feel like it.

Erm, to feel like what, exactly? :O

...Could I ask if the feeling of loneliness is also a major problem there? As in, being abandoned(?) by friends or such? Isn't there ways to contact them?

You can also get many books on psychological conditions out of the library. That's another thing I'm doing for myself :]

Also this! Try philosophy books, too!

I meant, to feel like I don't want to have anything in common with humans.
As for friends -- I made a post, where I explained this situation. I tried to, but it's useless. It's their choice, not mine. And yes, loneliness is killing me, making everything even worse.

There's nobody there who you could talk to or such?

[Sam Polson]

Could you restate why you don't want to have anything in common with humans? I'm unsure.
...Because of their potential to do bad things?

And it's not about doctors or whatever. I just feel this way and have many evidences. To feel like it.

Erm, to feel like what, exactly? :O

...Could I ask if the feeling of loneliness is also a major problem there? As in, being abandoned(?) by friends or such? Isn't there ways to contact them?

You can also get many books on psychological conditions out of the library. That's another thing I'm doing for myself :]

Also this! Try philosophy books, too!

I meant, to feel like I don't want to have anything in common with humans.
As for friends -- I made a post, where I explained this situation. I tried to, but it's useless. It's their choice, not mine. And yes, loneliness is killing me, making everything even worse.

There's nobody there who you could talk to or such?

Maybe about random stuff. But it's not what I want anyway.
As for why I don't want to have anything in common with humans? Because of all these bad things they're doing to each other. Not just bad, horrible things.
And I'm almost always found people like this. Or people who leave me. Either way, it sucks.

[andrea]

There is kindness in the world, it is just harder to see than all the bad things. That is actually part of human nature, we have an easier time remembering the bad rather than the good.

But a small example: this morning I got to the subway station , but I lacked a ticket and the machine selling them was broken.
A lady waiting at the station gave me one of the spare tickets she left.
We had never met and we will never met. It costed her little ad I wasn't going to lose much had I missed the train. But the point is, she had no obligation or benefit to help me. No way to gain money or similar. But she could help and she did. And this helpful person wasn't abused for her kindness, not in the slightest.
And it wasn't surprising even: Had I had any worse problem, I am sure somebody would have helped. THAT is my experience.

And to me this means that there are a lot of kind people around. for every thief, 10 charitable people. For every dead soldier in war, 10 children born by love. For every person abandoned, 10 friends helping each other for ife.
But they aren't as loud, not as noticeable. It is like reading a novel, when all you see is the big conflict, with a big bad and a lone hero. But it takes effort to notice all the nice people living a quiet life away from all that.
Such is life. You need to look for the good parts, but they are there.

Of course my life experience of a world full of kind people with some bad apples diffes greatly from your vision of an evil world without niceness and friendship. I can't say which one is more valid, but you should consider that perhaps a bad local environment at some point in your life or perhaps even now could have made you not see the whole picture , but rather just its saddest corner.
Your experiences, from the way they are described in the OP and in part from your own words don't seem like normal at all.

[Prudent Viper]

I just want to make it clear that I don't think anything good will come out of this discussion.

[Tiruin]

I just want to make it clear that I don't think anything good will come out of this discussion.

Why so?