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[They Got Leader]

Based on the popular I Badly Draw your Reports thread, I wish to take upon myself the challenge of badly drawing your reports! Except, I am going to do it with a twist. To challenge my skills, I want to also make a 50 word story that goes with your report. I will try my best to interpret your ideas, concepts and reports. I do not promise the stories will fit your fortress, but I will try my best to do so. Any admissions will be taken, and I will try my best to make them into pictures and stories. All pictures will be rendered masterfully by the unskilled hands of me. In MS paint.

Post away! I am willing to do reports, screenshots, announcements and pretty much anything that you think could be funny as a picture. My only request is keep it vanilla, or give me something to work with (I have no idea what half of the things in Masterwork are). There is no shame in that I have to Google some of the animals before I draw them.


Disclaimer: I am not an artist. Or a writer.

[pisskop]

Do you only do reports?

I have a basic description of a creature, just a warm up, really:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Mimodo]

That looks almost like the forgotten beast I had once. The red was probably 50% longer, and the scrolling took forever to get down to the bottom

[They Got Leader]

Here is my 10 minute rendition. The text was a bit hard to read, so I assume its name was "Zuhu Smumakvutu", forgotten beast.

Zuhu was powerful. He was a forgotten beast, an ancient creature barely considered of this world. His size was intense, and his poison was deadly. He stalked around at night, easing his way into myth and legend by harassing mostly the local farmers. There was a nearby fortress that he had seen growing. It was time for him to take plunder and taste flesh.

I will admit that trying to get all of the intense scarring would be a but insane.

[Panando]

The demise of an evil puppy-assassin:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It is the important to note that the dog is biting and shaking around the goblin's head during the decapitation, and that a marksdarf shot the goblin exactly once (then wandered off/watched) which gave the dog a fighting chance.

[Urist McPanzerbeard]

So, I've got a bit of a werebeast epidemic in my fort at the moment. Won't link the full report, as it's very repetitive, but..

After the beast changed back into a dwarf, the child ripped out his lower teeth, bit him in the arm and started shaking him about until he gave in to pain. I forget, sometimes, just how crazy this game is.

[They Got Leader]

The dog immediately jumped into action. The fortress was under attack! Thieves!  Without hesitation, instincts kicked in and the dog jumped and latched onto the opposing thief. A nearby marksdwarf watched on for a second, then excused himself to the dining hall for some booze. Having heard the sounds of screaming, the militia was roused and quickly dispatched the goblin shortly thereafter.

(I will get on the werebeast one in a bit)

[Tacomagic]

I may or may not be able to find the report, but one of my favorite moments was from my themed-game Scoutbridge.  During the tantrum spiral that claimed the fort, one of my peacocks fought off, and killed, four dwarves.

Unfortunately, the peacock had its remaining lung injured during the last of the four fights and suffocated shortly thereafter.  Even so, I've always wished to somehow pay homage to that brave peacock.

I'll check my old DF folder and see if I can dig up the actual report.  I'd bet that peacock was named after one of the kills.

[Aslandus]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

a piglet keeps kicking a dwarf peasant, for about three pages in the report screen (in the midst of a tantrum spiral, crazy stuff like cats being thrown across the dining hall and the fort guards trying to keep order in the background if possible)

[They Got Leader]

The child witnessed the transformation of the werebeast. He had but once choice: to kill the crazy creature that had plagued the fortress. He leapt at the man, kicking him in the face and freeing teeth from the werebeast. Once he landed, he immediately bit and latched onto the man’s arm, hoping that help would come.




Later he would be a hero. Later they would call him “Law-bringer”, but at the time, they scoffed at him. He saw their lawlessness and he brought law. Scoutbridge forever would sing songs of the glory of the peacock that slew four dwarves.




Life as a pig inevitably comes to death. This little piggy did not go to the market. No. He revolted and attacked his handlers. His parents had always said “oink oink oink oink”, which made no sense to him. But he took it to heart when they were hauled to the butchers shop…

[Quartz_Mace]

I don't have the exact report, but I had a very interesting FB that showed up naw my fortress, even though he didn't do anything. A fluffy blue koala twisted into humanoid form! It has 3 tails and it squirms and figets! Beware it's deadly spittle! I'd appreciate if you showed him fighting axe dwarves, clad in steel, please.

[Boss Fist]

Fath Dolilolin, Suturer cancels Handle Large Creature: Too insane.

[They Got Leader]

The beast was mad. It twitched and fidgeted, slowly moving towards the fortress for which it was heading. Before it could reach its destination, however, it was met by dwarves. Dwarves clad in steel, moving to defend their land. They would do it, even if it cost them their lives.

[Quartz_Mace]

The beast was mad. It twitched and fidgeted, slowly moving towards the fortress for which it was heading. Before it could reach its destination, however, it was met by dwarves. Dwarves clad in steel, moving to defend their land. They would do it, even if it cost them their lives.

Great job thanks! This is actually really good. I certainly couldn't have done better.

[Tacomagic]

Later he would be a hero. Later they would call him “Law-bringer”, but at the time, they scoffed at him. He saw their lawlessness and he brought law. Scoutbridge forever would sing songs of the glory of the peacock that slew four dwarves.

Awesome job!

*Sniff*

I salute you, Peacock whose name I cannot find in the legend file.  May you have found 30 peahens in whatever fowl afterlife greeted your tortured, heroic soul.